Funeral Dresses for Women in Midlife: Every Size, Style, and Situation

In your 20s, you attend a lot of weddings for friends. In your 30s, it's a mix of weddings and funerals for grandparents. Your 40s slow down with both, but when you get into your 50s, the funerals ramp up for parents and the occasional elder sibling or spouse. Later in the decade, the weddings return, this time for the children of your friends. But today, let's talk about being ready for the next funeral you attend in midlife.

I know that first paragraph is blunt, but it's true. Recently, as I sat at the second funeral of the season chatting with friends about the failing health of a friend's parent and how another friend wasn't there because just a month prior, their parent died and had the funeral in the same venue… I realized we're the age where we need at least one at the ready funeral outfit.

What to Wear to a Funeral

When you're in mourning and also trying to plan a memorial service, or you're busy caring for loved ones who are dealing with grief and planning a funeral, or you're just frantically trying to keep all the balls of everyday life in the air and realize in three days you're attending a funeral for a relative and need not only plane tickets but something to wear… it's nice to have already in your closet something ready to wear. Let's make that happen, and make it something you can reach for time and time again without a lot of stress or thought.

Do You Have to Wear Black to a Funeral?

One does not need to wear black to a funeral. For my mother's memorial service, I wore a floral dress. For my father's, a rich chocolate brown. However, the outfit should be a somber color (unless otherwise directed). Navy, plum, teal, forest green, chocolate brown, gray, and subtle prints in darker colors are all completely appropriate for most funerals, wakes, memorial services, celebrations of life, and repasts.

Consider Coverage

Different houses of worship have different guidelines for how much skin to cover. A safe bet is choosing something that covers the shoulders, the back, most cleavage, and at least hits the knee. Some houses of worship prefer women to wear skirts in place of pants, some desire headcoverings, some require more skin coverage. If unsure, it's okay to ask a family member. You can also tuck a shawl or cardigan in your bag to have just in case.

Shoes for a Funeral

Your shoes should go with your outfit, but when choosing shoes for a funeral, consider the kind of event and the season. Is it a memorial service at a funeral home and then a repast at the family home? Or is it a funeral at the house of worship and then all head to the gravesite? Do you need to walk a distance or stand for a span of time? Will it be rainy, or muddy, or hot and sweaty?

A pair of comfortable black flats is a safe bet for most any situation. Black will work with any dark color outfit, is easy to polish up between wears, and won't steal the spotlight from your outfit. For winter, a pair of tall boots keeps you warm while making it so you don't have to worry about hosiery.

Speaking of hosiery, if you wish to wear it, a sheer option that is virtually invisible is back in style, as is a sheer black. You can also choose a more opaque version for fall and winter. I would not choose a printed or textured tight or hose for a funeral, but you know the family and loved ones best.

Funeral Dresses for Women in Midlife

The best is a travel-friendly dress with stretch that doesn't cling, doesn't need fancy undergarments, and can work with comfortable shoes that won't sink into soil or sand. Even better if it's machine washable.

Timeless Funeral Dresses You Can Wear for Multiple Seasons & Multiple Years

I am all about a one and done dress. You know where it is in the closet, you already know what shoes work with it, what underpinnings, maybe even what accessories and coat. Unless it's a more personal and emotional service and the dress may have memories associated with it, having a timeless funeral dress makes these situations easier. This is not being boring, this is being stylish and smart.

Shop the Collage
Top row, left to right: one (XS-XL: link to plus sizes) | two (XS-4X) | three (XS-3X) | four (14-32) | five (14-24)
Bottom row, left to right: one (XS-XL; link to plus sizes) | two (00-40) | three (0-14) | four (14-32) | five (4-16)

Buy once, wear for years, and if you choose the right fabrics and style, you may be able to wear almost all year long. In summer, style with sandals or ballet flats. In winter, block heel low pumps or boots.

Travel-friendly Funeral Dresses

Quickly packing for a flight or long drive to a funeral is not the time when you want to worry about a garment steamer or travel iron, or be screwed if you don't fold and roll with the utmost care. These dresses will still look presentable if shoved into a carryon in the 11th hour and don't need to be dry-cleaned.

Shop the Collage
Top row, left to right: one (2-16) | two (2-24 & petite/plus petite) | three (XS-3X & petite) | four (10/12-30/32) | five (2-14)
Bottom row, left to right: one (XS-4X & petite/tall) | two (XS-3X & petite) | three (1X-3X) | four (XS-3X) | five (0/2-20/22)

Funeral Dresses with Two-Day Shipping (Or Faster)

Yes, you can go to Amazon; I am usually against using this company but in a time of need, it can be handy and have a list of funeral dresses I made before on my storefront. However, all these dresses below are available with two-day shipping or less. Some may require additional shipping costs, but all have reasonable return policies. Some also offer store pickup to expedite the process even further.

Shop the Collage
Top row, left to right: one (0-14) | two (0-14) | three (XS-4XL) | four (XXS-XXXL) | five (XS-XL)
Bottom row, left to right: one (0-18) | two (0X-3X) | three (0X-3X) | four (XS-L) | five (XXS-XL)

Funeral Dresses for Work-Related Situations

You're attending a funeral and then heading straight to the office or client site, or maybe it's the memorial service for an employee or colleague. These are dresses that look respectful and professional.

Shop the Collage:
Top row, left to right: one (14-24) | two (XS-XL) | three (2-14 & petite) | four (00-20; ALISON15 for 15% off) | five (14-32)
Bottom row, left to right: one (12/14-28/30) | two (2P-26P & misses) | three (XS-XL) | four (00-40) | five (00-18 & petite

Sustainable & Ethical Funeral Dresses

You don't need to sacrifice your ethics to dress for respect at a funeral. These dresses are all from sustainable and ethical companies, and most are from natural breathable fibers, also making them great for summer funerals and funerals in tropical climates.

Shop the Collage
Top row, left to right: one (S-XXL) | two (XS-2XL) | three (XS-XL) | four (XS-2XL) | five (XS-XXL)
Bottom row, left to right: one (XS-XL) | two (XS-3X) | three (XS-1X & petite) | four (XXS-3X) | five (S-XXL)

Alternatives to Funeral Dresses

One does not need to wear a dress to a funeral if one doesn't want to. However, you want your attire to be the same level of formality as a dress one would wear to work or a house of worship. Some options:

• A fine-knit sweater (merino, silk blend, acrylic blend, pima cotton) with a pair of ponte wide-leg trousers. The sweater can be crew neck, v-neck, turtleneck, surplice, or even a twinset. For shoes, loafers or flats are a comfortable option that can also handle if you are walking in a cemetery. An alternative if you are doing a lot of walking or have foot issues is a black leather or suede sneaker with a black sole and black details.
• A suit. Suits are always appropriate for funerals, whether it is with pants, a skirt, or a dress. Make sure the base layer works well on its own in case it's warm outside or in the building.
• A blouse with trousers. The pants should not be too tight and of a fabric that looks more dressy (triacetate or crepe instead of twill or chino). the blouse should be of a drapey fabric with not too low of a neckline. If the blouse is even a hint of being sheer wear a camisole in a dark color underneath. Loafers, flats, elevated tonal sneakers, and ankle boots are all smart shoe choices.
• A matched set. A button-front shirt or blouse with full-length or slightly cropped pants in the same fabric are a good choice. The fabric should have some drape. If the fabric is drapey, a sleeker shoe like a flat or leather sandals are a good choice.