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The perfect red for the holiday season 💄

I love a red lipstick, especially in winter. It adds brightness to gray days and skin not exposed to the sun. Look in my dressing table and you’ll find at least a dozen different red lipsticks. But this winter my go-to red is “Relax” by @flyte.70 

Glossy but not sticky, long wearing but not drying, the Flyte.70 L+L.LipLacquer feels like a lip balm. One layer is a hint of color and shine; add more layers for more pigment, gloss, and impact. This isn’t the only Flyte.70 lip color I have and love; I regularly wear “Fast Car” which is a modern version of the brown lipsticks we loved in the 90s that looks so good with the neutrals popular right now.

And with products named after songs from the 80s and 90s I couldn’t not use this Frankie Goes to Hollywood song for this lip color!

This isn’t paid, it’s a PSA because I know it’s hard to find good red lip colors. And @flyte.70 is a U.S.-based woman-owned ethical beauty brand created specifically for U.S. grown women and I find the quality stellar.

Use code WOXYGEN15 for 15% off your order at Flyte.70

The quickest and cheapest way to update your wardrobe for the holidays is with a glossy red lip! 💄

#over40style #genxstyle #genxbeauty #flyte70
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The tree is trimmed! 🎄

When I was a single gal, I had the prettiest tree with a color story and theme. 20 years later, my tree is a hodgepodge of inherited ornaments, gifts from loved ones, and handmade pieces from both my childhood and by my child. And I think each year it veers further from the original concept the more beautiful it becomes!

My daughter and I donned our Santa hats, turned on the holiday playlist, a Yule log on the TV, and spent the afternoon getting our home into the Christmas spirit.

When she was little, my husband would pick her up so she could place the star on top of the tree. Now that she’s taller than I am, when he got home he just put his arm around her as she used the library stool to reach the top. Some traditions need to be modified with time but they’re still special! ⭐️

Top is a feather trimmed Breton from @talbotsofficial; the scarf as a belt is also Talbots but a few years old. The jeans are @landsend and the blanket on the chair in the second photo is by artist  @zanderschlacter
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My therapist recommended I walk outside more as I grieve the recent loss of my mom.

When it was time to pay for my mom’s funeral, the credit card I had in my wallet was my @bananarepublic Mastercard. I’ve had this card for decades because over the years, most of our family have worn some Gap brand. From onesies to tuxedos, we’ve updated our wardrobes with points.

And I got a serious chunk of points for charging my mom’s funeral expenses on my Banana card.

I decided to use them to buy clothes for winter outdoor walking. Nothing motivates me more than a chance to put together a cute outfit. This cute look is from @athleta, one of the few activewear brands that fits both my size and my style.

My Athleta purchase arrived on my doorstep and that day, a neighbor reached out, inviting me to join a group of women in our community who were supporting, not competing, to move 100k. I immediately said yes and signed up. 

This past week I hit 100k. And this past week week it has been two months she has been gone. I’m still going 💪 

Wearing XL. For reference I’m 5’3” and usually wear a size 14.

I share details on all my looks on the @shop.LTK app. You can use the app or desktop, search for @wardrobe_oxygen or use the link https://liketk.it/4pFaS
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Normalizing the normal everyday outfit…

It was a day of running errands, running to the office, and then running into friends. It rained off and on so I wanted shoes for potential puddles and a coat that wouldn’t soak through but also keep me warm.

The sweater is @universalstandard; I bought it thinking it was a bold purple but the color was off on the site and I got plum. But I think I like this better. I’m wearing a S. This is my second of this cardigan, it is super soft, dense, and holds up to washing. My other one I got a year ago and still wear all the time.

The jeans are @oldnavy and while they’re not perfect and stretch out throughout the day they were around $18 and I like the wash and weight of the denim. I’m wearing a 14 Short.

The boots are old Docs, the coat I got at @talbotsofficial last winter, and the bag is @maxwellscottuk and I’ve had for almost a decade. Earrings are @_jennybird, necklace is @gorjana. 

Disclosure: the coat was gifted last year but remains a favorite. The necklace was also gifted about a year ago but I keep wearing because I like it and it has held up quality-wise. The rest I bought. 

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!

#liketkit #LTKfindsunder50 #LTKover40 #LTKmidsize #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style #size14 #usinthewild 
https://liketk.it/4pDXG
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Counteract the gray days with cozy colorful clothes! 🌈 This cashmere sweater set is the prettiest teal and I loved how it looked with this candy pink Chesterfield coat. All are from @anntaylor one of my favorite places to shop because Ann has petites over a size 12. Also all of these items are on sale!

While I did receive these clothes as a gift from Ann Taylor I am under no obligation to share with you. This is what I wore to work and when I saw these colors against the green of my building door I had to prop up my phone and capture the color combo!

This sweater is a classic and with the skirt is created a dress effect you can style with tall boots, ankle boots and tights, or dress down with sneakers. I linked to other pieces in this color that would also look dreamy with this skirt, as well as other gorgeous colorful coats.

For reference I am wearing the coat in XL petite and the sweater set in L. I am 5’3” and usually wear a 14/16

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content! https://liketk.it/4plYr 

#LTKmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #size14 #midsizepetite #ThisIsAnn
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Just got back from a 4-night getaway with my sister @debbiefaye78 at @curacaomarriottbeachresort. It was a last-minute planned trip that ended up being perfect. We weren’t ready to celebrate Thanksgiving without our mom and this escape what just what our hearts needed. 

I’ll be sharing more once I finally unpack my suitcase and organize my photos and thoughts; but I couldn’t not share this picture from yesterday morning. Debbie and I got up early to enjoy some of the day at the resort before flying home to DC. We had the infinity pool to ourselves, finished our books, and relaxed before a long day of travel. 🌴
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It’s hard when you’re petite and most models aren’t; you have no idea how clothes, especially jeans will fit. To promote @universalstandard’s Denim Drive sale, the company sent me two pairs of jeans of my choice. And I chose to make this video to show how they fit on my 5’3” body. I am usually a 14/32 in jeans but at Universal Standard I wear a 12 because they’re super stretchy and generously sized. 

With jeans as low as $35 in sizes 00-40, this is a sale not to be missed. And use code INFS-BFALISON10 for an additional 10% off sitewide!

The Farrah Flare is a favorite because at my height, most flare jeans will lose what makes them special once hemmed. At a 30” inseam these are great with low heels or lug soles.

The Etta is a straight jean with a vintage fit. If in doubt size down. They’re also super stretchy and the 28” inseam (they also come in 31”) works with my boots and sneakers.

While I was provided the apparel in this Reel for free, I was not paid or contracted to create this content. Consider it a PSA for my fellow shorties shopping this fab denim sale!

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4oWOQ #ltkmidsize #ltkplussize #ltkover40 #ltksalealert #uspartner #midsizestyle
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Thanks to @talbotsofficial I’m ready for the holidays! #AD

I love Talbots for holiday fashion and this season’s new arrivals do not disappoint. And for Black Friday the entire site is 40% off with free shipping on orders $150+. Until noon, you also receive 50% off 1 regular price item!

I ordered pieces from the Talbots Holiday Collection and found great quality, great style, and great versatility. How cute is the Breton stripe bateau neck with the removable feather cuffs? The metallic plaid patio skirt is so fun, and these two dresses can glam up or dress down with a change of footwear and bag. For reference, I am wearing everything in either XL or 16 petite.

The ivory cords are also Talbots; the black trousers are from last year’s Talbots Holiday Collection showing how Talbots has lasting style. I’ve linked to exact or very similar in my LTK shop. Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.ltk app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content! https://liketk.it/4oDJF

#mytalbots modernclassicstyle #wondersoftheseason #ltkover40 #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #blackfridaysale
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@somaintimates makes it easy to shop for a range of personas this holiday season! #AD With gift guides for a range of personality types, you can easily find great gifts for your loved ones. I was drawn to the creative one, loving the rich colorful florals, luxe satin, lace trim, and of course Soma’s iconic Cool Nights sleepwear! Visit Soma’s gift guide for tips on finding the perfect present this holiday season. #SomaGiftGuide #SomaStartsWithMe
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Health and Wellness, Perimenopause · January 5, 2023

I Call Bullsh*t On Celebrity Menopause Brands

This article may contain affiliate links; if you click on a shopping link and make a purchase I may receive a commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. 

I call bullshit on celeb-backed menopause brands and share my experience with Stripes and research on State of by Stacy London

I am so effing OVER celebrity brands. We grew up with C-list actors on late-night infomercials and familiar faces from previous decades shilling long-term care insurance. Then a few industrious famous folk created products or added their name to products sold on QVC and HSN. Sometimes these celebrities created the actual products; more often than not they were just lending their name in exchange for profit share.

But with social media, celebrity brands are in overdrive. I blame Kylie Jenner, who we all know now had fake numbers to put her on the cover of Forbes but still made famous people believe they could create the next billion-dollar brand.

I Call Bullshit on Celebrity Menopause Brands

Tequila, canned wine, activewear, NFTs, skincare… who can keep count? Right now the trend seems to be celebrity products for middle-aged Generation X. Reading glasses, home fitness, mattresses, hair restoration, and menopause.

Well menopause is a more recent phenomenon. For most of time, menopause wasn't discussed. Women suffered in silence and doctors weren't much help. But in this day and age of internet and social media, we are able to share our experiences and find a supportive community. Social media also provides us peeks into the lives of some celebrities. We grew up with these famous women, and now we are going through menopause with them. We are hearing about their hot flashes and seeing the remedies they recommend.

There are websites and books and doctors and researchers and nutritionists and even TikTokers all dedicated to dispelling the myths of menopause and offering real solutions. But finding this requires time and research, and it's far easier when a familiar face with financial backing does the work for us. Right?

But what if the menopause products shilled by those familiar faces is just a bunch of overpriced bullshit?

But We Need Menopause Products!

While I may call bullshit on celebrity menopause brands, that doesn't mean I don't believe we who go through menopause don't need such products. I am glad such products are on the market. I've bought many of them with mixed results, but a lot of positive. While most of these celebrity-backed menopause beauty products are bullshit, there are some great products out there that can alleviate some of the effects of menopause without clearing out your wallet or consuming questionable ingredients.

As an influencer, I sometimes am mailed these products as gifts from the brands when they are launching or added a new product to their line. Search for over-40 influencers and you can find me. I've even written about perimenopause and discussed it on Instagram and my audience is around my age so I am a prime target.

I've seen so many of my peers get the same boxes of products I did, performing an unboxing on their Instagram Stories, and sharing a Reel a week later extolling the virtues of these lotions and potions. And I'm sitting here thinking, “This brand sent me this heavy box of shit and now it's on me to recycle the containers because I don't think anyone needs the remainder in the bottles.” It has made me realize we don't all benefit from the same products, we don't all have the same business ethics, and I need to do my own research.

So I'm sharing the research I did on these celebrity menopause brands and why I believe this is all a bunch of bullshit to con Gen X women into dropping coin on crap they don't need.

It Started with Stacy London's Brand, State Of

stacy london state of menopause
State Of CEO Stacy London holding some of the products from her menopause brand

These lotions and potions are often backed by famous women we have come to love and trust. It started with Stacy London, a person I have admired for decades. She became a household name with What Not to Wear, but her journey since then has been inspiring. Stacy London has always been honest and open, sharing her trials and tribulations with us through writing, public speaking, and social media. When she started experiencing menopause, I was thrilled she was using her platform to share her experience and educate her followers.

She launched State Of, a line of body care products for menopause. It made sense, and I loved seeing a woman who was open about menopause creating products for us. But looking at the products and ingredients I was concerned. Very little information about sourcing, reasoning behind the ingredients, or testing. The reviews online seemed to primarily be from those who had to review in exchange for free product, a few said they tried to leave a negative review but it was filtered out. And most of those products… similar is already on the market.

State Of closed down at the end of 2022, but the site is still up showing the products:

  • One item that originally intrigued me was an arnica hand cream, which makes so much sense for the achy joints and muscles that come with menopause. A 2.5-ounce tube was $28… but you can get a 3.5-ounce tube of Kneipp for less than $20 on Amazon and it gets fantastic reviews for accomplishing the same thing.
  • State Of offered a cooling spray in a 1-ounce bottle for $12. This is some serious bullshit, it's essentially any face mist with menthol and peppermint oil added. Neither ingredient is that great for your face, but if you do want the cooling effects of peppermint you can easily create your own spray or buy this one from Tropical Waters, the same size, for $9.
  • State Of also had moisturizing suppositories infused with magnesium CBD to help with vaginal dryness and pain. You received 10 for $70. Sounds good, but when it comes to CBD I've done some research (you can find some of it here in my Equilibria CBD review). State Of doesn't state where the CBD comes from, what form of CBD it is, or even how much CBD is in each suppository. Instead, the brand FORIA has been creating CBD-infused sexual wellness products since 2014 and offers a similar product with 100mg of broad-spectrum organic CBD with 444 positive reviews. And on top of it, FORIA's suppositories are cheaper.

None of the products sold by State Of were inherently bad. I take issue with a company selling overpriced products with questionable ingredients to a vulnerable population. As women we are already dismissed by much of the medical community; menopause has not been properly researched or understood. We're desperate for someone to listen, to understand, and to help and this just feels like taking advantage of us and our wallets.

Stacy London has done a lot to bring attention to menopause, but since her launch of State Of, there have been so many other celebrity menopause brands offering the same thing – repackaged items already on the market with a higher pricetag.

Then Naomi Watts Came on the Scene with Her Menopause Brand, Stripes

naomi watts stripes
Naomi Watts at the launch party of her menopause brand, Stripes

A couple of months ago, I received a big box in the mail from Stripes, a menopause wellness brand by actress Naomi Watts. It was one of those fancy fabric-covered boxes with the magnetic closure that come with expensive purchases. Inside was a formed insert holding six products from this new menopause line with details about the products, brand, and Watts.

The branding is soft blue, dusty rose, ivory, and dark green. The boxes are embossed with an “S” design. The bottles are opaque glass. The products themselves have punny names like “Vag of Honor,” “Dew As I Dew,” and “Resting Clean Face.” I received products for hair, skin, vaginal/labial comfort, as well as a bottle of supplements.

I looked at the product descriptions on the website before opening the boxes… and I couldn't see a personal need for any of them. The skincare products didn't look very revolutionary (product goals are to brighten and hydrate), I'm not the kind who uses a hair mask, I already take supplements, and I already have something for hydration down there. I put them in the bin I have for reader giveaways and local donations but then I ran out of lube and decided to try Stripes' “Oh My Glide.”

Stripes Oh My Glide
Not my hand or my nightstand, but a product photo showing the shape and size of Stripes Oh My Glide

This lube came in an artfully shaped heavy opaque glass container with one of those little fingerprint pumps that are already slippery when not dispersing lube. It was a beautiful bottle, one you'd leave out on the bedside table like the photo above. But the bottle made no sense in a practical sense.

That bottle in the photo above only holds 3 ounces. it's thick glass and with that weight and the opacity, it's impossible to know much product is left. That delicate little pump top was so slippery (and stopped working after the third use). This bottle tipped over, rolled off the nightstand, and one time even flew across the room. Thank goodness it was thick glass; not a single crack. This fancy-dancy lube costs $40 for 3.3 ounces of product and wasn't any better than what I usually use.

Oh My Glide is made from Citrus Paradisi (Grapefruit) Seed Oil, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter, Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil, Persea Gratissima (Avocado) Oil, Squalane, Hydrogenated Castor Oil, Copernicia Cerifera (Carnauba) Wax, Bisabolol.

My gynecologist recommends coconut oil as a lubricant, as long as you're not using latex condoms. So does my mom's oncologist. My GP says any natural oil is fine as long as you're not using latex or non-silicone toys. Sweet almond oil keeps a liquid consistency, has almost no smell, and it doesn't look like anything but a natural moisturizer when sitting on your nightstand.

There are some articles that have clickbait titles stating coconut and other natural oils are dangerous as lube, but even reading the articles you see the fear is unsubstantiated and just an opportunity for affiliate links. Ask your doctor, do your homework, but know you don't need to spend $40 for 3 ounces of something you can find on the shelves of Whole Foods. All “Oh My Glide” did was motivate me to set up a “Subscribe and Save” of organic almond oil (16 ounces for less than $15).

stripes oh my glide review
The back of the bottle of Stripes “Vag of Honor.” I had to take this photo and expand it to read the back.

My friend Sharon from the blog Cupcakes and Cutlery also received a gift of product from Stripes. I was excited for her review as she tells it straight, and I know like me she is dealing with hot flashes and other peri/menopausal issues. Sharon shared she too was underwhelmed by the products. And like me, Sharon found the minuscule low-contrast font on the packaging to be ridiculous considering the age of the product consumer. Reading glasses weren't enough, I had to take a photo with my phone and enlarge it to read the back of the bottle.

But It's Bringing Attention to Menopause!

Driving home from a road trip, my husband and I were listening to an interview on a podcast. Three men created an adventure challenge to bring awareness to veterans' mental health. We were intrigued.

As we continued listening we realized the only veterans participating in this challenge were the three creators. The challenge sounded very complicated and very expensive. The men discussed the need for airplanes, securing places for the event in different countries, bringing scientists and doctors on board, and much more. They shared that while they were doing the challenge, “VIPs” could pay their way into participating in portions of the seven-continent adventure. I went online to investigate how much this all cost and how it was helping veterans.

I didn't find much about this specific challenge, but I found a similar challenge and it cost EUR 42,000 to participate. So these “VIPs” likely aren't the veterans who may benefit from such an experience. It sort of felt like these dudes had a great idea, but they also had the desire to have someone fund their adventure-seeking lifestyle, and maybe the whole point got lost in the sauce. That is what I feel about these celebrity menopause brands.

We don't talk about menopause enough. Those in the medical field aren't taught enough about menopause. Not enough studies are funded to treat menopause. The patriarchy has made it so anything that happens to our bodies is something private and considered disgusting.

Men will scratch their crotches, have hair growing out of their noses and ears, burp at restaurants and leave skidmarks in their briefs while popping Cialis but if a woman leaks a single drop of blood she is seen as disgusting and unkempt. God forbid she itches or sweats, let alone admit to having and wanting pleasurable sex.

If men had periods, not only would the products needed to care for it be free, there would be some invention to improve the whole situation. If men could be pregnant and deliver babies, the whole medical process for childbirth would be drastically different and far more humane. And if men went through menopause, there would be some rite of passage along with an entire aisle of products in every drugstore across these United States.

I am THRILLED that these celebrities are using their platforms to discuss menopause. We are normalizing something that half of the planet's population experiences if they are lucky enough to live that long. This discussion, seeing familiar faces speaking out, sharing their truths, it's forcing investors to rethink our age demographic, forcing medical professionals to seek out solutions, and encouraging studies to take place. This is all good. But that doesn't mean I support folks cashing in on our hot flashes with mediocre products.

Let's Keep Talking About Menopause

I look forward to what the future holds, I am excited folks are talking about menopause. I hope it makes this natural phase of life be more comfortable and accepted for future generations. And I am glad that there are some great companies out there already creating great products to alleviate menopause symptoms, and that menopause educators are becoming more accessible.

There are a lot of experts on menopause who now use social media and the internet to educate. A few great ones:

  • Dr. Jen Gunter is a Canadian OB/GYN and pain medicine physician who dispels the myths of menopause and educates through her books, newsletter, and podcast.
  • Dr. Stacy Sims is a U.S. exercise physiologist and nutrition scientist who focuses on female athletes, especially those who are over 40. She has a menopause course for athletes as well as a set of supplements through Momentous, a very reputable supplements provider.
  • Dr. Louise Newsom is a British doctor and menopause specialist who created Balance, a free menopause library, a free symptom tracking app, and also a menopause clinic in the UK.
  • Dr. Lauren Streicher is the Medical Director of the Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause and educates through public speaking, her podcast, books, and YouTube.
  • Dr. Lisa Mosconi is a U.S. neuroscientist who focuses on women, the brain, and aging. She has a TED talk about menopause and the brain, several books on brain health, and you will find many articles where she is quoted discussing menopause and brain health.

If you desire a menopause-specific product, Google is your friend. For example, Googling “menopause itchy ears” led me to understand that it's a thing and not just my thing. The drying of mucus membranes is why we get dry down there but also why we may have a persistent runny nose (the body compensating) or fantasize about swirling a fluffed-up Q-tip in our ear canal. It also led me to sea buckthorn, which helps with vaginal dryness and itchy ears.

If you're experiencing perimenopause or menopause, that means you're a grown-ass woman who early on figured out the VCR and figured out how to cook dinner, or at least an afternoon snack. You grew up on satire and SNL, you have a bullshit meter. It's time to dust that baby off. You deserve better than some celebrity-backed BS.

And as always, I welcome recommendations, education, and personal experiences in the comments. Do know if you share more than one link in your comment it will be held up in moderation, but I will approve it within a few hours.

alison signature

In: Health and Wellness, Perimenopause · Tagged: menopause, perimenopause

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Comments

  1. Claire says

    February 18, 2023 at 1:13 pm

    Oh my gosh thanks Alison. That itchy ears thing is a revelation. Also just to put it out there in case other women feel crazy…I’ve had perimenopausal symptoms for years despite still having pretty regular periods. And yes spellcheck, “perimenopausal” is a real word lol. Wow, spellcheck recognizes itself as a word and not that! Must be a man! (Hahaha I kid, mostly, but dang that patriarchy!)

    Reply
  2. annieb says

    January 9, 2023 at 7:44 pm

    As always, I learn something from every post of yours. While I am INCREDIBLY lucky in that my menopause symptoms have been barely there, I HAVE had a ridiculous amount of post-nasal drip and clogged ears. I’ve been to doctors who just tell me to take allergy medicine, which does not seem to make a difference. I’ve never, ever been told that it could be hormone related. I found this article that explains some things for me https://www.houstonsinussurgery.com/blog/how-hormonal-changes-contribute-to-post-nasal-drip, and I am so intrigued.

    Also, I am 56 and have never used vaginal moisturizers, but I see it on my horizon, so thank you all for the information on coconut oil!

    I truly love these posts. It feels like such a community and it’s wonderful.

    Reply
  3. Rain says

    January 7, 2023 at 3:42 pm

    I’ve been in surgically induced menopause for two years, since I was 40. I’ve been on the lowest dose of the estrogen patch since day one. I don’t have any menopause symptoms except brain fog, which doesn’t respond to HRT. I highly recommend talking to your doctor about HRT to see if it’s right for you….it’s a lifesaver for me.

    Reply
    • Laurel says

      January 8, 2023 at 6:51 am

      I also had surgically induced menopause in my late 30’s. I have been using a low dose estradiol patch for years and my OB/GYN is still on bird with my ongoing usage. I can’t recommend it enough.

      Reply
      • Laurel says

        January 8, 2023 at 6:52 am

        Oops. On BOARD. Ha!

        Reply
  4. Jennifer says

    January 7, 2023 at 2:27 pm

    Thank you for again discussing perimenopause!

    Reply
  5. Mallory says

    January 7, 2023 at 1:27 pm

    This is one of my favorite articles from you yet. Thank you for being an honest, thoughtful, and principled influencer who helps empower women.

    Reply
  6. Stephenie says

    January 7, 2023 at 8:28 am

    Thank you! This is one of my favorite articles to date! Wonderful resource recommendations. I am a family nurse practitioner and every week if not every day I have patients with perimenopause and menopause related issues (the symptoms are many and wide ranging). Menopause is part of every woman’s life! It can have debilitating characteristics and can last 10 years. TEN years-that is how long adolescence lasts! Many providers do not have the knowledge, time, or comfort level to discuss the topic with patients. Many menopausal symptoms are treated as individual issues (vaginal dryness, urethritis, hot flashes, brain fog, mood instability) instead of parts of a total sum. The few medical based treatments that exist tend to be $$$, and only partially covered or not covered at all by insurance! And there are quite a few, more than we’d like to admit, licensed providers out there providing/prescribing menopause treatments that are sketchy at best and harmful at worst. Maybe celeb attention will help. Yet, I fear it will be another fleecing of vagina having people’s pockets. And a few more cogs in the wheel of the vag industrial complex making bank by telling us all and convincing so many that we must wash, douche, deodorize, spritz, scent, shave, wax, tighten, and beautify our nether regions to be; fresh, socially acceptable, successful, desirable, loved, and worthy.

    Reply
  7. Barbara says

    January 6, 2023 at 5:06 pm

    I’d love to meet the celeb agent/manager who built the blueprint for adding products to their clients’ portfolios as a way to launch 15 minutes more of fame… so I could slap him or her. I kid. Sort of. But as Alison says, it’s such a common occurrence in menopause products, skin care, make up tequila etc that I feel bad for non-famous creators/formulators/inventors who have all these famous people crowding them out of their space.

    To end this on a less ranty note: my dr and I agree that The Menopause Manifesto is a must read (even for me for whom themenopause train has already left the station) and I’m a fan of Good Clean Love lubes that somehow managed to get shelf space at Target without Naomi or Stacy’s help.

    Reply
  8. Susan Cope says

    January 6, 2023 at 11:49 am

    So I am 46 and already through menopause. I started experiencing peri menopausal symptoms (which was dx premature ovarian failure) in my early 30s. Thankfully, I am through the worst of my symptoms and only experience hot flashes now if I have had too much sugar or alcohol. During the worst of my symptoms, I tried cooling pajamas, sheets, etc. The best solution I found was to fill a good thermos with ice water and keep it on my nightstand. I could take a big gulp and cool down quickly and go back to sleep.

    Reply
  9. Sharmani Pillay says

    January 6, 2023 at 12:17 am

    Loved this article, Alison. If there’s money to be made, someone will try to make it. Even if they have no clue about what—or who—they’re selling to!

    Reply
  10. Megan says

    January 5, 2023 at 9:35 pm

    I’m not quite to perimenopause yet, but I still love the Feisty Menopause podcast. I feel like I’m learning now from my virtual older sisters what’s in store for me soon. The podcast focuses on athletic women working their way to/through menopause.

    Reply
  11. Jannette from Canada says

    January 5, 2023 at 6:28 pm

    I am one of those people that read your site and never comment. Well this post had me wanting to tell you a story. I am 75 years old and suffered through menopause dreadfully. I was on HRT but then there was a scare in the 90’s so I was taken off it and reverted back to all my symptoms. Hot flashes were dreadful and I the heat would go into my face and hair. I was teaching senior high school at this time (mainly boys) and had to carry around a linen napkin with me to wipe away the sweat. Finally I took the bull by the horns and explained in a education moment that I was going through menopause and that was why I was having these “hot flashes”. I never forgot how these 16 not 18 years old handled so well this information. Far better than my peers. If there ever was a reason to discuss menopause this did it for me. always find your blog so interesting and informative.

    Reply
  12. Kathy says

    January 5, 2023 at 2:40 pm

    I am 68 and have had severe menopausal symptoms since 2008. Yep, 14 years and counting. I used hormone patches between 2012 and 2014 successfully. My symptoms, though not gone, were much improved. Then my insurance company decided not to cover them anymore. I weaned off and went into severe symptom rebound. I toughed it out for 5 years. During that time I told all the older women I knew that going on HRT was the worst decision of my life because coming off was so bad. My research told me that most women were back to baseline 3 years after discontinuing therapy. My hot flashes and sleep problems were less bad, but still quite problematic at the 3 year mark. The symptoms continued to abate over the next 2 years, but I still woke on average 4 to 5 times a night and felt like a zombie all day 5 years after weaning off of the hormone patches. Some new research and a couple of excellent books had come out during my 5 years of rebound hell. After reading them I realized that my mistake was not going on HRT, it was going off of it. I decided that I needed to find a doctor who would be willing to put me back on HRT at the age of 65. Several months of drug experimentation ensued. My Gyn tried ultra low dose birth control pills first. I think she tried 3 different dosages. None of them worked. I was eventually put on traditional HRT. Last fall, that is in 2021, just before I turned 67, I asked to have my dosage doubled. I now wake up on average of only once or twice a night. There are even some nights when I don’t wake at all. I feel much better and wish that I and my doctors had not been so afraid to use HRT. The best book I have found is titled “Estrogen Matters” by Avrum Bluming, M.D. and Carol Tavris, PhD. It was published in 2018. Dr. Bluming is an oncologist who specializes in breast cancer and Ms. Tavris is a social psychologist. There book is incredibly well researched and dispels all of the nonsense that we have been fed regarding HRT. I highly recommend it. If only it had been available during all the years I suffered in menopause hell!

    I have none of the risk factors for severe menopause. I had a natural menopause, not a surgical one. I still retain all of my parts:). I am very healthy except for my menopausal symptoms. I am not overweight. I have never smoked and do not drink. I have never had steroid treatment. I took no prescription medicines of any kind and have never done recreational drugs. I do not have a family history of severe menopausal hot flashes. In fact, my 92 year old mother has never had a single one! She doesn’t know what a hot flash feels like. I also assumed (oh so wrongly) that most women who complained of having a difficult menopausal transition had psychological difficulties with aging. I always believed that menopause was a natural time when our female hormones lessened and should be less problematic than puberty. Mother Nature whapped up the side of the head when I hit menopause. She certainly humbled me!

    Reply
    • EChic says

      January 6, 2023 at 7:14 am

      I am also a fan of HRT, my mental health professional rec it when I asked about reducing my antidepressant dosage (not because I felt fabulous but that medication can increase hot flashes). I wound up going to a ‘vanity clinic’ so it isn’t covered by insurance but the little pellets WORK. I thought all HRT increased cancer risks but it turns out that with my medical history that isn’t true. IE if you don’t have a uterus you can’t get uterine cancer that easily.

      The biggest deal for me was muscle tone and changing body composition. I can’t care for my pets if I can’t lift them safely and that is probably what really tipped the scales and made me try something. I wish more was said about the influence of these changes on our ability to lift and carry our grandkids, pets, the boxes at work … Vanity is not the driving force for HRT for many. Hormones matter in strength building!

      Reply
  13. Roberta says

    January 5, 2023 at 1:24 pm

    My gosh – this is the best discussion I have read about female aging in my life! I really had no idea! I read twice, took notes and will read more from those expert sites. Yesterday I said you were in my top 3 blog sites. Today you have moved to number one. I’m thinking you are gonna have a great 2023. Keep up the outstanding work Alison, thank you thank you thank you!

    Reply
  14. Lynn says

    January 5, 2023 at 1:09 pm

    I’ve been a fashion fan of yours for a few years but todays posts has turned me into a full-on fan girl! That you for bringing out in the open things we do not share often enough as women!
    My personal recommendations are:
    Natural coconut oil for lube
    Foria bag suppositories
    And there is lots of good information shared on this Facebook group:
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/1505719029448248/permalink/5957690710917702/?mibextid=W9rl1R

    Reply
  15. Spacegeek says

    January 5, 2023 at 1:08 pm

    THANK YOU! I too call BS on many of these products/lines, but am struggling MIGHTILY with hot flashes every *50* minutes (i’ve timed them), burning tongue syndrome and thinning hair. This sucks so badly and HRT isn’t an option due to family history. Finding ways to alleviate the symptoms is a high priority these days.

    Reply
  16. Stephanie says

    January 5, 2023 at 11:26 am

    This is great info ! I have a constant runny drippy nose, had no idea it could be related to this ! Thanks for the recommendations . I ordered the almond oil and the sea buckthorn.

    Reply
  17. Bonnie Grove says

    January 5, 2023 at 11:13 am

    I love that you research into these celebrity products and don’t just accept them at face value. We all need to turn our bullshit meters up a notch. Oh, and itchy ears?? My gosh I thought I had shit growing in there. Now I know why. Thank you!

    Reply
  18. Ruth P says

    January 5, 2023 at 9:56 am

    My GYN also recommends coconut oil, which I’ve been using for years; about 18 months ago I ended up on the Sloane Kettering website during a search, and even though this article is geared towards women recovering from cancer, it mentions several vaginal hydration options that are relevant for menopausal women as well.https://www.mskcc.org/cancer-care/patient-education/vaginal-health. I ended up trying Revaree from this list, and it has really helped in combination with the coconut oil. The occasional tearing that sometimes led to UTIs or just general pain is greatly alleviated. Thanks for continuing to talk about menopause!

    Reply
    • REBECCA says

      January 5, 2023 at 10:34 am

      Thanks for posting this link. I’ve used lubricant for years, but I never thought about actually using a vaginal moisturizer! I’m going to try the Revaree.

      Reply
    • Christy G says

      January 5, 2023 at 11:34 am

      Heather Corinna, founder of Scarleteen back in the 90’s, has a new book out called “What Fresh Hell Is This? Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You—a Guide“ that is a good Peri/Meno resource.

      Reply
      • HokieKate says

        January 5, 2023 at 3:51 pm

        Thank you! I just got my library’s Kindle copy.

        Reply
  19. Linda Dodson says

    January 5, 2023 at 9:54 am

    Thank you so much, Allison! I had no idea about the itchy ears or the runny nose, and I’ve had both for several years! Keep shining your light!

    Reply
  20. Michelle says

    January 5, 2023 at 9:37 am

    This whole post—WOW—thank you! I had no idea about the itchy ears & have been experiencing that so often, along with other issues too. Thanks for all the links to people who can actually help us. Your paragraph that begins with “If men had periods…” dear lord, yes to every word you wrote. It’s so frustrating to me, as a now 50 yr old female, to still be dealing with every bit of this & always having the difficulties put on women. It’s exhausting.

    Reply
  21. beth byrd says

    January 5, 2023 at 8:42 am

    This is an absolutely fascinating and relevant post today! Thank you!

    “The drying of mucus membranes is why we get dry down there but also why we may have a persistent runny nose (the body compensating) … ”

    Persistent runny nose? Who knew? This is me. I will try the sea buckthorn for sure.

    Reply
  22. Jen P. says

    January 5, 2023 at 8:35 am

    YOU ARE THE BEST ! I am sorry it took an article on menopause to get me to finally comment and tell you this, but hey, we have to start somewhere, right ? !

    Thank you for this and all the rest.

    I am out here, cheering you on. Bullshit meter dusted and charged. : )

    Reply
  23. FourInchHeels says

    January 5, 2023 at 8:32 am

    As always, I really appreciate your approach. It’s critical without condemning the whole industry, and gives balanced feedback about where they’ve done well. I leave feeling like I have new information and a better lens to understand what I’m seeing, rather than being handed an opinion I’m supposed to agree with.

    Reply
  24. Christina Brunk says

    January 5, 2023 at 8:26 am

    Well, I for one never even thought about trying to find products to offset the menopause symptoms I am experiencing – and it sounds like that’s part of the problem! While I have never heard of the products or brands you mention, I agree that menopause needs to be a topic of discussion, and research. Thanks for shining a light on it!

    Reply

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What is Wardrobe Oxygen?

Since 2005, Wardrobe Oxygen has offered real-life style advice for grown-ass women. With years of experience as an apparel visual merchandiser and personal shopper, Alison Gary provides advice on how to achieve personal style no matter your age, size, or budget.

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Dec 5

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The tree is trimmed! 🎄

When I was a single gal, I had the prettiest tree with a color story and theme. 20 years later, my tree is a hodgepodge of inherited ornaments, gifts from loved ones, and handmade pieces from both my childhood and by my child. And I think each year it veers further from the original concept the more beautiful it becomes!

My daughter and I donned our Santa hats, turned on the holiday playlist, a Yule log on the TV, and spent the afternoon getting our home into the Christmas spirit.

When she was little, my husband would pick her up so she could place the star on top of the tree. Now that she’s taller than I am, when he got home he just put his arm around her as she used the library stool to reach the top. Some traditions need to be modified with time but they’re still special! ⭐️

Top is a feather trimmed Breton from @talbotsofficial; the scarf as a belt is also Talbots but a few years old. The jeans are @landsend and the blanket on the chair in the second photo is by artist  @zanderschlacter

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Nov 28

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Just got back from a 4-night getaway with my sister @debbiefaye78 at @curacaomarriottbeachresort. It was a last-minute planned trip that ended up being perfect. We weren’t ready to celebrate Thanksgiving without our mom and this escape what just what our hearts needed. 

I’ll be sharing more once I finally unpack my suitcase and organize my photos and thoughts; but I couldn’t not share this picture from yesterday morning. Debbie and I got up early to enjoy some of the day at the resort before flying home to DC. We had the infinity pool to ourselves, finished our books, and relaxed before a long day of travel. 🌴

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Nov 19

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Working on the weekend is far more enjoyable when it’s in my office 💚

Perimenopause and the pandemic and homeschooling made our row home feel even smaller. So when neighbors revitalized an office building in our town center and offered individual offices for rent, I felt it would be good for business and personally. And I kept it when the world opened up and our kid went back to public school because it helps me have a clear start and end to the work day, but also because I created a space I really enjoy.

This weekend I went to the office to shoot some content. And once I was finished I enjoyed just sitting here, watching the light change. I think I may switch the furniture around, switch up the energy. I love that I can do that without consulting another or having another person’s opinions matter.

When you have a family, things go from me to we. I don’t regret leaving Corporate America to do this full time, but I do miss being part of a team. And I missed having an office, a place away from home that’s just for me. 

I wish more communities would offer rental offices like @thegranitebuilding. With reasonably affordable monthly rates, it doesn’t have to just be business owners who get office spaces. It can be a place to work on a hobby or craft, a place to WFH that’s not home, or a place to just read and write and nap undisturbed. A literal room of one’s own. Because sometimes a person needs time to be a me and not a we. 💚

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Nov 17

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You’re never too old for a Rory Gilmore sweater… this cotton fisherman sweater is from @llbean and inspired by @marielle.elizabeth I shopped the men’s department for a better size range. The influencer influenced the influencer!

The jeans are @landsend I got last year and I’m glad they brought them back this year in several washes, inseam lengths, and plus sizes. If in doubt, size down. They will shrink in length slightly but not anywhere else, they’re super comfy and stretchy but don’t stretch out. 

Kept the collegiate vibe going with a trucker cap, HOKAs, and my trusty commuter bag for years: the large @dagnedover Dakota backpack!

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4o4bQ #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #genxstyle #ltkover40 #over40style

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Nov 15

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My husband has a special backpack he fills with weight to wear while hiking; it’s called rucking. I wear a @dagnedover Dakota and fill it with my laptop, my iPad, a full water bottle, and my purse and walk to work; it’s called commuting. 💁🏻‍♀️

But seriously, I’ve had this backpack for five years. It has been shoved under plane seats, in overstuffed car trunks, under feet in the passenger seat. I’ve worn it as I’ve walked miles in major cities and from my house to my town center. My daughter also has a Dagne Dakota; it survived middle school and continues to work through camping, sleepovers, and road trips. It’s genially designed, comfortable, and can take a beating and still look great.

As for the rest of the look, the vest (XL) is a new purchase from @athleta; the Rainier tights (L) are also Athleta but two years old. The purple top is @nike and about a decade old. Hat is @llbean and it’s on sale for less than $15. And my trusty @hoka sneakers that have had their own set of adventures.

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
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#ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #genxstyle #dagnedoverdakota

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Nov 6

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Another day of early voting for our city election, another outfit I wore as an election judge! 🗳️

I got this sweater set from @mmlafleur last spring and it continues to be a favorite. The color and popcorn stitch makes it wearable three seasons of the year. I’ve styled it with gold heels and dramatic gold earrings, with sneakers and a crossbody belt bag, and more than once with knee-high boots and a scarf at my throat. The color works with brown and black boots, the skirt silhouette and length with heels and flats. These brown riding boots are from @duoboots and almost a decade old. The scarf belonged to my dad; I have a feeling it was styled with a leisure suit back in the day!

I may have been more dressed up than other election judges but I think seeing democracy in action is a cause to celebrate! 🇺🇸

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Nov 4

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Early voting poll worker style 🗳️

I’ve been an election judge (AKA poll worker) for several years but this year I decided to take it a step further and join my city’s Board of Elections. I’m passionate about fair and accessible elections for all. The Board is acting as election judges for early voting so it’s great to use my previous experience on a city level!

I believe voting is a special occasion and I dressed the part. The puff sleeve sweater and pants are from @anntaylor; these pants are the same ones from the suit I wore earlier this week. I added a beloved @hermes scarf as a belt and silver hoops (they belonged to my mom) as a hint of shine.

If your area is having an election this coming week; I implore you to vote. Your voice deserves to be heard. And please ensure your neighbors know of the election and where to vote. 🇺🇸

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Nov 2

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Always fun to see my name in lights! 💡 I was a panelist at the annual @jaofcentralmd Leading Ladies event that connects local high schoolers with women in business. My panel was on using social media for promoting one’s business or personal brand. Along with other social media experts, we guided students and adults on how to create compelling and engaging social content and together created content for the conference’s feed. It was fun and I loved being able to share my almost two decades of personal and professional experience!

The dress code for the conference was business professional and since the event’s theme color was pink, they encouraged us to wear the color. 

This @anntaylor suit has been a favorite since late summer. I’ve dressed it down with a white tank and sneakers and glammed it up with a silk cami and gold heeled sandals. I love how Ann Taylor has petite suiting up to size 16; I know I’m not the only short curvy girl who desires suits and professional attire!

For this event I chose a berry-colored microfiber tank from @lovechicos. I own several of these tanks; they wear like iron and the tight weave and subtle shine make them great shells under suits. 

The look fit the theme but was also comfortable. I was glad to share my expertise and encourage others to see how they can donate their time and knowledge to a local @juniorachievementusa #JALeadingLadies #JALeadingLadies2023 #JACMD #JuniorAchievment

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Oct 18

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Sharing this from my #iPadOS17 thanks to @apple! A bit belated with all that has been going on lately but I’m really enjoying using an iPad to improve how I work, stay organized, and find new ways to be creative. Can I just say that editing video on an iPad instead of a phone is a game changer!

Recently, I attended an event at the gorgeous Apple Carnegie Library hosted by @flourishplanner_ to learn ways to make the most of #iOS17 and it was awesome. I brought my new iPad and learned about the new wallpaper, stickers, and organizing tools.

As for my look, the dress is from @bananarepublic’s summer collection. Kept it comfy with a pair of Samba sneakers and held down the volume of the dress with my black recycled leather @ganni crossbody. Added an old @_jennybird link necklace and a silver cuff I’ve had since the ‘90s.

#todayatapple #genxstyle #midsizestyle #midsizefashion #size14 #over40style

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Oct 17

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I love an excuse to dress up, especially if it’s for a good cause! This weekend was the @thenewdealcafe Masquer-AID fundraiser to support this independent cafe, art gallery, and live music venue in @cityofgreenbelt.

My family and I have loved going to The New Deal Cafe for all these years. Grabbing coffee with friends, having a meal, seeing an amazing band, participating in an open mic or one of their Reel and Meal events. So @debbiefaye78, our mom, and I got tickets and even chipped in for a plaque from us “Ashpes Girls.” 

Our mom passed before she could attend the event; we asked our like a sister best friend @shellymingram to join us in her place and we had a great time, dancing all night as our mom would have, connecting with neighbors, and supporting a local business we all love so much.

As for the outfit, the dress is @ronnykobo the bag is @ganni and I borrowed both from @renttherunway The shoes I’ve had for years and the gold metal mask I found on Amazon and liked how it could mold to my face and not put pressure on my still-healing eye.

And I know y’all will ask because I received so many DMs this weekend when I shared this event in my Stories… my sister’s dress is from @eshakti she bought it a few years ago and it’s even more gorgeous in person!

#newdealcafe #greenbeltisgreat #onlyingreenbelt #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style #greenbeltmd

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