Open
Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jnDf #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style
Open
If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle
Open
For years I’ve trusted @somaintimates for the right bras and the right fit but it had been a while since I visited a Soma boutique to try on all the styles they currently have for a large bust. I must say I was impressed! Knowledgeable staff, extensive collection in larger sizes, and some of the most comfortable and innovative bras in up to H cups! Each body is different but what I loved:

- The Stunning Push-Up: targeted for the DD+ customer gives amazing lift and great shape under fitted knits.

- The Unbelievable Lift Scoop Balconette: sexy, supportive, and so lightweight!

- The Embraceable Wireless: I’ve recommended this wireless bra for large busts for years and was in need for a new one! 

- The Stunning Support Smooth Balconette: this is the perfect t-shirt bra for large busts with padded straps and disappears under knits

- The Stunning Starlet Multi-Way Strapless: recently improved for more support and more comfort, this wireless bra stays put and gives fab shape

I also picked up some of Soma’s iconic Vanishing Edge panties which keep you line-free. The whole Vanishing collection is genius. I loved being able to donate my gently used bras at my local Soma boutique to give to those in need. We all deserve a lift and Soma strives to achieve that. It’s why I’ve been a fan and customer for years and am honored to partner with them. Soma is the perfect fitting bra solution. Visit the link in my bio to shop and to find your local Soma boutique! #SomaPartner #SomaBraFit #SomaStartsWithMe
Open
If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle
Open
It was so funny and so quick I couldn’t not share! I bought this @hulkenbag a year ago and use it all the time. Carting shoot supplies, groceries, packing for road trips, and carting donations. This weekend @thenewdealcafe in @cityofgreenbelt hosted a community clothing swap so I made sure my family and I went through our summer wardrobes to gather that which we no longer needed or fit.

This wasn’t the first clothing swap and folks in town know my style (and my job) so there were some waiting for my arrival. Look how fast I cleared out this big bag! Speaking of the bag one other swap attendee said she got herself a Hulken after seeing mine in action!

It’s so great to know our old clothes are getting a good life and this bag makes carting them to the cafe so easy! I got my Hulken on Amazon, it comes in other colors and sizes too: https://amzn.to/48iTY4Y yep the bag is as great as all those ads you see on social media, I’m a big fan!
Open
I had to see… I asked my husband how often he thinks about the Roman Empire, and then asked our 14-year-old 😂
Open
#ad Go through my archives on Wardrobe Oxygen and one thing is clear: my family and I are a fan of @bombas socks! From their no-slip no-show socks to their iconic crew socks, Bombas makes great socks for the whole family while having a great heart.

Socks are the #1 requested article of clothing from homeless shelters. For every item purchase from Bombas, one is donated to someone experiencing homelessness. 

Save 20% on your first purchase at Bombas with my exclusive promo code: WARDROBE20

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4ipHy #bombas
Open
Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️
Open
I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4idXm
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Fashion Advice · November 2, 2010

Showing Respect

This article may contain affiliate links; if you click on a shopping link and make a purchase I may receive a commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. 

Clothes are never a frivolity: they always mean something.
– James Laver

Dress codes don’t exist to force everyone to look alike. They aren’t around to remove all creativity from your wardrobe. They are there to help people dress properly for situations. One dresses appropriately for a situation not to squelch his own sartorial voice, but to show respect for an event and the organizers and hosts of said event.

Clothes can suggest, persuade, connote, insinuate, or indeed lie, and apply subtle pressure while their wearer is speaking frankly and straightforwardly of other matters.
– Anne Hollander

When you choose to go against a dress code, you are saying that you don’t care about the event, the situation, the guest of honor, the person who went to the trouble to organize the event. You only care for yourself.

We act the way we dress. Neglected and untidy clothes reflect a neglected and untidy mind.
– Anonymous

When you are invited to a wedding, attending the funeral of a loved one, seeing your cousin graduate from college or participate in the showering of love (and gifts) for a friend who is pregnant, what you wear is an outward statement to the rest of the participants about how you feel, what you think, your opinion on the event and the people associated with it.

This doesn’t mean that you have to blend into the woodwork, it just means you need to think of others when dressing for certain events.

Weddings
The couple (and/or their parents) spent a lot of time and thought and money on this event. They chose a location, music, food to represent them, their love, and their love for you – their guest. A couple wants their guests to be comfortable and have fun; in turn a guest should always remember that at any wedding, the focus should be on the couple, not the guest.

Weddings that start at or after 5:00pm are more formal affairs, weddings during the day can be a bit more casual. Always look to the invitation for the tone of the affair – usually a formal invitation means a more formal event, a casual invitation means the attire can be more relaxed. A safe bet is a simple sheath or cocktail dress – it can easily dress up or down and be versatile. One shouldn’t wear anything too revealing or flashy – remember the bride is the center of attention and you could very well be in many of the photographs from the event. Regarding what color to wear – red, white and black used to be off limits, but these days it seems as though most anything is acceptable. Most still frown on a guest wearing a predominately white dress – that color (and ivory, and winter white) should be left to the bride (even if the bride doesn’t choose to wear that color). Black and red are becoming far more appropriate, though bright red is still often frowned upon, especially by older generations.

If you are unsure, do not hesitate to contact a family member or attendant in the wedding – they will know the details of the wedding and can assist you in finding the most appropriate thing to wear.

As for the bride, these days one can get married in most anything (or nothing at all!). That doesn’t mean one should show up in sweats. Whether your Big Day is in your backyard or a ballroom, dress for respect of the seriousness of the event. It doesn’t matter whether you have just met a week ago, or have been living together for a decade – a wedding is more than a piece of paper and a tax break. Wear clothes that you love, that love you, and show you put thought and care into this life decision.

Funerals
Gone are the days where a woman should wear a black dress, hose and veil. However it is still important to show respect to the deceased and his loved ones. You should dress in a manner that you would if attending a house of worship – nice trousers, a dress or skirt. No need to adorn yourself in all black, but leave the chartreuse and fuchsia for another time. My go-to outfit is a simple matte jersey wrap dress in a dark color and simple black leather pumps. Again, this event is not about you, but the deceased. Unless the deceased wanted a costume party or celebration for his funeral, show respect and wear nice clothes in good condition and in a more subtle hue.

Dinners and Holidays
Thanksgiving at the inlaws, your uncle’s 50th birthday dinner, Passover Seder at your neighbor’s house. These events come up several times over the year. The host spent a lot of time creating the menu, cleaning her house, choosing the guest list. What you wear shows that you appreciate the effort made, and are honored to be invited.

No need for ballgowns, but it is nice to wear trousers or a simple skirt in place of jeans, boots or loafers in place of sneakers, sweaters and blouses in place of sweats. Your host will inform you if there is a more specific or formal dress code. If it is a family member or friend you know well and are sure the dress code is very casual, by all means dress in that form – you don’t want to upstage your host. However if you are unsure, you can’t go wrong with a simple pair of pants, sweater and boots, or a more casual dress and sandals or tall boots.

If you are the host, consider taking the time to change from your tee and jeans from cleaning and cooking to a bit nicer of clothing for when guests arrive. This shows your respect for them, and your thanks for their attendance. If you’re worried about getting food or dishwater on your clothes, well that is what aprons are for!

Baby Showers, Bridal Showers, and Birthdays
Attire is pretty similar to that of dinners and holidays – no need for ballgowns and elbow-length gloves, but you do want to wear nicer clothing that shows respect for the guest and care for yourself.

These sorts of events are more festive, and a great opportunity to wear your fun floral-print cotton sundress, your candy-colored twinset, your new Pucci-print mules. It’s a happy occasion, a time for candles, flowers, and bows. Take this cheer into thought when choosing your wardrobe and it will show how happy you are for the guest of honor.

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Comments

  1. RoseAG says

    November 4, 2010 at 11:17 am

    My Dad died recently. I’d gone out to be with him in a rush and hadn’t really been thinking about taking something to wear to his funeral. Then once he died I didn’t feel like buying something to wear — it’s not exactly a “new clothes” event.

    So I wore a print dress and jacket to the wake, and brown pants/same jacket to the funeral. I stood up for hours shaking hands and greeting people.

    I think wearing what you’d wear to church, and some churches encourage people to be casual because they don’t want excuses about why they can’t come, is appropriate. But you should keep in mind that church attire is highly regional.

    Reply
  2. kathy says

    November 3, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    I agree that this should be mandatory reading. I never really thought of what you wear to a dinner or holiday event in terms of respect for the host. But it’s so true. Now I know why I get annoyed at my inlaws when they show up for a nice dinner wearing sweatpants.

    Reply
  3. CynthiaW says

    November 3, 2010 at 2:49 am

    It’s too bad that this post can’t be required reading for everyone. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve been completely appalled by someone’s attire at a funeral in recent years. I’ve been at two in the last 10 years where someone showed up in a track suit. Seriously? A track suit? And, no, neither of the deceased was part of a running club or a track coach. I was at another funeral where a child (about age 10) was allowed to wear cargo shorts and a polo – again, seriously? It wasn’t even warm out that day (not that the weather is the point), but it made the outfit especially ridiculous. Obviously, it isn’t the kid’s fault – it’s the parents’, but I was just flabbergasted.

    Reply
  4. Randa says

    November 2, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    LOVE this post – I think a lot more people should read this post. I always hate when I go to something like a wedding or a funeral and someone’s wearing raggedy jeans or a mini-skirt barely covering anything. It just seems so disrespectful. Of course, I agree with you – the host/hostess really set the tone for how casual/formal the party should be but you should look nice when going to a party out of respect.

    Reply

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My Wardrobe Today – Monday

Since 2005, Wardrobe Oxygen has offered real-life style advice for grown-ass women. With years of experience as an apparel visual merchandiser and personal shopper, Alison Gary provides advice on how to achieve personal style no matter your age, size, or budget.

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Sep 23

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Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jnDf #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style

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Sep 21

Open
If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle

wardrobe_oxygen

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Sep 19

Open
If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle

wardrobe_oxygen

View

Sep 11

Open
Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️

wardrobe_oxygen

View

Sep 8

Open
I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4idXm

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Sep 5

Open
I’ll be a bit quiet on here and other channels because I had eye (retinal) surgery this past weekend. I was having what I thought were ocular migraines but come to find out I was experiencing lattice degeneration, which is thinning/holes in the retina. I had surgery Saturday for my right eye and later on they’ll work on the left eye, which isn’t as bad and can be remedied by laser, in office.

I share not because I’m Mrs. Frizzle meets Iris Apfel as I recuperate at home, but because this whole thing has been a lesson on trusting my gut. And I want to remind you to do the same.

As we get older our bodies can feel like strangers. Things are constantly changing and it’s easy to just assume your annual physical will catch anything wrong. But if you slow down and listen to your body you’ll know when things are just a sign of aging and life and what seems unusual. That nagging issue may be something more serious.

And if you’re seeing flashing lights, floaters, spiderwebs or other odd eye things get checked out ASAP. It may be nothing but take it from me, it may actually be something. ❤️

Okay, going back to my big sunglasses caftan recuperation life!

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Aug 30

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Ladies who lunch…

While in Savannah, I made sure to get lunch reservations for me and E at @theoldepinkhouse she loves the color pink, historic homes, and ghost stories so it was a perfect choice! 

Built in 1789 on Reynolds Square, there are stories of guests seeing ghosts, cutlery and wine bottles moving along with an elegant and truly delicious dining. 

While we didn’t see any apparitions, we did have a lovely lunch with impeccable service and after toured all floors of the home. I highly recommend a visit if you’re visiting Savannah!

My dress is from @cosstores (no longer available); hat is @furtalk and bag is @talbotsofficial (no longer available).

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Aug 29

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Scenes from a week in Savannah… 

The three of us (and our dog Oscar!) had a warm and humid but wonderful time exploring Savannah, Georgia earlier this month. Our daughter visited this gorgeous city last summer with her @girlscouts troop but wanted to return to experience more. We let her choose our adventures and play your guide and it was awesome. We cannot wait to visit again, though next time it won’t be August 🥵

For more of our trip check the “Savannah” highlight on my profile page!

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Aug 28

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Stripes are always right…

Y’all know I love stripes and when @universalstandard came out with their Breton-stripe dresses and tops I HAD to try them! As expected, the quality is stellar, the fit boosts my confidence, and I appreciate the range of colors (5 different stripes to choose from) and sizes (00-50). For reference, I’m wearing XS but preferred S for the top and I usually wear a 14 or XL in other brands.

The tote is @able and it’s a soft yet durable leather that just looks better with time. This color (cognac) is one that transitions nicely from summer to fall. 

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4hkEF 

#usinthewild #bretonstripes #midsizestyle #midsizefashion #size14 #over40style

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Aug 27

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The family that wears @printfresh together stays together 🥰

Use code wardrobe_oxygen for 15% off your order of size-inclusive organic cotton sleepwear, dresses, bags & more https://glnk.io/qk04/wardrobe-oxygen

I’ve been raving about my Printfresh pajamas for years, my family also wanted to try them. Thank you Printfresh for gifting these for our annual three generation girls’ getaway to Rehoboth Beach, DE. We had a great time and being all matchy matchy in our pajamas was a fun addition! 🐅🍃🥰

#printfresh #printfreshpajamas #printfreshpartner

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