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If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle
Open
For years I’ve trusted @somaintimates for the right bras and the right fit but it had been a while since I visited a Soma boutique to try on all the styles they currently have for a large bust. I must say I was impressed! Knowledgeable staff, extensive collection in larger sizes, and some of the most comfortable and innovative bras in up to H cups! Each body is different but what I loved:

- The Stunning Push-Up: targeted for the DD+ customer gives amazing lift and great shape under fitted knits.

- The Unbelievable Lift Scoop Balconette: sexy, supportive, and so lightweight!

- The Embraceable Wireless: I’ve recommended this wireless bra for large busts for years and was in need for a new one! 

- The Stunning Support Smooth Balconette: this is the perfect t-shirt bra for large busts with padded straps and disappears under knits

- The Stunning Starlet Multi-Way Strapless: recently improved for more support and more comfort, this wireless bra stays put and gives fab shape

I also picked up some of Soma’s iconic Vanishing Edge panties which keep you line-free. The whole Vanishing collection is genius. I loved being able to donate my gently used bras at my local Soma boutique to give to those in need. We all deserve a lift and Soma strives to achieve that. It’s why I’ve been a fan and customer for years and am honored to partner with them. Soma is the perfect fitting bra solution. Visit the link in my bio to shop and to find your local Soma boutique! #SomaPartner #SomaBraFit #SomaStartsWithMe
Open
If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle
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It was so funny and so quick I couldn’t not share! I bought this @hulkenbag a year ago and use it all the time. Carting shoot supplies, groceries, packing for road trips, and carting donations. This weekend @thenewdealcafe in @cityofgreenbelt hosted a community clothing swap so I made sure my family and I went through our summer wardrobes to gather that which we no longer needed or fit.

This wasn’t the first clothing swap and folks in town know my style (and my job) so there were some waiting for my arrival. Look how fast I cleared out this big bag! Speaking of the bag one other swap attendee said she got herself a Hulken after seeing mine in action!

It’s so great to know our old clothes are getting a good life and this bag makes carting them to the cafe so easy! I got my Hulken on Amazon, it comes in other colors and sizes too: https://amzn.to/48iTY4Y yep the bag is as great as all those ads you see on social media, I’m a big fan!
Open
I had to see… I asked my husband how often he thinks about the Roman Empire, and then asked our 14-year-old 😂
Open
#ad Go through my archives on Wardrobe Oxygen and one thing is clear: my family and I are a fan of @bombas socks! From their no-slip no-show socks to their iconic crew socks, Bombas makes great socks for the whole family while having a great heart.

Socks are the #1 requested article of clothing from homeless shelters. For every item purchase from Bombas, one is donated to someone experiencing homelessness. 

Save 20% on your first purchase at Bombas with my exclusive promo code: WARDROBE20

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4ipHy #bombas
Open
Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️
Open
I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4idXm
Open
#throwbackthursday to what I wore 10 years ago in September…

A decade ago I was working full time in an office and was promoted to manage a good portion of my department. My blog was doing quite well, I was featured in local and national publications and websites. I was embracing what I felt to be a polished professional with an edgy vibe. Less color, more interesting accessories, and my first semi-designer bag (I still have that leopard print mini M.A.C. In the back of my closet). 

I have come to embrace color and have way less black in my closet now, but a lot of these looks are timeless and I would wear now… just likely with lower heels! 😂

Do you recall what you were wearing a decade ago? How similar is it to how you dress now?

For more of my throwbacks visit #wo2tbt
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Fashion Advice · January 13, 2015

Don’t Let Purchases Haunt You

This article may contain affiliate links; if you click on a shopping link and make a purchase I may receive a commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. 

nothing haunts us like the things we didn't buy

Have you seen this quote floating around Pinterest? I have and every time I see someone I know pin it I cringe.

I believe in the power of clothing. A great outfit can be a suit of armor that helps you feel confident during a stressful or difficult situation. Wearing a certain type of clothing can show respect to your workplace, to a house of worship, for the deceased, or those hosting an event. And sometimes just the right cut of a dress can take you from schlump to sex goddess.

However there isn’t a single purchase you can make for your closet that will change who you are. I don’t care what name is on the label or how amazing it makes your boobs or ass look, it’s not going to change your brain, your heart, or your soul. And maybe I sound like your mom, but it’s what’s inside that counts.

clothing is only the book jacket to your life novel

Clothing is only the book jacket to your life novel. Choosing clothing that fits and flatters not just your figure but your lifestyle and personality help better represent your novel and may attract more interested readers, but they don’t affect the plot or the outcome.

I’ve caught myself many times doing what I know many of you have done – shopped for a new self. This year I’m going to wear more power colors, I’m going to embrace my femininity, if I start over with a new minimalist capsule wardrobe my life will be simpler, I’m not going to be “that” mom, “that” corporate drone, and yes “that” blogger.

And the closet gets new additions, but one’s core, one’s self is unchanged. Because money can’t buy happiness, and it can’t buy a new soul. It’s easier to throw money at a closet than do self-analysis and work to improve our selves, but it doesn’t work. You have to do the work, not your wardrobe. Life is more than clothes, don’t let purchases define you, don’t let that which was unpurchased haunt you. You’re so much more than what you buy and own, so much more precious and interesting and beautiful. Believe that, and remember that a book jacket is just marketing; the plot of the novel is what really matters.

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Comments

  1. HokieKate says

    January 21, 2015 at 7:52 am

    Great post!

    Reply
  2. Little Red says

    January 14, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    Yes, I’m currently struggling what to do about this one jacket that I recently bought. It’s got a bit of moto styling and you can google pictures of Steve McQueen wearing them while motorcycling. Once I saw them, I felt a bit of a poseur and no longer certain I should keep it.

    Reply
  3. The Modern Savvy says

    January 14, 2015 at 11:39 am

    Totally on board with your style plans for the year — I also want to go more bold, and only shop for things that really round out the look, the person I’m trying to reflect. I’m also returning a lot more… it’s empowering! If I haven’t worn it, I probably won’t. Loved this post/reminder.

    alyson
    http://www.theaveragegirlsguide.com

    Reply
  4. Anastasia says

    January 14, 2015 at 4:48 am

    There are people, mostly women, who post every their new buy on social networks and there are their friends who want to keep up with them. It’s a constant marathon of buying and posting and looking hotter than anybody else. The fear to be left out, not to be considered stylish and successful enough, to be thought of as poor or dull in the condition of having nothing worthy to say or to share pushes many women to buy more to fill in those hollows and to try to create a better picture of themselves in new clothes, shoes, with new bags, ecc. not to feel miserable.
    I myself love shopping for fashion and I did a great wardrobe reboot last year after my baby was born (thanks for the tips you provide in this blog Allie!) and I just felt like a new, better person but I reminded myself I had to improve my inner self even more. Because people do see who you are, no outfit can dress emptiness and shallowness.
    I think the remorse is triggered by not knowing what you want and illuding yourself with the idea of becoming someone else in a new outfit, so people can take a missed chance to buy something for the chance to make a change in their lives. This is where this pinterest quote comes from I believe.

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 14, 2015 at 10:05 am

      As a personal style blogger, my income comes from getting people to buy. The more I can convince people they NEED some purchase in their life, the more I get paid, and the more opportunities come my way. And the more I spend that is new, the easier it is to link just to that item and get other people to click and buy it. I see the reason this quote is popular – we HAVE to buy to look like these women on social networks, and these women on social networks need people to buy to support their shopping habits. I know I am part of this problem, but I hope to balance the shopping posts with other content that may help women make better shopping decisions. You can own the same exact wardrobe as your favorite social media/blogger woman, but you still won’t be her. And truthfully, we all edit our internet lives to look as good as possible or to create a certain persona, so one may not even WANT to be like the person they admire on the Internet!

      Reply
  5. crtfly says

    January 14, 2015 at 12:27 am

    Allie,

    I agree with the other folks about being more likely to regret things I did buy.

    I’ve been thinking about what actually haunts me. They are:
    1. Unexpressed love.
    2. Missed opportunities – sometimes connected with #1 and sometimes not, as in turning down a once-in-a-lifetime adventure.

    Chris

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 14, 2015 at 10:06 am

      YES!

      Reply
  6. Michelle says

    January 13, 2015 at 11:32 pm

    This is why I keep coming back to your blog…so perfectly said! I had to read the quote a few times to make sure it didn’t say the opposite (the way it should be). I have regretted far more purchases than things left in the store. Especially things bought when I’m shopping in a funk, trying to improve my mood. The high never lasts long, no matter how great the item.

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 14, 2015 at 10:07 am

      I must say when I first read it I thought it said the opposite too. Then when I got it, I wondered if it was put out on Pinterest by shopping bloggers or affiliate programs to guilt people even more into buying off blogs. You’re right, the high never lasts and you keep shopping to achieve some sort of perfection that doesn’t exist.

      Reply
  7. janejetson says

    January 13, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    The haunt quote seems to encourage purchasing to avoid regret. I may have lost out on a few items not purchased but I don’t even remember the exact items and they certainly do not haunt me. I am sorry that this quote is so popular and so far away from the original intent. The stores try to get us to buy as much as possible which is their business. I don’t mind the commercial angle but it bothers me that so many on pinterst see something of value in the quote.

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 14, 2015 at 10:08 am

      Agreed!

      Reply
  8. Miss Robin says

    January 13, 2015 at 9:49 pm

    Well said! And much needed, for all ages and stations in life. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 14, 2015 at 10:08 am

      My pleasure!

      Reply
  9. Addy says

    January 13, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    Thank you for this! I remember not too long ago I had it in my head that if I had the perfect wardrobe then my life and myself would become what I wanted it to be-fun, interesting, etc. However I found myself dissatisfied no matter how much I bought. Then I realized that it wasn’t my wardrobe that needed an overhaul- it was myself that needed the overhaul. I needed to grow and change as a person in order to attract the things I wanted. It’s been tough especially being in a city where image is everything but I know that it is necessary. I still try to dress as best as I can but I know that it’s not everything.

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 14, 2015 at 10:09 am

      That’s a tough thing to realize, and a strong smart woman to accept it and work on it. You go, Addy for knowing what is truly important! <3

      Reply
  10. Elle says

    January 13, 2015 at 5:18 pm

    It’s a sad and telling slogan, isn’t it? If not buying a particular item is the major thing haunting a person, imagine that shallow, empty life–what a waste!

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 13, 2015 at 6:27 pm

      Agreed, I’m shocked how popular this quote is. It’s some weird adaptation from Mitch Albom’s “Nothing haunts us like the things we didn’t say.” Not saying goodbye, not saying I love you, not saying I’m sorry… THOSE are things worthy of not being able to sleep at night, not jackets and frocks.

      Reply
  11. Laura says

    January 13, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    What a great post! And no matter how great a piece makes me feel or look, if it’s not money I can afford to spend, THAT is what will haunt me!

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 13, 2015 at 6:25 pm

      YES!

      Reply
  12. CynthiaW says

    January 13, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    Thank you! When I saw that you had posted this pin, I cringed and wondered how you were going to address it since it seemed totally against what you advocate. Honestly, I’m more likely to regret things that I DID purchase than things that I didn’t!

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 13, 2015 at 6:25 pm

      Buyer’s remorse I think is far worse a feeling than dreaming of that dress you didn’t buy!

      Reply
  13. Accidental Icon says

    January 13, 2015 at 11:04 am

    Such a great post. It really does not matter what piece of clothing you buy or own, but more the person you are wearing it. You can look ravishing in a find from a thrift store. Clothing is a way of communicating who we are, who we would like to be and where we see ourselves belonging in the world. In the past, I always had buyer’s remorse especially when I bought something to make myself feel better. These days I find it easier to be thoughtful. Also thanks for the mention on Facebook!

    Accidental Icon
    http://www.accidentalicon.com

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 13, 2015 at 6:24 pm

      My pleasure, love your style and your blog!

      Reply
  14. Patricia says

    January 13, 2015 at 10:12 am

    Well said. Actually I look in my closet and regret what I did buy. It’s too easy to get a buzz from shopping and buying something you think is wonderful and will totally change your wardrobe if not your life. I get a bigger buzz from returning it and not wasting my money. I’m on a “shopping diet” until all the “not that greats” are out of the closet. And I may not need to buy anything new once I can see what I already have.

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 13, 2015 at 6:24 pm

      I too get that buzz from returning!

      Reply
    • DC Celine says

      January 13, 2015 at 10:45 pm

      I love this – “until all the ‘not that greats’ are out of the closet.” I think I’ll steal it – ok with you?

      Reply
      • Patricia says

        January 14, 2015 at 9:43 am

        Love it. Steal away. I’m currently trying out different looks each day and what didn’t work is hitting the go away box. Nothing is going unworn or at least tried on.

        Reply
  15. Patti says

    January 13, 2015 at 9:48 am

    Brava for this! We are so much more than what we buy and own, love that. xox

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 13, 2015 at 6:27 pm

      <3

      Reply
  16. DC Celine says

    January 13, 2015 at 9:18 am

    That your clothes reflect you is true – to an extent. Of course we feel good when we feel like we look good. But ultimately, that hard work you mention, the work to improve ourselves? Ouch. It’s so hard it hurts. As one who’s wandered Target and even grocery store aisles to settle down or even – in a misplaced way – to center myself, well…I’ll just leave it there. I know better, but it’s so much easier said than done.

    Reply
    • Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

      January 13, 2015 at 6:24 pm

      Agree, and I won’t deny that I sometimes do it. But I’ve also ended up with buyer’s remorse, wearing items maybe once for that quick fix, but needing another fix, another dress, another lipstick…

      Reply
      • DC Celine says

        January 13, 2015 at 10:45 pm

        I hear you…it’s so easy to get sucked in. H and I had a big “we just buy too much stuff” conversation tonight. We’re all going to pay more attention.

        Reply

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Since 2005, Wardrobe Oxygen has offered real-life style advice for grown-ass women. With years of experience as an apparel visual merchandiser and personal shopper, Alison Gary provides advice on how to achieve personal style no matter your age, size, or budget.

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Sep 21

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If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle

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Sep 19

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If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle

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Sep 11

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Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️

wardrobe_oxygen

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Sep 8

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I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
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Sep 5

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I’ll be a bit quiet on here and other channels because I had eye (retinal) surgery this past weekend. I was having what I thought were ocular migraines but come to find out I was experiencing lattice degeneration, which is thinning/holes in the retina. I had surgery Saturday for my right eye and later on they’ll work on the left eye, which isn’t as bad and can be remedied by laser, in office.

I share not because I’m Mrs. Frizzle meets Iris Apfel as I recuperate at home, but because this whole thing has been a lesson on trusting my gut. And I want to remind you to do the same.

As we get older our bodies can feel like strangers. Things are constantly changing and it’s easy to just assume your annual physical will catch anything wrong. But if you slow down and listen to your body you’ll know when things are just a sign of aging and life and what seems unusual. That nagging issue may be something more serious.

And if you’re seeing flashing lights, floaters, spiderwebs or other odd eye things get checked out ASAP. It may be nothing but take it from me, it may actually be something. ❤️

Okay, going back to my big sunglasses caftan recuperation life!

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Aug 30

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Ladies who lunch…

While in Savannah, I made sure to get lunch reservations for me and E at @theoldepinkhouse she loves the color pink, historic homes, and ghost stories so it was a perfect choice! 

Built in 1789 on Reynolds Square, there are stories of guests seeing ghosts, cutlery and wine bottles moving along with an elegant and truly delicious dining. 

While we didn’t see any apparitions, we did have a lovely lunch with impeccable service and after toured all floors of the home. I highly recommend a visit if you’re visiting Savannah!

My dress is from @cosstores (no longer available); hat is @furtalk and bag is @talbotsofficial (no longer available).

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Aug 29

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Scenes from a week in Savannah… 

The three of us (and our dog Oscar!) had a warm and humid but wonderful time exploring Savannah, Georgia earlier this month. Our daughter visited this gorgeous city last summer with her @girlscouts troop but wanted to return to experience more. We let her choose our adventures and play your guide and it was awesome. We cannot wait to visit again, though next time it won’t be August 🥵

For more of our trip check the “Savannah” highlight on my profile page!

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Aug 28

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Stripes are always right…

Y’all know I love stripes and when @universalstandard came out with their Breton-stripe dresses and tops I HAD to try them! As expected, the quality is stellar, the fit boosts my confidence, and I appreciate the range of colors (5 different stripes to choose from) and sizes (00-50). For reference, I’m wearing XS but preferred S for the top and I usually wear a 14 or XL in other brands.

The tote is @able and it’s a soft yet durable leather that just looks better with time. This color (cognac) is one that transitions nicely from summer to fall. 

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4hkEF 

#usinthewild #bretonstripes #midsizestyle #midsizefashion #size14 #over40style

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Aug 27

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The family that wears @printfresh together stays together 🥰

Use code wardrobe_oxygen for 15% off your order of size-inclusive organic cotton sleepwear, dresses, bags & more https://glnk.io/qk04/wardrobe-oxygen

I’ve been raving about my Printfresh pajamas for years, my family also wanted to try them. Thank you Printfresh for gifting these for our annual three generation girls’ getaway to Rehoboth Beach, DE. We had a great time and being all matchy matchy in our pajamas was a fun addition! 🐅🍃🥰

#printfresh #printfreshpajamas #printfreshpartner

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Aug 12

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Shuts laptop until Monday… #RehobothBeach

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