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Scenes from a Friday night…

We started at @littleblackbirddc a new wine bar in Cleveland Park where we had great food, drink, and conversation into the evening. We then headed down the street to @atomicbilliards for a whole different experience and to keep the conversation going. I treasure my friendships with @sylviacolella (who had a birthday recently), @districtofchic, and @blonde_inthedistrict they’re the real deal 🥰

My dress is @adamlippes borrowed via @renttherunway and Cheetos with Sauvignon Blanc is a really fun pairing!
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Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jnDf #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style
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If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle
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For years I’ve trusted @somaintimates for the right bras and the right fit but it had been a while since I visited a Soma boutique to try on all the styles they currently have for a large bust. I must say I was impressed! Knowledgeable staff, extensive collection in larger sizes, and some of the most comfortable and innovative bras in up to H cups! Each body is different but what I loved:

- The Stunning Push-Up: targeted for the DD+ customer gives amazing lift and great shape under fitted knits.

- The Unbelievable Lift Scoop Balconette: sexy, supportive, and so lightweight!

- The Embraceable Wireless: I’ve recommended this wireless bra for large busts for years and was in need for a new one! 

- The Stunning Support Smooth Balconette: this is the perfect t-shirt bra for large busts with padded straps and disappears under knits

- The Stunning Starlet Multi-Way Strapless: recently improved for more support and more comfort, this wireless bra stays put and gives fab shape

I also picked up some of Soma’s iconic Vanishing Edge panties which keep you line-free. The whole Vanishing collection is genius. I loved being able to donate my gently used bras at my local Soma boutique to give to those in need. We all deserve a lift and Soma strives to achieve that. It’s why I’ve been a fan and customer for years and am honored to partner with them. Soma is the perfect fitting bra solution. Visit the link in my bio to shop and to find your local Soma boutique! #SomaPartner #SomaBraFit #SomaStartsWithMe
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If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle
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It was so funny and so quick I couldn’t not share! I bought this @hulkenbag a year ago and use it all the time. Carting shoot supplies, groceries, packing for road trips, and carting donations. This weekend @thenewdealcafe in @cityofgreenbelt hosted a community clothing swap so I made sure my family and I went through our summer wardrobes to gather that which we no longer needed or fit.

This wasn’t the first clothing swap and folks in town know my style (and my job) so there were some waiting for my arrival. Look how fast I cleared out this big bag! Speaking of the bag one other swap attendee said she got herself a Hulken after seeing mine in action!

It’s so great to know our old clothes are getting a good life and this bag makes carting them to the cafe so easy! I got my Hulken on Amazon, it comes in other colors and sizes too: https://amzn.to/48iTY4Y yep the bag is as great as all those ads you see on social media, I’m a big fan!
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I had to see… I asked my husband how often he thinks about the Roman Empire, and then asked our 14-year-old 😂
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#ad Go through my archives on Wardrobe Oxygen and one thing is clear: my family and I are a fan of @bombas socks! From their no-slip no-show socks to their iconic crew socks, Bombas makes great socks for the whole family while having a great heart.

Socks are the #1 requested article of clothing from homeless shelters. For every item purchase from Bombas, one is donated to someone experiencing homelessness. 

Save 20% on your first purchase at Bombas with my exclusive promo code: WARDROBE20

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4ipHy #bombas
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Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️
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Lifestyle, Perimenopause · April 24, 2023

What’s the Difference Between Not Giving a Sh*t and Having No F*cks Left to Give?

This article may contain affiliate links; if you click on a shopping link and make a purchase I may receive a commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. 

maria no fucks

Not giving a shit and having no fucks left to give. Two popular phrases, and two phrases that have likely been uttered more since 2020 than in the entire existence of the English language.

We often use these terms interchangeably. You're over it, you don't give a shit, you don't have any fucks to give on the matter. But these two phrases actually have two different meanings and the nuance is important.

Guess it's a little late in the piece to warn you that swear words will be used. But I figure you’re a grown-ass woman, you’re not only old enough for such words, but you’ve also lived such life experiences where such a foul word was the only appropriate thing to utter.

We, my friends, are of an age where we have earned the right to swear and the maturity to choose whether or not to use it. And that choice leads us right into the difference between not giving a shit and having no fucks left to give.

The difference between not giving a shit and having no fucks to give is another four-letter word.

Care.

Not having fucks left to give is when you stop caring what others think.

Not giving a shit is when you stop caring.

See the difference?

It’s easy to stop giving a shit, especially this year. What’s the point, who is going to see us? Who cares?

Not giving a shit can be freeing… at first.

But what you find is that when you stop giving a shit, you stop giving a shit about yourself. You don't care about the opinion of others but also stop caring about your own.

When you have no more fucks to give, you stop living life for others. But you’re still living. In fact, you’re thriving. By running out of fucks for others you’ve found you have fucks to give for your own happiness.

When you don’t give a shit your hair goes gray because what’s the point of coloring it? No one cares what you look like. You have nowhere to go. No one will notice. It doesn't matter. You have no one to impress.

When you have run out of fucks, you go gray because you choose to. You make this decision for yourself, whether or not others will see it.

When you don’t give a shit you may stop buying new clothes. Who cares? You live alone, or your household also doesn’t give a shit what you wear. It doesn’t matter, so why spend on it? It kind of just happens.

When you stop giving a fuck and stop buying new clothes? You're making a decision. It may be a financial decision or an emotional one. Maybe it's because you care about the environment or labor practices or maybe you're challenging yourself in some manner. The difference is that you care enough to decide.

These two perspectives on these two different acts will look the same on the outside. That person will still be walking down the street with roots down to their earlobes in a faded sweater. The difference, and what truly matters, is self-care.  And self-care is damn stylish.

Style isn't what you wear, it's how you wear it. It's how you walk into a room, or how you choose to not even enter the room at all. It's how you merge what's inside with how you appear. It's not about appealing to others, but appealing to yourself.

They often say the most stylish thing you can wear is confidence, but confidence can be false. That’s something you learn when you become a grown-ass woman. You can likely recall those times you felt confident AF but in fact, you were running on fury, or on vodka, on power, on fear, and often on fumes. With those life experiences that justify four-letter words, you begin to learn that the most stylish thing is not confidence but self-care.

Self-care isn’t bubble baths and bottles of wine. Self-care is making yourself a high priority. It’s remembering the oxygen mask theory: you can’t help others if you don’t first help yourself. Self-care is taking the time to understand your body, even if you two never become friends. It's learning who you are, where you are, and what you're doing, and if you don't like what you find out, changing the story. It’s giving fewer fucks about others and deciding to use that time and energy for the person who truly deserves it – yourself.

It’s easy to slide from running out of fucks to not giving a shit. It’s like a friendship or relationship, such a way of life requires attention and it requires care.

A person who has no fucks left to give is in fact, a very caring person. It's just a person who doesn't waste their time on what doesn't matter.

In December 2017 I quit my job in Corporate America to focus on blogging full-time. When sharing that news here on Wardrobe Oxygen, I wrote this piece and within it, this paragraph:

Quitting is active, giving up is passive. When you quit something, you make a decision, you initiate change. They say quitters never win, but I disagree. Those who give up never win, but those who decide to quit what is unhealthy or unproductive are winners.

Quitting vs. Giving Up, December 2017

Not giving a shit is passive, running out of fucks to give is active. When you run out of fucks, you make a decision, and just like quitting something, you are initiating change. And just like quitting what is unhealthy or unproductive makes you a winner, running out of fucks makes you care about what is most important, and that is stylish.

This year had me questioning a lot. I questioned my purpose, my job, my value, my actions, my beliefs, my shopping habits, my past, my priorities, and my personal style. I went through highs and lows of not giving a shit to not giving a fuck to caring too much about what doesn't matter to finding small moments of it all aligning and finding growth and self-care.

I think many can relate to this. And I think that when you look at what life has thrown our way the past few years, how we've handled it has a lot to do with care. Caring for others, caring for the environment, caring about the future, caring about ourselves. Caring is stylish, and caring prevents one from not giving a shit.

Here's to having no fucks to give but still giving a shit.  Here's to wearing what makes you feel authentic, knowing that's a hell of a lot more stylish than what any magazine or website tells you is a must for the season. Here's to not having it all figured out and possibly questioning even more after the past few years. And here's to looking forward to the journey toward the bliss of having no fucks left to give and doing it in style.

I'm honored that since writing this piece, it has inspired many such as this podcast episode and Meaghan B. Murphy, the Editor in Chief of Woman's Day!

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In: Lifestyle, Perimenopause

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Comments

  1. Mandy Bunn says

    March 15, 2023 at 1:24 pm

    Not sure how I stumbled across this, but ‘YES, YES, YES!’
    I realise I do give a shit even when I say I don’t because I care too much about everything, but, having ‘no more fucks to give’ is the thing!!!!
    Thank you for clarifying for me .

    This is now my new mantra to live by xxx

    Reply
  2. Barbara says

    December 28, 2022 at 4:48 pm

    Such a great post! Well done. I actually wrote one of my holiday haikus this year to include “zero fucks to give.” It was one of the more popular ones! (I post a haiku a day on Instagram, including holiday-themed ones.)

    Reply
  3. Roberta says

    December 23, 2022 at 12:53 pm

    Alison I love it when you give us these free flowing thoughts. You describe perfectly where I am in life! Never ever stop sharing your thoughts with us. “Does this make me a better person?” YES – your blog makes me a much better self aware person!

    Reply
  4. Cynthia Louise Grose says

    May 15, 2022 at 3:23 pm

    Love this, sitting here working on a Sunday, and had to Google this.
    Resigned 6 weeks ago and I definitely have no fucks left to give.

    Reply
  5. Shelbee on the Edge says

    December 22, 2020 at 6:28 am

    This is a brilliant message! And the difference between the two phrases is now abundantly clear! I definitely ran out of fucks a long, long time ago. But I also have felt myself not giving a shit this past year and you are so right, that is an unhealthy approach! And I totally agree with you about quitting versus giving up. So well said!

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    Reply
  6. Karin says

    December 15, 2020 at 6:14 pm

    LOVE THIS and sharing it with all my people! Thank you Alison!

    Reply
  7. Kim says

    December 15, 2020 at 12:17 pm

    Ali: I have read you off and on for years, but in the last couple of years I have come to truly enjoy your words. I love the transformation you have gone through on this blog. I think as you have defined your true authentic voice you have really become an inspiration. I look forward to all of your new posts. Take good care and thanks for having no f*cks left to give.

    Reply
  8. Kim says

    December 15, 2020 at 11:54 am

    Echoing what many have already said here – this post is brilliant and just what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. Thank you so much Alison – you are truly what an Influencer in this day and age should be.

    Reply
  9. Alison French-Tubo says

    December 15, 2020 at 2:55 am

    Wow, such an important distinction!

    Reply
  10. Deb says

    December 14, 2020 at 7:38 pm

    Alison,
    I’ve followed you for years. And I mean YEARS. I found you thru “Get Rich Slowly”, so yes – it’s been a very long time.
    I absolutely LOVE this post and it hits home for me. It explains the difference perfectly and I will now bookmark this so that I may refer to it whenever I need to. Thank you, friend.

    Reply
  11. dmc says

    December 14, 2020 at 5:39 pm

    Perfect sentiment!

    Reply
  12. Tara McCrackin says

    December 14, 2020 at 5:10 pm

    Not giving a fuck means that we have care and respect for those decisions. Thanks for that reminder!

    Reply
  13. Colleen says

    December 14, 2020 at 3:55 pm

    Very timely! I shared this with the women who are important in my life!!! Thank you!!! Thank you!!! Thank you!!!

    Reply
  14. Teresa says

    December 14, 2020 at 3:16 pm

    LOVE!!!! Well said!

    Reply
  15. Terri says

    December 14, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    Thank you for this very timely and important post. My aha moment came when I was preparing a holiday card. I culled through all my photos and found what I thought was the best one to use…but I still critiqued my image. The first response I got to the card was “Look at all of those beautiful smiles!” I have too often been guilty of caring too much about what others think and miss enjoying the the moment. This interferes with me being my authentic self. I recognize my privilege, in stating that the shutdown actions surrounding the coronavirus have been a blessing, in that it has provided an opportunity for me to step back and reassess what is actually important to me.

    Reply
  16. SusieG says

    December 14, 2020 at 2:23 pm

    This is such a great post and so very you, Allie. Absolutely love it from top to bottom. And I’m sharing it with my daughter, who has picked up my swearing habits unsurprisingly. Because honestly? The sentiment is too damned important (swear intentional) to not share. Thanks, as always.

    Reply
  17. Cat says

    December 14, 2020 at 1:49 pm

    Not sure if you’ve heard the song, “I’ve No More F***s to Give!”, but it is an absolutely delight! I play it when I really need a pick me up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      December 16, 2020 at 9:33 am

      Another reader sent this to me before, it’s so fun!

      Reply
  18. Danielle says

    December 14, 2020 at 1:36 pm

    “When you don’t give a shit your hair goes gray because what’s the point of coloring it? No one cares what you look like. You have nowhere to go. No one will notice. It doesn’t matter. You have no one to impress.”

    This brings up one of my frequent rants. I utterly hate when people say (when I am not in a state I find presentable to the world), “Don’t worry about what you look like. No one will care.”

    I don’t give a fuck what other people think about me or how I look! I dress for ME, not for them, and I decide how I want to present myself in the world! It’s not their opinion that matters, it’s MINE!

    Reply
  19. Rachel says

    December 14, 2020 at 1:32 pm

    YASS

    Reply
  20. Allison says

    December 14, 2020 at 1:18 pm

    Right post at the right time! Thanks, Alison!

    Reply
  21. Judy Dempsey says

    December 14, 2020 at 12:16 pm

    Love it, perfect timing…thanks for being so bold and daring.

    Reply
  22. Bubu says

    December 14, 2020 at 11:46 am

    This is brilliant, wise, insightful, inspiring and entertaining to boot. And a great, easy way to check myself when I decide to do – or not do something – to make sure I’m doing it for the right reasons. Fabulous post- thank you.

    Reply
  23. RoseAG says

    December 14, 2020 at 11:45 am

    I can’t say that this was a distinction I’d ever really thought about, but I’m glad you did because now I know.
    It makes sense in the context of the various four letter words that you mention.
    I would note that I really like my gray hair, that’s about 2 years grown out, I’m glad I did that.

    Reply
  24. Jill P says

    December 14, 2020 at 11:44 am

    This is such good writing and there is so much here to ponder. I think my new mantra will be “I need to give a shit, but not give a fuck”. I love the distinction! Also the difference between giving up and quitting is so good. “Quit fine, just don’t give up.” As a widow and an only parent that needs to keep going in a crappy year, this is great. Thank you:-)

    Reply
  25. Susan L says

    December 14, 2020 at 11:02 am

    Ditto to what everyone else has said. I truly appreciate that writers like you can verbalize what I, and so many others, are feeling.

    Reply
  26. Anna Iber says

    December 14, 2020 at 10:53 am

    This is THE BEST POST EVER!! I adore you anyway but this post is just Fabulous! I am going to share it with all my friends.
    YOU ROCK GIRL!!!

    Reply
  27. Doxylover says

    December 14, 2020 at 10:53 am

    Alison, I can’t lie. I’ve never liked the F word, however, I absolutely love what you’ve written here. I love how real and honest you are. True words. Thank you. ❤️❤️

    Reply
  28. Tanvi Rastogi says

    December 14, 2020 at 10:00 am

    I LOVE this post!

    Reply
  29. Carla Kohmescher says

    December 14, 2020 at 9:13 am

    Best post ever – this is absolutely my new favorite. Thanks Alison – you are the best!

    Reply
  30. Krista says

    December 14, 2020 at 8:50 am

    Girl, I so needed this today. I’ve been taking crap from my extended family for not traveling for Christmas (hello pandemic!), for coloring my hair purple (having some fun while intentionally growing in my gray), and some other life choices (that impacts no one else in any way).

    Cheers to having no f*cks left to give. Because I do care, but I care about me more.

    Reply
  31. Linda B says

    December 14, 2020 at 8:45 am

    This post is probably the most brilliant thing you have ever written, Alison, and that is really saying something because I so admire your work. WOW. Your piece encapsulates so much about this year, and puts into perspective so many of the internal struggles and reactions that have arisen from the craziness of what is going on in the world. Your analysis is just completely brilliant, and so helpful. Some examples of these two dynamics from my life:

    Not having any more fucks to give: My last hair cut was March 3rd. I decided months ago that it was not worth the risk to get another one, and to just deal with whatever happened to my ever lengthening hair. In a few rare moments I have tired of the shagginess, but as it grows out, I love it more and more though it is a crazy mane at this point. My hair went from above the shoulder layers to way below the shoulders now; hasn’t been this long for decades. I ‘m pretty sure I”ll keep it long whenever it eventually feels safe to get a haircut. . . I have no fucks to give to anyone who thinks older women shouldn’t have long, wild hair.

    Not giving a shit: Way too many days I have thrown on blah, functional clothes because no one will see me but my husband, and he almost never notices/ cares about my creativity in dressing (not just now but ever.) I also have bought almost nothing new except a few very pedestrian, practical pieces like tees and sneakers and soft knit pants. (There is one healthy element in this–I am trying way harder to consume less, from an ethical point of view.) On the very occasional days I do give a shit and put together an ensemble that has some spark, I notice how different I feel. I need to do that more often, instead of defeating myself with who gives a shit!

    I appreciate you so much for the supportive and brilliant insights you constantly share, Alison!!!!!! They enrich my life and so many others. Thank you.

    Reply
  32. Mary O'Driscoll says

    December 14, 2020 at 8:38 am

    Thank you so much for this! I needed it badly on a rainy day after the weekend I’ve had. I truly have no more fucks to give and you have perfectly explained why.

    Reply
  33. Charlee says

    December 14, 2020 at 8:25 am

    Hear hear!

    Reply
  34. VikkiH says

    December 14, 2020 at 8:18 am

    Amen! As I am navigate being re-org’d out if what I thought was a dream job, I decided not to give a fuck. The job wasn’t the dream. My approach to how I was living while having the job was-able to prioritize myself after years of not doing so, using my knowledge in my field to my benefit and others. My “a-ha” moment came last week when feeling very down, I woke the fuck up and realized I was the dream. Amazing…that only took 49 years on the planet to figure out.

    Reply
  35. Julia says

    December 14, 2020 at 8:10 am

    I am about to negotiate a raise and this is what I needed. Thank you!

    Reply
  36. Jacqueline says

    December 14, 2020 at 7:03 am

    What a great read to start the week – thanks, Alison!

    Reply

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Since 2005, Wardrobe Oxygen has offered real-life style advice for grown-ass women. With years of experience as an apparel visual merchandiser and personal shopper, Alison Gary provides advice on how to achieve personal style no matter your age, size, or budget.

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Sep 26

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Scenes from a Friday night…

We started at @littleblackbirddc a new wine bar in Cleveland Park where we had great food, drink, and conversation into the evening. We then headed down the street to @atomicbilliards for a whole different experience and to keep the conversation going. I treasure my friendships with @sylviacolella (who had a birthday recently), @districtofchic, and @blonde_inthedistrict they’re the real deal 🥰

My dress is @adamlippes borrowed via @renttherunway and Cheetos with Sauvignon Blanc is a really fun pairing!

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Sep 23

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Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
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Sep 21

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If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
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Sep 19

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If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

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https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle

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Sep 11

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Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️

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Sep 8

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I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

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Sep 5

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I’ll be a bit quiet on here and other channels because I had eye (retinal) surgery this past weekend. I was having what I thought were ocular migraines but come to find out I was experiencing lattice degeneration, which is thinning/holes in the retina. I had surgery Saturday for my right eye and later on they’ll work on the left eye, which isn’t as bad and can be remedied by laser, in office.

I share not because I’m Mrs. Frizzle meets Iris Apfel as I recuperate at home, but because this whole thing has been a lesson on trusting my gut. And I want to remind you to do the same.

As we get older our bodies can feel like strangers. Things are constantly changing and it’s easy to just assume your annual physical will catch anything wrong. But if you slow down and listen to your body you’ll know when things are just a sign of aging and life and what seems unusual. That nagging issue may be something more serious.

And if you’re seeing flashing lights, floaters, spiderwebs or other odd eye things get checked out ASAP. It may be nothing but take it from me, it may actually be something. ❤️

Okay, going back to my big sunglasses caftan recuperation life!

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Aug 30

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Ladies who lunch…

While in Savannah, I made sure to get lunch reservations for me and E at @theoldepinkhouse she loves the color pink, historic homes, and ghost stories so it was a perfect choice! 

Built in 1789 on Reynolds Square, there are stories of guests seeing ghosts, cutlery and wine bottles moving along with an elegant and truly delicious dining. 

While we didn’t see any apparitions, we did have a lovely lunch with impeccable service and after toured all floors of the home. I highly recommend a visit if you’re visiting Savannah!

My dress is from @cosstores (no longer available); hat is @furtalk and bag is @talbotsofficial (no longer available).

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Aug 29

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Scenes from a week in Savannah… 

The three of us (and our dog Oscar!) had a warm and humid but wonderful time exploring Savannah, Georgia earlier this month. Our daughter visited this gorgeous city last summer with her @girlscouts troop but wanted to return to experience more. We let her choose our adventures and play your guide and it was awesome. We cannot wait to visit again, though next time it won’t be August 🥵

For more of our trip check the “Savannah” highlight on my profile page!

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Aug 28

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Stripes are always right…

Y’all know I love stripes and when @universalstandard came out with their Breton-stripe dresses and tops I HAD to try them! As expected, the quality is stellar, the fit boosts my confidence, and I appreciate the range of colors (5 different stripes to choose from) and sizes (00-50). For reference, I’m wearing XS but preferred S for the top and I usually wear a 14 or XL in other brands.

The tote is @able and it’s a soft yet durable leather that just looks better with time. This color (cognac) is one that transitions nicely from summer to fall. 

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#usinthewild #bretonstripes #midsizestyle #midsizefashion #size14 #over40style

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