Sorry I have been MIA, I feel as though I have been in a bit of a funk lately. I am still doing Weight Watchers, but I have not been good to myself. I have been lazy with tracking what I eat, haven’t been exercising.
This past week I missed my meeting and weigh-in because it was my husband’s birthday. Unfortunately we didn’t do anything exciting and glamorous – we found out that the house is leaking where the new part connects to the old part. My husband spent his birthday dealing with a toddler who loves the word NO and hates naps, while having the Co-op folks and our contractor track mud all over the house while looking at bubbling paint and a very full drain pan below our A/C unit (guess should be happy the leak went into that pan and not say the wood flooring). By time I got home, he only wanted to finish his beer and go to bed and enjoy silence.
The week before, I went. And I removed. I had gained 1.8 over the previous two weeks and at this meeting I learned I removed 1.6. So almost back down to where I was. I think I have removed more since then but don’t know because I didn’t go to my meeting.
I know I could have removed more if I was more… motivated. I just feel so darn DONE. Work has been so hectic, the commute sucks all the more when the weather is icky (it has been raining a LOT the past two weeks), Emerson is at an age where she needs to be entertained and wants to play and is curious. As soon as I get home it’s like I take off my shoes, wash my hands, nurse E and immediately we’re playing or going to a playground and then feeding and giving a bath and fighting bedtime and books and singing and dancing and… it’s all incredibly fun but not when I am working in very little sleep and brain fry from work. Then add how my husband has had a few photo shoots lately so it’s early mornings, late nights, lots of “ships passing in the night” sort of life, and juggling everything.
I want to exercise. I want to have something like a class that is just for me. Once a week, where I meet with other women and we work out together and motivate one another. But I just don’t know where to fit it in to my life. The only night where my husband and I are in the house at the same time before 8:00pm is Wednesday nights and I don’t want to lose that precious evening with the family. If it was on a weekend, I would need to find some babysitting because of my husband’s classes and shoots on those days. I started some videos in the morning, but when I have to get up at 4:30am just to get to work on time the days we have big events, well the idea of waking up any earlier than that makes me want to vomit. I feel as though I am chock full of excuses, but I really have not figured out how to fit regular exercise into my life.
This weekend was full of things that were not WW-friendly. Friday I was completely brain fried from a really crazy week, and we didn’t properly celebrate my husband’s birthday so we went out to dinner. I was good with my choices – water and grilled flounder with edamame and brown rice. However it just didn’t taste good – it’s so much better to dine at home when you are trying to eat well because you have the ability to add flavor without butter and salt. Restaurants don’t really know how to do that all the time. So when neighbors brought over carrot cake cupcakes that evening I ended up consuming one and a half of them in about 30 seconds flat.
The next morning was hectic and breakfast ended up being another cupcake and lukewarm coffee. We then went to my husband’s cousin’s house for her son’s birthday where I ate a hot dog and three jalapeno poppers and a bite of another cupcake. That night my husband and I were both craving Thanksgiving so I roasted my first whole chicken in almost a decade and served it with gravy made from pan drippings, mashed potatoes and green beans. It was fantastic. I didn’t eat the skin, I didn’t go bonkers with the gravy, but I did indulge and it was quite an experience.
Sunday’s breakfast was as bad as Saturday’s – a brownie and coffee. I was going to a baby shower and offered to bake brownies. I consumed all the brownie stuff left in the pan after removing them for transit. Then once I was at the shower I threw points out the window. I had several glasses of champagne punch, Caesar salad, artichoke and goat cheese strata, two biscuits with ham and mustard and half of a blueberry muffin. I got home and in my buzzed state ate half of the leftover mashed potatoes with about a quarter of a cup of gravy and passed out in front of the TV.
Today I have been more on track – breakfast was a bagel thin with Eggbeaters and a slice of real cheddar paired with coffee with 1 point of cream. Lunch was a Weight Watchers meal of 6 points, and snacks have been a banana and another cup of coffee. So nothing horrible, but I still feel like a slacker. Maybe it’s the rain, maybe it’s a desperate need for a vacation, maybe it’s the long hours stuck in an office with the window to my back and two monitors facing me, zapping my soul. Whatever it is, I hope to get out of this funk soon. My body deserves better!