Open
Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jnDf #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style
Open
If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle
Open
For years I’ve trusted @somaintimates for the right bras and the right fit but it had been a while since I visited a Soma boutique to try on all the styles they currently have for a large bust. I must say I was impressed! Knowledgeable staff, extensive collection in larger sizes, and some of the most comfortable and innovative bras in up to H cups! Each body is different but what I loved:

- The Stunning Push-Up: targeted for the DD+ customer gives amazing lift and great shape under fitted knits.

- The Unbelievable Lift Scoop Balconette: sexy, supportive, and so lightweight!

- The Embraceable Wireless: I’ve recommended this wireless bra for large busts for years and was in need for a new one! 

- The Stunning Support Smooth Balconette: this is the perfect t-shirt bra for large busts with padded straps and disappears under knits

- The Stunning Starlet Multi-Way Strapless: recently improved for more support and more comfort, this wireless bra stays put and gives fab shape

I also picked up some of Soma’s iconic Vanishing Edge panties which keep you line-free. The whole Vanishing collection is genius. I loved being able to donate my gently used bras at my local Soma boutique to give to those in need. We all deserve a lift and Soma strives to achieve that. It’s why I’ve been a fan and customer for years and am honored to partner with them. Soma is the perfect fitting bra solution. Visit the link in my bio to shop and to find your local Soma boutique! #SomaPartner #SomaBraFit #SomaStartsWithMe
Open
If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle
Open
It was so funny and so quick I couldn’t not share! I bought this @hulkenbag a year ago and use it all the time. Carting shoot supplies, groceries, packing for road trips, and carting donations. This weekend @thenewdealcafe in @cityofgreenbelt hosted a community clothing swap so I made sure my family and I went through our summer wardrobes to gather that which we no longer needed or fit.

This wasn’t the first clothing swap and folks in town know my style (and my job) so there were some waiting for my arrival. Look how fast I cleared out this big bag! Speaking of the bag one other swap attendee said she got herself a Hulken after seeing mine in action!

It’s so great to know our old clothes are getting a good life and this bag makes carting them to the cafe so easy! I got my Hulken on Amazon, it comes in other colors and sizes too: https://amzn.to/48iTY4Y yep the bag is as great as all those ads you see on social media, I’m a big fan!
Open
I had to see… I asked my husband how often he thinks about the Roman Empire, and then asked our 14-year-old 😂
Open
#ad Go through my archives on Wardrobe Oxygen and one thing is clear: my family and I are a fan of @bombas socks! From their no-slip no-show socks to their iconic crew socks, Bombas makes great socks for the whole family while having a great heart.

Socks are the #1 requested article of clothing from homeless shelters. For every item purchase from Bombas, one is donated to someone experiencing homelessness. 

Save 20% on your first purchase at Bombas with my exclusive promo code: WARDROBE20

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4ipHy #bombas
Open
Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️
Open
I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4idXm
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    • The Business of Blogging

The Business of Blogging · November 14, 2015

Balance

This article may contain affiliate links; if you click on a shopping link and make a purchase I may receive a commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. 

Tuesday I met a friend for coffee. It wasn’t any friend, it was someone I felt I knew, I admired, I kinda girlcrushed on, but had never met in person. I’ve “known” Winona since around 2006 when I came across her fashion blog. We non-fashion insider fashion blogs were a new-fangled thing back then, and we created our own little community. Though she stopped blogging many years ago, thanks to social media we have kept in touch and I have been able to see how she took her love of writing and make it into a career. She also dropped her expected typical existence and moved cross-country with her boyfriend to start new. And made it. On her terms.

She was in town for just a few days; the stars aligned and we had an hour where we were both available. We met at a bookstore/café a few blocks from my office and near a Metro stop. I didn’t care about what or who I or she was wearing, it was raining, we hugged, we got coffee, and we never stopped talking for that hour. Conversation was easy because thanks to the internet, we already knew a lot about each other, we could fill in the gaps, we didn’t have to share a ton of backstory to get to a point.

When I got back to the office, I was on a boring conference call and started scrolling through my very first blog (now locked down and hidden). The one before Wardrobe Oxygen and its various iterations. The one where I had a pseudonym, where I blogged about my dreams and dinners in pink font on a black background. Where I lived on the internet when I met Winona as well as Kristine, Candi and Catie, Elena and Fi, and many other amazing people with whom I shared deep thoughts, not so deep thoughts that we thought were deep, what we ate, what we saw, and often what we wore.

Winona and I talked about our love for the internet, but also the struggles with writing for a 2015 audience. How you want to be honest and raw, but how the commenters are there just waiting for your post to tear it apart. How it feels weird to try to think of the most raw or shocking thing about yourself for pageviews, clickbait, advertising dollars. I looked at my old blog that afternoon and cringed at so many things I said and was glad I shut down the blog many years ago. I was raw, I was honest, I put it out there, but those cringe-worthy moments almost a decade ago were met with comments from complete strangers who could relate, celebrated my honesty, were gentle with their advice and constructive feedback, who laughed with me instead of at me.

I came across a post on the old blog where I discussed paranoia the deep destroyer. Yep, quoting the Kinks then and now. I wrote about how I have held myself back and hurt relationships because of assuming the worst. People were talking about me, people didn’t like me, people were trying to have me fail. I remember writing that, remembering how cathartic it was. The world doesn’t care so much about me to try to destroy me. It’s all in my mind, I am only a speck of sand.

I regularly used the mantra, “I am a speck of sand” when I would feel the fears welling up, worrying about what people thought of me, assuming the worst. Even as my blog grew, I still knew I was a speck of sand. There are millions of blogs out there, millions who are bigger, more famous than mine. I am only a speck of sand and all that matters is that little bit of beach (or corner of someone’s shoe) where I reside. To some, I am nothing, I am invisible. But if I end up in your eye, or connect with fellow specks of sand to be more visible, I can make impact. This concept served me well and kept the deep destroyer from destroying my blog and my psyche.

But the present isn’t a time for pink font on black backgrounds of blogspot URLs, and it’s not a time for being brutally honest and raw and remaining a speck of sand. I saw that last year when I was criticized for a post I wrote in 2009. I continue to see it today, when I see my analytics, find someone on a forum or in comments share my blog as a great resource, and then another comes after and says something like, “I used to like her too until I found this” and shares a link to where that criticism took place. Where a mob mentality can happen over hating some speck of sand and figuring out ways to obliterate it, hurt it financially and personally. Where I have seen good friends share their soul and without rhyme or reason some get torn to shreds while others make bank.  I see how raw and honest has become the key to 15 minutes of internet fame and I start wondering if people who share are doing it for catharsis, for community, or for the hope that they could end up on the Today Show or at least Buzzfeed, Jezebel, or HuffPo. I see how even brands are asking for more intrusive aspects to their partnerships – share your child, photograph yourself without makeup, get paid to write about a chronic illness and tie it in to a car company or digestive aid.

A lot of that raw honesty in my old blog was due to age. At 29, I looked at bloggers like Dooce and Stephanie Klein and thought I too could write something witty and become famous. Maybe my blog would segue into a newspaper column a la Carrie Bradshaw or a book of my funny thoughts like Sloane Crosley. Here’s me in my nightgown, eyeliner to my cheeks with a hangover! Let me tell you about the time I thought my bathroom was making me sick and I tore off the wallpaper and destroyed the place while Karl was in Mexico for teacher training! Did I ever tell you about the time that my dog ate a bag of weed? Let me vent about my asshole boss, I totally think by changing his name he’d never know it was him.

I got burned (hey, did I ever tell you about the time I was denied a government clearance for work partially because of what was on my blog?), I started a family, I got older, and I got wiser. I thanked my lucky stars that I never got that book deal or newspaper column about my personal thoughts, and that I got into blogging relatively early in the game but late in life so I never felt it was okay to share every single detail in high-resolution digital imagery and live video.  But even with age and wisdom I have said and done things that still make me cringe, still come back to haunt me.

When I did my reader survey, so many of you said you wanted more of me. More personal life, more Emerson, more Karl, more essays, more real and raw. Chatting with Winona reminded me that there are still amazing wholehearted people out there rocking on the internet, I can be one of them, there can be a balance between being open and being a sellout. But it also reminded me that we may all be specks of sand, but we now live in a time where everyone feels they have the right to bitch about that speck of sand in their eye, warn everyone about the dangers of eye damage when visiting a beach, and figure out ways to shut down the beach to protect the rest of the world from such irritation.

Each day with this blog it is a balance. Give great content, but don’t be impersonal. But don’t be so honest that you can hurt yourself and your loved ones. Be profitable, but don’t be a sellout. Figure out ways to improve, do better, but don’t let it consume you. Be proud of success, get out there because we all deserve recognition for a job well done, but always remember you are a speck of sand. Be proud, but be humble, and always keep your guard up yet give enough of yourself to keep ties to what makes blogging so special in the first place.

I’m not going anywhere. As I said to Winona, I have more ideas than days in the week to post them and hours in the day where I can write about them. The more I blog, the more inspired I am, and the more I want to create good work that can do good work. Blogging is a rush, writing is what I love, and having an active community and regular feedback to improve and connect is such a gift. But I treasure my life, my family, my IRL community, and my self and need to protect and respect it, keep it separate, keep it sacred. I think true blogging talent is finding that balance of personal and professional; I am working on that every day.

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In: The Business of Blogging

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Comments

  1. Diane Stenglein says

    November 18, 2015 at 1:07 pm

    There is so much about you that I love – from your frank talk about being plus sized, chatting about raising a family, and living in a city. I love your style – how you make common brands your own. I’d like to think that if you lived nearby, we could meet and have a coffee together, while the kids played

    Reply
  2. Morgan Rudder says

    November 17, 2015 at 11:02 am

    I remember that blogspot blog, girl. I had just moved to CA, and was trying to navigate my first ever professional job and a marriage and stuff I had no business navigating at 22, and girl, I am not even lying…you kept me sane. You did. I am almost tearing up writing it, but I remember one post where you said something about overdrawing your bank account (sorry to bring that up if its a memory best left unchecked on the internet…), and I had been on the phone with Bank of America that very morning, and I swear to my never, I felt so much better, not because you overdrew your bank account but because it felt doable…life felt doable in that moment, and it wasn’t like 5 minutes prior. I do miss those old internet days…I don’t know if I’d have time now for all of the soul-searching I did on the internet back then, but I do miss it in a way. It got me through my 20’s if I’m completely honest. I feel like so much of what we do on the internet now is so divisive…I have been wanting to delete my Facebook account all week because of it…but that time seemed much more inclusive, when you could really find “your tribe” on the Internet. Gosh, that makes me feel old! I’ll stop there before I feel older and sadder!

    But just know that even if you hadn’t taught me about merino wool and ponte (which you most certainly did) your sand speck would have been an important sand speck to me.

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      November 17, 2015 at 11:13 am

      Aww much love to you, Morgan! Now that I recall you were also back then, though I know we bonded over ponte, merino, J. Crew and leopard shoes on my other blogs too. Reading those posts, it was the time of MySpace and even that was more… inclusive than Facebook. Sure, lots of duck lip photos and so many glitter GIFs but I remember connecting with strangers, sharing my soul and they theirs and it seemed so accepting. But maybe it’s age, not the change in blogging and social media, maybe it’s me not the world. I only keep Facebook because I can keep in touch with relatives far away, they can see Emerson grow, and also because I work too much to know her friend’s parents IRL and it lets me know more about them and connect. BUt the rest? SUCKS.

      Reply
  3. shoegalfi says

    November 17, 2015 at 3:06 am

    Thanks for the shout out! I love this post and I think you’re doing a great job here. I’ve lost count how many years I’ve been reading but I’m still here! x

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      November 17, 2015 at 11:13 am

      You too my dear! I love that you’re still rocking it! <3

      Reply
  4. GoddessMel says

    November 15, 2015 at 9:35 pm

    Thank you for this post Alison – it reminded me of why I came to your blog in the first place and why I still love reading what you have to say. But it also reminded me that – while I feel I know you and we would probably be BFFs if we ever met 😉 – you are a real person with a real life, family and feelings that I have no right to intrude upon. So please, keep writing, keep sharing as much as you feel comfortable with, and keep on being just damned fabulous you 🙂

    (And on a not-at-all-stalkery note, I bought myself some awesome band tees on the weekend, despite them not being the ‘professional wardrobe’ items I was hunting for, because I thought you’d approve LOL. I plan to wear them Friday-casual-suit style just like one of my favourite WO posts.)

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      November 17, 2015 at 11:14 am

      Oooh I love it, rock those band tees! And thank you for this comment, and thank you for being part of this community and a reason why I love writing and coming here to the comments section and being part of all of this <3

      Reply
  5. Patricia says

    November 15, 2015 at 10:21 am

    Please please protect yourself. I appreciate your candor and the private moments you choose to share. But I’d rather have you here and a little more guarded than shut down due to the cruel cowardly internet trolls who have no lives of their own.

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      November 17, 2015 at 11:14 am

      Thank you Patricia! Yep, not going anywhere, but each day I am more aware and better able to balance it all and protect while still enjoying the beauty of blogging!

      Reply
  6. Stephanie Mitchell says

    November 15, 2015 at 12:57 am

    I love that you curate yourself. That balance makes you *more* real and relatable to me. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      November 17, 2015 at 11:14 am

      Thank YOU!!! <3

      Reply

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Since 2005, Wardrobe Oxygen has offered real-life style advice for grown-ass women. With years of experience as an apparel visual merchandiser and personal shopper, Alison Gary provides advice on how to achieve personal style no matter your age, size, or budget.

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Sep 23

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Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jnDf #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style

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Sep 21

Open
If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle

wardrobe_oxygen

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Sep 19

Open
If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle

wardrobe_oxygen

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Sep 11

Open
Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️

wardrobe_oxygen

View

Sep 8

Open
I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4idXm

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Sep 5

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I’ll be a bit quiet on here and other channels because I had eye (retinal) surgery this past weekend. I was having what I thought were ocular migraines but come to find out I was experiencing lattice degeneration, which is thinning/holes in the retina. I had surgery Saturday for my right eye and later on they’ll work on the left eye, which isn’t as bad and can be remedied by laser, in office.

I share not because I’m Mrs. Frizzle meets Iris Apfel as I recuperate at home, but because this whole thing has been a lesson on trusting my gut. And I want to remind you to do the same.

As we get older our bodies can feel like strangers. Things are constantly changing and it’s easy to just assume your annual physical will catch anything wrong. But if you slow down and listen to your body you’ll know when things are just a sign of aging and life and what seems unusual. That nagging issue may be something more serious.

And if you’re seeing flashing lights, floaters, spiderwebs or other odd eye things get checked out ASAP. It may be nothing but take it from me, it may actually be something. ❤️

Okay, going back to my big sunglasses caftan recuperation life!

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Aug 30

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Ladies who lunch…

While in Savannah, I made sure to get lunch reservations for me and E at @theoldepinkhouse she loves the color pink, historic homes, and ghost stories so it was a perfect choice! 

Built in 1789 on Reynolds Square, there are stories of guests seeing ghosts, cutlery and wine bottles moving along with an elegant and truly delicious dining. 

While we didn’t see any apparitions, we did have a lovely lunch with impeccable service and after toured all floors of the home. I highly recommend a visit if you’re visiting Savannah!

My dress is from @cosstores (no longer available); hat is @furtalk and bag is @talbotsofficial (no longer available).

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Aug 29

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Scenes from a week in Savannah… 

The three of us (and our dog Oscar!) had a warm and humid but wonderful time exploring Savannah, Georgia earlier this month. Our daughter visited this gorgeous city last summer with her @girlscouts troop but wanted to return to experience more. We let her choose our adventures and play your guide and it was awesome. We cannot wait to visit again, though next time it won’t be August 🥵

For more of our trip check the “Savannah” highlight on my profile page!

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Aug 28

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Stripes are always right…

Y’all know I love stripes and when @universalstandard came out with their Breton-stripe dresses and tops I HAD to try them! As expected, the quality is stellar, the fit boosts my confidence, and I appreciate the range of colors (5 different stripes to choose from) and sizes (00-50). For reference, I’m wearing XS but preferred S for the top and I usually wear a 14 or XL in other brands.

The tote is @able and it’s a soft yet durable leather that just looks better with time. This color (cognac) is one that transitions nicely from summer to fall. 

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4hkEF 

#usinthewild #bretonstripes #midsizestyle #midsizefashion #size14 #over40style

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Aug 27

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The family that wears @printfresh together stays together 🥰

Use code wardrobe_oxygen for 15% off your order of size-inclusive organic cotton sleepwear, dresses, bags & more https://glnk.io/qk04/wardrobe-oxygen

I’ve been raving about my Printfresh pajamas for years, my family also wanted to try them. Thank you Printfresh for gifting these for our annual three generation girls’ getaway to Rehoboth Beach, DE. We had a great time and being all matchy matchy in our pajamas was a fun addition! 🐅🍃🥰

#printfresh #printfreshpajamas #printfreshpartner

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