What I Wore to an Embassy Gala

Living 10 miles outside of Washington, D.C. I have been able to experience a lot of very cool events. One is attending events at embassies. Yes, regular people can attend embassy events, and many of these events are black tie affairs. I went to one recently and wanted to share what I wore to a embassy gala.

How I Found an Embassy Gala to Attend

My best friend wanted to attend a fancy event for her birthday; looking for black tie occasions in the D.C. area, I visited Things to Do, a site that shares local events. Geared towards young professionals, I've learned over the years that folks of all ages attend these events; the site just focuses its marketing (and photos from the events) on the under-35 crowd. These events are not necessarily run by Things to Do, and are often also promoted on other sites and by the venues themselves. However, Things to Do DC has one of the best organized sites so it's a good resource for folks of all ages, especially if you wish to attend an embassy event.

Things to Do DC organizes its schedule into categories; you can choose Embassies and Culture; you can also choose Black Tie Events and you will find a lot of the two categories overlap.

Looking for a black tie occasion for the end of the year, I found the annual Roman Holiday gala at the Italian Embassy. There were three tiers of tickets: VIP which included dinner, standard, and a late night option. We chose VIP; if I attended another embassy gala in the future I would go with the standard ticket and instead enjoy a nice meal at a restaurant.

How I Decided What to Wear to an Embassy Gala

The site and the email confirmations provided dress code advice: “Black Tie Optional / Preferred. Preferred: tuxedos, gowns, cocktail dresses. Minimum for men: suit and tie, Casual attire (jeans, t-shirts, etc.) is not permitted and may result in denial of entry.” The email also provided a link to the Facebook album from the previous year's event. I always recommend searching the name of an event and checking out the search engine images for guidance on dress code for an occasion; Facebook is also a great resource.

Looking at the photos, I saw that not everyone understood what black tie attire was, but also that there was a lot of fun, color, and sparkle as it is a holiday-themed embassy gala. I felt confident wearing a dress I already owned, an orange silk one-shouldered gown custom made from Pari Passu, a now-shuttered plus size fashion brand.

While I got this dress well over a year ago, the only other occasion I have worn it was for our wedding anniversary this summer. We didn't go to a restaurant fancy enough to warrant it, but the dress so deserved an occasion. That time, I dressed it down by tucking the sleeve under my arm and styling it with a raffia bag and Birkenstock sandals. For this embassy gala, I could truly let it shine.

I know not everyone has an evening gown in their closet and I don't believe in spending a lot of money for a one-time occasion.

• Many use Rent the Runway for such events. I think Rent the Runway is a great option… if you are a standard height and clothing size. If you don't struggle to have off the rack clothing fit, this is a sustainable and reasonably priced way to dress for an embassy gala or other formal occasion.
• Another option is to go thrifting. Nothing gets donated more than formalwear. These days, many bridesmaids dresses are as chic as department store evening gowns, and vintage fashion from Y2K and any decade prior is chic. I met many women at this embassy gala who when I complimented their dress, they admitted they found it thrifting or on an online resale site.

As a 50-year-old woman in a monogamous relationship, I am not dressing to attract others, and I am no longer sacrificing my comfort and self for the male gaze. You know who I am dressing for? The younger generations to show getting older can be pretty effing awesome. So I decided to bring it.

I got a pair of fuschia suede strappy heels from Vince Camuto several years ago and they continue to be a favorite. The suede is soft and the shoe has molded to the shape of my foot. The heel is well designed and solid enough that I can comfortably wear these shoes for a few hours.

When J. Crew offered a feather-trimmed satin purse in almost the same exact color, I purchased it knowing this would be a paired set and the perfect pop of color with so many outfits. I wore them both before with red for Scarlet Night on my VirginVoyages cruise, and I have worn both with this navy satin pantsuit and this tan satin pantsuit. I loved the idea of this bold pink with the bold orange of my gown.

When I had to start wearing glasses after my retina surgery, I bought a high-quality everyday pair (these Prada frames), but also explored some of the budget-friendly companies for fun options. I got these orange frames from Zeelool and honestly, I feel ridiculous in them… most of the time. But I wore them on my VirginVoyages cruise with a different orange dress and they felt like jewelry so I tried them for the embassy gala outfit and loved the effect. And with such glasses, I didn't feel I had to go hard with makeup or hair.

Hair, I just let it do its everyday thing of soft curls. For makeup, I didn't go hard with the eyes and instead did a bold lip. NARS lip pencil in Dragon Girl over the whole lip with Mally Beauty gloss in Boss Babe (no longer available; I also own this in Orangesicle and it's very similar) over it . The combo offered an orangey/pinky/red color that didn't match anything but complemented the outfit. To keep my makeup going all night, I set it with L'Oreal Infallible 3-Second Setting Mist Spray.

For jewelry, I felt sparkly would be too over the top with such bold color. I considered no jewelry but last minute tried and liked the effect of my yellow Swarovski Lucent hoops. I was already wearing a gold band that belonged to my dad, and added to my pointer finger a gold costume cocktail ring with a yellow stone that I have had for decades. My nails were already red for the season, and since my toes were exposed I painted them the same red color.

For a coat, I brought my multicolored faux fur from ASOS that I've had for many years. However, we ended up scoring a parking space very close to the embassy and decided to leave our coats in the car instead of dealing with the coat check. Above is a picture from 2018 in the coat; it's a good example that you don't need something to be basic or neutral to be timeless. Shop my picks of fab faux fur coats for grown women on ShopMy.

In fact, what I wore to an embassy gala is a study in statement pieces being investment pieces. Nothing I wore is basic or neutral, everything is at least a year old (the shoes are over a decade old, one ring is from the 90s and the other from the 60s), but everything has been worn many times.

I had the dress designed imagining the multiple ways it could be worn, and realizing it could be worn without compression garments or heels. While lined, it's not too complicated a design to hem it shorter and/or shorten the one shoulder to accommodate different shoes or a changing body. It's a fabric that can be worn most any time of the year, and the color isn't associated with a specific holiday or time of year. I expect to wear it even more in the future.

There is no point in shopping for a life you don't regularly have. If you aren't one to attend events like an embassy gala on the regular, I highly recommend renting, thrifting, and crowdsourcing your friends and neighbors (Buy Nothing and B/S/T groups on Facebook are wonderful). As long as you follow the guidelines for black tie dress code for women, you will fit in and can focus on having a fun evening.