You Can Go Your Own Way

Did you ever love a book until you read a dozen negative reviews on Amazon? You started seeing what those other people saw in the novel, and then started agreeing with them. You saw their point, and maybe you were too quick to fall in love.

Sometimes it happens the other way. Often times in fashion I see a trend and swear I will NEVER wear it and six months later it’s in my closet. It looked hideous on the runway, looked hideous on that A-lister, but after seeing a couple bloggers and B-listers in it, the darn thing grew on me.

Sometimes getting the opinions of others can help greatly. It may give you more insight into a book, a speech, a work of art, even a pair of boots. And sometimes your true feelings get lost in the masses. Try as you might, it’s easy to get caught up in a mob mentality and agree with others even if you have some doubt in your gut.

A stylish woman doesn’t doubt her gut. She knows herself and knows what she feels, what she knows, what she loves. She may learn from others’ experiences, but meditates on new information and decides how it can improve or deepen herself and her own beliefs. She doesn’t fall for the mob mentality.

The blogosphere is a tough place to be an individual. People will judge your post or your comment before they even finish reading the first sentence. Everyone has a strong opinion, and that opinion is even more strong when the person can be anonymous. The same holds true for all the news sites where folks go bonkers in the comments, missing the point of the article and immediately launching into their personal beliefs. Even in everyday society we get caught in the mass hype, be it what salad chain we go to at lunch, what TV show we watch after work, where we drink our coffee.

There’s nothing wrong with liking what the masses like… as long as you honestly do like it. There’s nothing wrong with disliking what the masses dislike… again if you honestly believe it. Following with the crowd is what girls do in high school, not what grown women do in adulthood.

You’ve earned the right to think for yourself. You are an adult – you pay your own way, you live your own life, you created that brain full of facts and figures and the right amount of frivolity. Your opinion isn’t any less important than others. So believe in yourself, and your opinion. Trust your gut, and have the confidence to go your own way. And when you encounter grown-ass women acting like bullies… call them out. They have a right to their opinion, they have a right to share their opinion, but no one has the right to tell you what to believe, what to like, what to hate, what to wear, and who to be.

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19 Comments

  1. Karen
    October 25, 2012 / 10:44 am

    ….*printing the last paragraph and pinning to cubicle wall*…..

  2. Lorena Lorena
    October 25, 2012 / 10:35 am

    Its a funny thing… just like you i will swear i will not wear something and then i fall for it.
    I think sometimes the “eye” has to get use to it. It happens to me with color combinations too, Vintage combos i’d laugh at while growing up are now favorites.

  3. Kt
    October 24, 2012 / 5:37 pm

    usually a lurker, but loved loved this post. thanks.

  4. October 23, 2012 / 3:45 pm

    as always, so very well written!

  5. Thrift store mama
    October 22, 2012 / 10:11 pm

    I often find that the h8ers are often really upset by something in their own lives, bless their hearts. But it does get tiring, all the same . . .

  6. October 22, 2012 / 8:57 am

    We all need to hear this… often.And I like the Twilight books, damn it. And 50 Shades. And other “horrendously” written stories that give me a brain break. I dislike UGG boots look but still want a pair for the comfort but I hate them with shorts/skirts. I support BHO in a Republican town/county/state. I feel like my life is this.
    http://www.theopinionatedgirl.com

  7. October 21, 2012 / 2:32 am

    Love this perspective. Now I need to make it happen! Thanks

  8. October 20, 2012 / 10:15 pm

    This is so true, and I love the Fleetwood Mac reference. 🙂

  9. Danielle
    October 20, 2012 / 9:35 pm

    Ally you’re so awesome. Can we be friends??

    • Danielle
      October 20, 2012 / 9:37 pm

      Oh crap I spelled your name wrong… You are still awesome.

  10. Tara Incognita
    October 20, 2012 / 9:30 pm

    I needed to read this right now. Many thanks-

  11. raqskie
    October 20, 2012 / 8:23 pm

    Thanks Allie! Now I need to remember what my own way is.

  12. October 20, 2012 / 7:57 pm

    Skinny jeans grew on me. I hated them at first, thought they looked ugly the next year, decided they were ok on very slim women the next, and finally tried on a pair a good five years after they first appeared in the stores. Sometimes it just takes a while for me to accept a look as benign”me”. But i do agree with your point that we often know what we love right away, and shouldn’t apologize for our personal taste. It’s what makes us who we are.

  13. October 20, 2012 / 10:44 am

    lovely . . . half of what draws me, and others, to your sense of style is this sentiment shining through you – and your blog 🙂

  14. October 20, 2012 / 10:28 am

    So well put! I was just chatting at a party last night about how I love your point of view, once again I am always impressed and inspired!

  15. elena
    October 20, 2012 / 10:18 am

    Love this post and I believe in what you’re saying! Hope you are not being ripped for the Karen Kane vest as I thought it looked great on you. I clicked on the link to the vest & the biggest size left is XL in regular size which might be too small for me, I’m an 18 right now in Lane Bryant and their sizing is pretty generous.

    • October 20, 2012 / 10:22 am

      Nope, no heat for the vest, this was actually inspired by a mob mentality I experienced regarding something not connected to me but made me think of other experiences 🙂

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