The "Wardrobe Staples" You Don't Really Need

So on here I have a list of staples for every woman’s wardrobe. Often I am asked why I didn’t include X or Y, or that I may have missed A or B. Many items are considered staples in books and websites. The thing is, most books are not geared for every shape. They don’t consider those with a very slight or “boy figure,” they don’t consider those who are plus-sized and not just bigger but curvier. They don’t consider things like large busts, small busts, thick appendages, short torsos, cankles and booties made for rap videos. I made this list several years ago, and haven’t had much need to change it drastically (do know it’s being renovated with fresh pictures that don’t disappear and verbiage for all items) because as a woman who has been large and small, friends and relatives with women who are tall, shorter than I, heavier and smaller and all sorts of lovely shapes… I know there are some “staples” out there that do not work on the majority of society – those of us who do not relate to the sample sized women in the fashion mags. And so, the “staples” I feel do not work for everyone: 1. Classic white shirt. Oh this one is almost on everyone’s list. If you are a regular reader, you know I posted about this before. If you have a very slight figure, if you are like me with large bust and shoulders and short neck, you know this item rarely looks good on you. If you’re tall you may have to order a specialty shirt (costing more, offering less selection) to get it to not be a belly top. Those with busts often have trouble with it fitting across your chest and not being too big elsewhere (yes there are custom shirt companies that sell by bust size, but the often assume you are a straight size elsewhere and the prices are quite high). And let’s got get into the fact that a huge percentages of complexions just don’t look good in white. If you are not trying on a white shirt in a fitting room and finding yourself looking crisp, classic and elegant, then don’t buy it no matter what the how-to books tell you. I have owned one white shirt in the past couple of years and today I donated it because I realized that my figure has changed and again it is a shape where it just doesn’t look right in a white tailored shirt. 2. Black pencil skirt. If you have a belly, large legs, no curves, a large bum or an athletic figure, chances are you don’t look good in a black pencil skirt. If you are not a “skirt person,” you will feel utterly awkward in this garment. If you like soft neutrals, a black skirt will stick out in your wardrobe like a sore thumb. Wrong cut, and your skirt isn’t classic – it’s only appropriate at a night club or else terribly dowdy. I own a black skirt, and it still has the tags on it. It was an amazing steal and matched my suit jacket perfectly so I bought it if I ever had the type of client where a skirt suit would be more appropriate than pants. A skirt is a good thing to have in your wardrobe, but often your black dress or your printed skirt will be more flattering and just as versatile. 3. Ballet flats. Ah, if we all were built like Audrey Hepburn, we could all sport skinny black trousers and ballet flats and be utterly chic and comfy. But we are not, and some people just shouldn’t own this type of shoe. First thing, they are small and round. If you are not-so small and round, a tiny flat shoe like this will make you look even bigger and quite top-heavy. If you feel more yourself in loose styles, ballet flats may easily make you look as though you don’t have feet. Feet help balance out your look and your figure, that’s why I recommend at least a slight heel and considering pointy toed shoes. Finally ballet flats are often lacking good support. You may consider flats for comfort but find that a ballet flat is actually painful after a bit of time. The foot is more naturally comfortable with some arch support, cushioning and a very slight bit of lift. Consider slight wedges, kitten heels, or if a flat – something with an interesting toe to complete your look. And if you are channeling Audrey and have the figure, then I say go for it! Ballet flats are adorable and classic. 4. A classic trench. Take it from someone who looks like crap in trenches and lives in a rainy part of the country – this is NOT a necessity. Trenches often have flaps, double-breasted buttons, a self-belt and all sorts of other things that can make a curvy or petite woman look as though she has wrapped herself in cardboard. Be it black, taupe or a fun color, a trench can be bulky, overwhelming and a non-essential in most climates in the United States. I live in The Land of Summer or Winter and No In-between so my jacket wardrobe is a rain slicker for torrential downpours, a pashmina for breezy nights and a couple heavy winter coats. If you live in an area that has more mild of climate, you may need a coat for cool and sprinkly days. Consider a Macintosh – these are single breasted, sans belt and a bit more figure-flattering. I say brighten up the rainy days with a cheerful color, a robin’s egg blue or candy pink can be a surprising complement to the majority of your wardrobe and will bring a smile to your face on the gloomiest of days. If you have a more casual lifestyle, consider a twill jacket – anywhere from mid-hip to mid-thing, with a zipper or buttons it can be fun and keep away the wind very nicely. There are great coats out there, but honestly the classic trench looks beautiful on some, but dumpy on many. 5. Pearls. Really, if you are not a pearl person you know it. And that’s okay. Accessories are great for expressing your personality and individuality; I don’t believe in classic accessories or trendy accessories. If you love it, it usually works. This also goes for diamond studs, cameo pins, Tiffany-logo necklaces and bracelets and Hermes scarves. If it doesn’t scream out to you, don’t buy it. Good accessories are those that you love to wear over and over and make a basic sweater or dress YOU. Now if you like pearls and diamond studs, that’s lovely and I say wear them even with jeans and tees – they always say that pearls lose their luster when not worn! 6. A black cashmere turtleneck. If you have a short neck, a double chin, a large chest, I say stay away from the turtlenecks. They are not flattering. Also if you get claustrophobic or itchy with things on your neck, do not become a slave to fashion. You can be totally toasty in other styles. 7. Knee-high boots. Yes they are lovely and a good pair with the right wardrobe can become an item in regular wardrobe rotation for years… only if that is your style. I personally cannot wear tall boots because I have very large calves. Styles made for large calves do fit, but I see that the boots then hide any shape to my legs making me look heavier and shorter. Maybe you are not a skirt person, then tall boots are pretty much pointless in your closet. If you have very slender legs, you may feel that an elegant pair of leather knee-highs look more like Wellingtons on you. Very tall or petite people may feel that they hit at an unflattering point on the leg. As with pearls, you know if you like this style – and if you do, look at yourself in a full length mirror with both pant legs rolled to skirt-length or in a skirt to REALLY see how they affect the whole picture. Nothing is chic or stylish if it ruins your shape. 8. A great watch. Maybe your signature is funky watches you have picked up around the globe. Maybe your signature is never wearing a timepiece. My mom has a wonderful watch that she has worn for years and has the band replaced every so often to keep it fresh. Where did she get it? At Target. It’s a classic white face with silvertone trim, she wears it with a black leather band and it’s small and unassuming. She loves it, and it fits her body and her style. Me personally, I don’t own a watch. I have no problem asking others the time or checking my cell phone. But that is just me. As with any other accessory, buy what you really love, make sure it fits your lifestyle and is of quality that makes it a worthy purchase. 9. Khaki pants/chinos. Unless you are the casual Lands End/L.L. Bean style of woman, these pants are NOT a necessity. The heavy fabric often adds bulk and is unforgiving to curves. Pleats and slanted front pockets do horrible things to a woman’s figure, and worn with a simple tee or polo often makes a lady look as though she works at Blockbuster. Khaki can be a great neutral, but so can black, beige, winter white, ivory, camel, brown, gray, olive and many other shades. Lighter weight stretch poplin, cotton sateen or versatile soft fabrics like crepe, triacetate, wool and linen blends are often more flattering and can easily look great with a tee or polo for casual events and dress up with a jacket or sweater for work. So if you love these items and love the way you look in the mirror, by all means purchase them. However if you try and try and these items just don't seem to work with your body type... it's okay. It is more important to be true to you than be a slave to fashion. Just as one man's trash is another man's treasure, so it is with fashion. If you are looking for help for some basics to begin a wardrobe, try my list in the sidebar. And if you find that items on that list do not work for your body, send me an email. I really appreciate feedback like that, because my goal is not to force everyone to look a certain way, or "my" way, but to be happy, comfortable and stress-free in their wardrobe.

Vote for Me!

http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/17068 It's time for the Blogger's Choice Awards and I have been nominated for Best Shopping Blog. I would be honored if you would vote for me; and while you are at it, look for or nominate your other favorite blogs! We bloggers don't usually get paid (yeah those ads? They look pretty but don't pay a heck of a lot) and recognition like this makes it all worth while. there are some awesome bloggers out there that deserve recognition! UPDATE: I believe I have updated to the correct link. If not, click on the button above and in the search feature in the top right part of the page, enter my website's url and it will direct you to the page. Please vote for Best Shopping Blog because for some reason I have gotten things like Best Blogger Host, and that's not like Jay Leno, that's like Type Pad!

Wednesday Ramblings...

On one of my other blogs, a reader noted that I wore black to a recent wedding. She believed that wearing black stated that you were not in favor of the marriage. During a recent chat on the website for a prominent paper, a contributor asked why fashion right now is all billowing maternity-inspired fashion when men are more attracted to fashion that shows the figure. Two weeks ago, I sported white pants with black shoes and top to work and had a coworker comment that she thought the rules still applied that white was reserved for between Memorial Day and Labor Day. I had a reader the other day email me and ask me what foundation she should wear since she looks ghastly in yellow yet feels the need to wear it since it is in fashion this season. This weekend a friend was getting married. While she was getting her hair done, the flower girls were being entertained by a children’s program on the television. I sat down and watched with the kids as that I had nothing to do at the time but wait. The episode was about rules. The puppets admitted they didn’t have any rules in their life and it was causing conflict and trouble. They learned what rules were and starting making rules right and left, believing more rules was better. If something is good, wouldn’t a large quantity make it great? They soon realized that having too many rules made their life no longer fun. They were tired, frustrated, confused by the rules. They soon learned to keep only the rules that made things run smoothly so all had fun. This children’s show applies to fashion. We have gone through periods in America where fashion was dictated by dozens of rules. No white after Labor Day, patent leather only for day time, your shoes must match your purse, older women need to cut their hair, overweight women wear dark billowy fabrics to discourage attention, shimmery makeup is left to those under 25, black and red worn at weddings shows that you do not support the union, and black should always be worn to a funeral. If you were purchasing a new refrigerator, you would do your homework. Out comes issues of Consumer Reports, neighbors would be asked about their recent buys, and often a few Internet searches would be conducted. You would enter the store armed with your information, ready to make an educated purchase. The same applies to most any purchase for your home. Even paint – you often look at catalogs and pamphlets seeing how color choices match with floor and furniture colors and get inspired from shows on HGTV and home-decorating periodicals. The reason you do this homework is because there are so many options out there. Not everyone has a blue living room and a green kitchen, you can have any color you desire, and the options of wallpaper, borders, paint techniques, moldings and trim. If you find the options fun, you may get more creative with the colors or textures. If you find it overwhelming, you may stick with a basic or replicate a picture you saw in a book. Well, fashion is the same way. Yes, there are trends just as there are in home décor (remember avocado-hued appliances?), but there are always the standards, and there are always enough choices to find something that works just for you. Just as everyone is now wearing babydoll tops and skinny jeans, so is everyone getting oak cabinets with green granite countertops and stainless appliances. But every so often, people choose white appliances, a modern look, restore old farmhouse kitchen cabinets or go Green with recycled countertops. Same with fashion. No need to follow the trends to the letter if they do not suit your shape, age or personal style. You are the most fantastic story ever written. Your childhood, your education, your travels, your passions and hobbies. No one else has a story quite like yours. If you were to be published, you would desire a book jacket that illustrated your story well, so people would understand the plot just from the cover photo and the few paragraphs of text on the back. Well clothing is your book jacket. A simple cover shows class and elegance and invites those who like to read to delve in and learn more. A bright and colorful jacket informs potential readers that the story will be vibrant, unique and artistic. A photo in soft focus with delicate colors infers that the story is romantic, feminine and a bit mysterious. Think about your hobbies, your passions, your dreams. They are what make you the amazing person you are. Clothing is a necessity in this society, there are certain rules regarding work, formal events, religious occasions, but few enough rules to still have fun. Like those moppets on that show, you need to understand the rules that are in place so all can enjoy this existence, and the rules that really just cause a headache and are superfluous. Do your homework, as you would for anything. A wardrobe should last you as long as many home appliances and furniture you purchase. You obviously already own clothing or else you are reading this from your bedroom swathed in your sheets. Point is, don’t rush into clothing just as you wouldn’t rush into purchasing a car or lawn mower. Don’t add to the collection unless it’s right – it’s better to stick for now with what you have and dislike than to spend money on things that will be added to the dislike pile. When you have the time and money and mentality to go shopping, remember who you are. Take photos and magazine clippings to inspire you and be true to yourself, inside and out.

The Mall and the SAHM

This week, I ran to the mall at lunch for some retail therapy. I recently bought a pair of black trousers that had such a perfect fit, fabric and cut that I returned to get them in two other colors. While strolling the mall sipping my iced coffee, I realized that the majority of the mall was occupied by mothers with their children. Women with slings holding sleeping infants, women with strollers holding up to three kids at a time at varying ages. Women and children hand in hand at the food court, on benches, in stores. As varying were the ages of their children were the appearances of these mothers. This mall is in a community where every economic level of person lives. On one side of the mall are million-dollar townhomes in a gated community, the other side are rent-controlled apartments. A mile up the street are McMansions and in the other direction, cozy blocks of split-level and rancher-style brick homes built in the 50s. I used to work at this mall, and saw people from all walks of life enter my store. This day of retail therapy and my years of retail management remind me that money does not equal style. My mom often tells me about my childhood. We were not well off and she had to save up to buy clothes for herself and us kiddies. Weekends were spent at yard sales for clothes, furniture and even Christmas presents come winter. Though my mom had a limited budget, she always looked great. She learned to sew to be able to dress for less and flatter her petite frame. She scoured sale racks and when something worked, she would buy multiples in varying colors to make things simple. Since she was a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM), she needed clothes that didn’t wrinkle, could handle multiple washings and were so easy to pair with one another, she could dress in the dark. Pictures of her during this time shows her in jeweled toned knit tops, black knit trousers, black shoes and a silver pendant necklace almost every day. Not too exciting, the sleeve and pant length seemed to change with the seasons, but the premise was the same. Considering it was the 70s and 80s, my mom had a shoulder-length perm that flattered her face but was low-maintenance. You couldn’t look at her and know her income level or that I had vomited on that shirt two days prior. She was a parent of two rambunctious children, a volunteer in our schools, the editor of the church newsletter, active in the community and always overextended. Though her life may have been frazzled, her appearance was not. It really is possible to look good and be a SAHM. And this is possible without spending much more time every day. It’s all about mindful shopping. I know I have written about this before, but this is something that is important to all women, no matter our lifestyle or responsibilities. As I walked down the mall, I had two women in front of me pushing strollers. They were friends, chatting with each other as they window-shopped. They were both in their 30s, both of average size, both with straight blonde hair and I believe even had the same strollers. That was where the similarities ended. One was in baggy over-washed black cotton capris that ended at the widest part of her calf. She paired this with a pink, black and white horizontally striped polo shirt that hit right at her waistband and with it a pair of black flip flops. Her hair was half up in a claw clip, though most was slipping out and fanning out around her head. She looked dumpy, disheveled and her clothes looked cheap. Her friend was also in black capris, but they were of a very heavy knit and fit her frame quite well. Paired with it was a turquoise boatneck ¾ sleeve top that hit at mid-hip. On her feet were black ballet flats and her hair was held back with a black elastic headband. Her outfit was just as low-fuss and easy care, yet she looked slimmer and more polished. Both wardrobes can go in the washer and dryer. Both outfits were comfortable and easy. The difference was that the woman in the turquoise seemed more mindful of what she was purchasing. 1. Don’t buy 100% cotton unless you love to iron. It wrinkles, and even an extra 10 minutes in the dryer won’t get those wrinkles out. Also, cotton is known to fade after many washings. Cotton clothes soon look rumpled, old and worn. You don’t have the time and money to replace them, so don’t buy them in the first place. 2. If your tummy is not your best feature, then don’t showcase it. Tops that hit right at your midsection draw attention to that area. Tucked-in tops emphasize the lower abdomen, and tops that are too tight do not flatter anyone. Look for tops that hit around mid-hip. This length is slimming to the torso without making the legs look short. No need for baggy tops – they often add bulk instead of hiding it. Look for something that either skims the body or sits pretty darn close. This will show you have the figure of a woman, not a sack of potatoes. 3. Flip flops are for the beach, not the mall. I say this often on here, but flops are bad for your feet. Your arches sink, you pull muscles between your toes and they do more harm than good. They are great when hopping in the car to drop the kid off somewhere, tooling around the garden, the pool or the shore but that’s about it. To preserve your feet for your future and not look sloppy, invest in some real shoes. Ballet flats are a great alternative and can be found for less than $20 at retailers like Target. A leather sandal in tan will go with 90% of your wardrobe and be more structured and attractive than a flip flop. This change affects your personal style as well as your personal health. 4. With skirts, dresses, shorts and capris, have them end at a slim part of the leg. Your thigh and your calf are the widest parts and when clothing ends there, it gives the appearance that your entire leg is that size. Do your figure a favor and if the garment is perfect except for the length, take them to the tailor. For about $5 they can hem it to a better place. 5. Consider solids. Stripes and patterns may add variety and you may think they hide stains, but they often look cheap and quickly look dated. A solid polo in French blue can look crisp with a pair of khaki Bermudas; a striped one can make you look bigger and often looks cheaper. The best way to make your bargain piece look more expensive is to buy it in a solid color, free of garment-dyed finishes, contrast stitching or elaborate details. Go for simple and you’ll go for gold. 6. Read the label. If it says Dry Clean Only, don’t buy it unless you have time and money for such a service. If it tells you to dry flat, it’s telling you not to buy it. You don’t have the time for this, and if you don’t follow the instructions you will probably ruin the shape or finish of the garment. 7. If it’s great, buy two. As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, I went and bought two more pairs of pants that I already owned and loved. They were the right length, color, fabric and fit. No one is taking a tally of how many styles of garments you own, all people notice is if you look nice. You found a great wrap top that flatters and fits and is easy care and perfection? Get it in black, pink and teal. Found a wrap dress that can hit the dryer as well as the dance floor? Get it in solid black and also in the red print. This is also true for shoes – get them in the neutral you wear most often (black or brown) and then get them in one other color (tan or a contrast shade like red pr green). If they are awesome, they are worth it. 8. Adjust your hair to your life. If you don’t have time to blow out your hair every morning, then get a cut that allows you to wash and wear. If you have bad hair days, you are human. Work with it with flattering accessories. Claw clips seem like a quick fix but look sloppy more often than not. Headbands are hip right now – great time to stock up. Also nothing is wrong with a low ponytail; side parts are flattering on rounder faces and a little hairspray on your brush or comb will help battle flyaways. 9. Buy a new bra. Whether or not you breastfed, your breasts will not be the same as they were pre-baby even if your waistline is. With any weight changes, your breasts change as well. Nothing makes you look firmer and fitter than a supportive bra. Also nothing makes you feel more like a woman than to have a gorgeous red satin and lace number under your standard tee shirt. 10. Keep the active wear for the gym. Knit shorts, baggy tee shirts from a vacation destination, matching hoodies and pants are not appropriate for “the real world.” It is just as easy to buy a feminine cut of tee shirt than to buy an oversized one. 11. Don't shy from a skirt or dress. If it hits around the knees, you can still crawl on the floor and run around without trouble. A skirt is always more polished, and a great tee-shirt style dress is easier to put on in the morning than a whole outfit. The one pictured is less than $40 by Jones New York, I found it at Nordstrom. 12. Show your personality. You are more than a mom, you are an amazing and vital woman. Wear your favorite colors, buy a leopard print shoe or a bold necklace. Small touches take your standard day wear from uniform to amazing with little work. Some companies I recommend to find beautiful, comfortable and durable garments: Lands End – I love this place. I buy knits from there that never shrink, fade or pill. They have petite, tall and plus sizes and offer fit guides to ensure you get the right size. I recommend you use this guide for many of their pieces run big. Best part? Their prices are very reasonable! Chico’s – Fabulous colors, fun accessories and lots of fabrics that resist wrinkles and fading. Do note their sizing is a bit different from most companies and they do not carry plus sizes. As with Lands End, they often run a tad big. J. Crew – J. Crew is the Mecca for pretty solid colored tops. Flattering cuts of polos and tees, high-quality cashmere, cotton and wool sweaters, and all with flattering yet not risqué necklines and cuts. J. Crew often runs small, especially in their bottoms but the quality is good, the cut is usually flattering and their return policy is fabulous. The price may be a bit higher than you’re used to, but the quality usually makes it worth the investment (I am still wearing J. Crew skirts and sweaters from a decade ago). I.N.C. by Macy’s – You may find this a strange choice but if you regularly visit this section you would understand. They carry petites and plus sizes, they always have the most gorgeous colors and a large selection of pants, shorts and capris for the season. I.N.C. does a fabulous job of taking what is on the runway and making is realistic and wearable for every woman. They carry prints, but also a plethora of solids every season in some high-quality knits and other washable fabrics. Boden – Feminine cuts, pretty colors, and great basics for any wardrobe. Do note this is a UK site so their sizes run differently than the us (they have a handy fit guide on the site). They don’t have many extended sizes, though some trousers are offered in long lengths. This company has mastered simple elegance with their basic style.

Fashion is Stupid

I am often attacked for my belief that style is a necessity for all people. I am told that people don’t have time, don’t have money, and feel that trying so hard to look good makes one appear superficial, materialistic, shallow and not a true reflection of their intelligent/feminist/scientific/minimalist self. Here’s the down and dirty. You are judged by what you look like. Accept it. Whether people realize it or not, they make assumptions about you by your appearance. This affects how you are treated at work, in a store, by your peers, your neighbors, a waiter, a doctor, a minister. You may say you don’t care, that if a person gets to know the real you, that appearance is no longer an issue. False. I had a coworker, a brilliant and hardworking woman. She worked in a different office from me, but we were on many projects together and got to know one another via phone calls and emails. She was a higher position than I, and she soon became a bit of a mentor to me, and then a friend. She admitted to me after many months that she was looking for a new job because she felt as though she wasn’t respected within the department. I agreed that she seemed to lack the respect, and I couldn’t understand why. She was poised, professional yet warm. As a mentor, she gave constructive criticism, challenging tasks and plenty of feedback. In her role, she was quick, detailed and talented. Clients wrote letters about her great performance with a project, however upper management spoke of her as though she was an idiot and a bit lazy. I never understood why until nine months after we first started working together, I met her in person. She was slim and tall, though seemed uncomfortable in her skin. She hunched over and let her long straight brown hair hang over the majority of her face. When she laughed she covered her mouth as though out of embarrassment. Her hair never seemed to be brushed, she never wore makeup and her clothes looked as though she inherited them from her grandmother – they were all too large, too short for her long legs, and seemed to be from the 1980s (shoulder pads, peplum jackets, weird large floral boxy jackets with matching long broomstick skirts, etc…). Though she was in her mid-30s one would guess that she was closer to 50. She soon left the company and got a job where she telecommutes. When she left I overheard management discussing it, thinking it was no great loss, “not like we could put her in front of a business meeting!” I thought it was a shame, some of the best work and brightest ideas just left the company. But they were right… how could you put a person who seemed so ill at ease in front of clients trying to sell our company, and make them believe that we are the best decision? When I was in high school, I was the previous millennium’s equivalent to goth. I had black hair, shaved off part of it, lived in a motorcycle jacket, Doc Marten boots and torn stockings. When I walked in the mall, mothers would hug their purses closer to their sides. I was once asked to leave a store even though I had done nothing but walk in and flip through a rack of clothing. As the statistician for my school’s soccer team, I once had a busload of players from another school taunt me and one player spit on me calling me a “psycho.” Funny thing was I was an honor roll student, president of many clubs at my school, attended church and had a very healthy and close relationship with my parents. I was considered a “goody goody” by my friends, not partaking in drugs, drinking, smoking or mature relationships with my boyfriends. However I had black hair and lots of eyeliner so those who did not know me considered me to be a derelict of society. In college I was a blonde for a couple of semesters and saw how differently I was treated. People were more willing to come up to me and ask directions or speak to me, I had a more relaxed rapport with teachers, and people thought I seemed “happier” during that period of time. Funny thing was that I was actually having the most miserable year of my college career, but no one took me seriously when I complained. I guess I didn’t “look” unhappy enough to school counselors or friends. I have a dear friend. She is a gorgeous woman inside and out. She oozes confidence and femininity and is incredibly intelligent. One place she does have problems is in everyday society. We meet for drinks and she tells me how for the fourth time that month someone has literally slammed a door in her face because he didn’t see her behind him. She goes from job to job, having much success in the interview but after a few months somehow ends up taking up the responsibility of the intern, the receptionist and the admin while those with less education and time with the corporation move up in the ranks. She goes to the bar and ends up standing there far longer than anyone else, never getting the attention of the bartender. She has found that in the love department, she has had the most success in online dating where a relationship via IM and email is established prior to meeting one another. Once they meet, the man is usually positively smitten. I thought about all of this while I sat across from this beautiful woman with insanely green eyes and long lashes, who has the cutest laugh and the most graceful movements. Then I thought about how she dresses herself. On that night at the bar, she was wearing a moss-green short sleeved cotton shirt, black trousers and black shoes. The shirt was fuzzy from far too many washings and looked garment-dyed probably from use and not from design. It looked to be 100% cotton and it looked as though she tried to get out the wrinkles with a run through the dryer. Her attempt was not successful as that the shirt looked like she pulled it off the floor of her bedroom. Her trousers were leftover from her 20 pound larger frame three years ago and bagged everywhere they shouldn’t. They dragged on the ground from the extra inches and the hem was torn and muddy. Her shoes were big chunky black loafers; a pair I had myself in the mid-90s that looked like clown shoes on her petite frame. Her hair was a blunt cut to the jaw, parted in the middle and tucked behind the ears. No jewelry, no makeup, no adornment whatsoever. I knew her as a fiery brilliant woman, but those on the street (and in her office and behind the bar) probably find her to blend into the woodwork, seem mousy and unsure of herself. We discussed fashion and she told me that no offense to me, but fashion depletes brain cells. One hardly ever sees a person with a PhD and a pair of Jimmy Choos. My response is that looking good does NOT have to equate with current fashion. It is possible for every person n the planet to look good, look appropriate and look the part of their culture/personality/lifestyle. That your insides have to be reflected on your outside to truly have personal style. I thought back to my years of black hair and torn clothes and wouldn’t have changed a thing – though I may not have fit into a crowd, I fit into my life and my personality. When I went to church I traded my monkey boots for loafers and my plaid miniskirts for a more conservative sweater with trousers. I thought about her, and wondered how that green wrinkled top expressed what kind of person she was. Her wearing that top was just as conflicting as her wearing my leather biker jacket from high school, or a cabbage-rose adorned dress from Laura Ashley. There is nothing wrong with having a uniform. The staples (see the sidebar) are tools to help it be effortless to look nice. I know many women who have just a handful of items in their closet all of the same color story yet they always look pulled together. I know moms who are always rumpled, and those who always look crisp. I notice how some of my mother’s friends look a decade older than the others, and some who look a decade younger based just on hair and clothing. Like my good friend, I am not a “crisp” person. If I wear white, I will spill coffee on it. If I wear cotton, it will get wrinkled. My hair falls flat, I sweat, I eat off my lipstick. To battle this, I hardly ever buy things that need to be ironed. I rarely wear white, and I buy a lot of knits. I always carry a Tide to Go pen with me, and I have learned to wear my hair in a way that works with my afternoon-limp hair, not fight against it. Why spend money on things that contradict who you are and make you uncomfortable? My friend’s favorite color is purple, yet I don’t think she owns a single purple thing in her wardrobe. She lives in neutrals, yet is a primary color personality. It is possible to be simple, classic and comfortable in a blue top as much as it is to be so in a tan one. Wear what you like, and it usually looks far better than what you think is easy, safe or comfortable. If you love to travel, then show it with jewelry you pick up on your travels. Are you an artist? How will anyone know in your drab, neutral frocks? Be an extension of your works with the colors and patterns that you wear. Want people to believe you are smart and serious? Then wear smart and serious with clean lines, simple pieces and strong yet minimal accessories. Love the outdoors? You can be stylish and still wear clothes that let you hike and climb at a moment’s notice. Hate consumerism? You can show your beliefs and look good with great items from Goodwill or your sewing machine. Be mindful of what you buy. Before you ever spend a dollar on a piece of furniture, an item in your grocery cart, or a piece of clothing take a minute to stop and think. Visualize this thing in your life – imagine it on your body, your plate or your home. Does it bring you joy? Does it make you better? Does it work with your life or against it? You have to buy pants, you have to buy shoes. Why not buy that which works for you as well as with you? Life can be tough, taking a few moments to think before you spend can make the road a bit easier and more pleasurable to travel. And you never know, that moment of mindfulness may get you a promotion, a date or a faster drink at the bar!

The Return of an Old Friend

I guess everything does come back in style if you wait long enough. Anyone remember Generra? Hot brand of the 1980s most famous for creating the much loved Hypercolor shirts. I remember Generra well; my family was too poor for name brands and I found a yellow canvas pullover with lots of grommets and drawstrings and New Wave embellishments at a yard sale for 75 cents. Though yellow has never been my color and the top was at least two sizes too big, I wore that thing every week because I owned a popular label. Generra, Outback Red, Benneton, Esprit, Guess?, Forenza… brands that were as much a necessity to a young girl in the 80s as a Liz Claiborne purse and matching wallet. How is it that brands like these that were such a hot commodity ended up being fodder for discount superstores and cheesy mail order fashion catalogs? Who decides when a brand is hot, or when it is not? Many of these oldies yet goodies have tried to make a comeback. Heck it works for hair bands, why not for the clothes that complimented the Aqua Net? Gloria Vanderbilt and Jordache had their fifteen minutes of fame a couple of seasons ago. We saw the return of jelly shoes, clear vinyl bags, high waists, neon colors, even mullets. But Generra? They aren’t having just fifteen minutes of campy fame. They are back, and they are far better than ever. Every hot boutique online and in town has a few of their pieces, there is even an in-store Generra boutique at Henri Bendel. This isn’t a flash in the pan, Generra has slowing been taking over the past couple of years, being seen on the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Hudson, Alexandra and Theodora Richards and also having their moment at New York Fashion Week 2007. I like it when brands make a comeback. I may not purchase Lacoste, Burberry, Generra or Le Tigre, but I admire their tenacity and impressive marketing skills. I find Generra’s new line to be a bit too utilitarian for my tastes, both in cut and color; but am excited to see an old friend back up on the runway. Now I just need to dig through my mom’s attic to see if I can find that yellow canvas pullover with the grommets...

Ugly Shoes

So I did it. I can’t believe I did, and if you know me you will be shocked as well. I have rules that I live by, and doing this broke one of the cardinal rules in the world of Allie. Thou Shalt Not Wear Ugly Footwear. Uggs came out, and that is the sound I made when I saw them worn on the feet of every skinny little teen girl in the mall. Jelly shoes made a comeback and they made me back up with horror. Let’s not even get into the therapy I had to accept the creation of high-heeled hiking boots. And then Crocs arrived. They’re comfortable, they’re antimicrobial so even though they are made of plastic they won’t make your feet stink. They don’t cause blisters or sweaty tootsies. Sounds perfect for gardening or standing all day as a nurse or doctor or chef. This does NOT mean they are appropriate for daily wear. No matter how many cute colors they come in, they are UGLY. They can’t be made cute with a denim miniskirt, a pair of leggings or a vintage tee. They are hideous things that look as though they are made by Lego and should be banned except for those who would usually wear orthopedic shoes. So I am going to a music festival this summer. Four days of camping, tunes, and lots of mud. I am addicted to the internet (um, yeah have four blogs people… it’s a problem!) and have been hitting message boards for this festival, finding out what camping gear I should take, what to wear, how to pack. There are full posts out there about the proper footwear because when it rains at this festival grounds, the place turns into major super duper mud. I have seen photographs of dozens of flip flops lost in mud. They say Tevas cause blisters, sneakers get destroyed, and the cheapest soundest footwear for this event is Crocs. They rinse off, they protect your feet from the sun and being stepped on, they stay in place in a mud pit, they don’t get stinky and you can stand all day and not be in pain. I was planning on taking my Reef flops and maybe an old pair of tennis, but after testimonial after testimonial about these blasted marshmallow shoes, I figured I should give them a try. It would suck to be stuck in Tennessee mud for a week with the wrong shoes. My husband works at REI and if any of you are married to retail folks, you know you usually get their discount. I headed to his shop to try on these dreaded Crocs. From the message boards, I heard they ran a bit big; I usually wear a 7.5 but fit comfortably in a 6. In my size I had the choice of red, purple, seafoam green, cadet blue and olive green. I was really hoping for the hot pink and tried on a size 5 but they were a tad too small. My husband came by and said the purple was funky without trying too hard. I decided on the traditional Cayman style, though they had the Mary Jane version. Sorry, if I am going to buy shoes of Styrofoam, I am going to accept the material, and not pretend they are cute or anything like “real” shoes. So I popped them on and walked around the shoe department. Even though they seem to be made like flip flops with toe covers, they seem to support the foot quite nicely. They aren’t as structured as Birkenstocks on the foot, but comfortable nonetheless. Slingbacks usually slide down on my weird ankles, but these stayed in place. The nubbies on the foot bed weren’t painful as they are in Adidas flops and my very sweaty feet felt dry and comfortable in their marshmallow casing. Then I looked at my reflection and was horrified. These shoes are HIDEOUS. My wide ankles looked totally nonexistent making my legs look like tree trunks. I am petite, but with these purple puffs I looked as though I should be on Little People, Big World. A reasonable outfit of Bermudas and a tee looked positively slovenly with these Barney-size and color shoes. I took them off and took them to the register, vowing to never wear them outside of music festivals and my back yard. I could see why they received such great reviews; they are darn comfortable shoes! The next day I walked to my friend’s house for a yoga session. She lives almost a mile away and I decided to wear the Crocs and see how they handle real walking. I arrived at her house blister free and just as comfortable as if I were wearing Nikes. That night I was heading into town for a community meeting and got dressed and thought… maybe I should wear the Crocs. They’re comfortable, I will be walking to town, they’ll add a slash of color to my neutral-hue outfit. I put them on, I looked at my reflection in the mirror… and I took them off and replaced them with some stacked flops from J. Crew. I just couldn’t do it. It was wrong, wrong, wrong. The Crocs have gone up into the closet with the camping gear, awaiting next month when they can serve their duty in Manchester, Tennessee. I may have succumbed to the Crocs phenomenon, but I haven’t sacrificed my sanity or sense of style in the process! So ladies, if you are heading into mud, muck and gunk this summer… then go ahead and get the proper footwear. However, this does not give you license to wear them to the grocery store, the gas station, the mall or gosh forbid, work. Have some self-respect and wear only items that flatter you. THIS INCLUDES SHOES. If you need comfortable shoes, companies like Aerosoles, Naturalizer, Easy Spirit, Born and Dansko that offer comfortable shoes in flattering styles. Do not suffer for style, be it with pain or with bad fashion!