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Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jnDf #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style
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If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle
Open
For years I’ve trusted @somaintimates for the right bras and the right fit but it had been a while since I visited a Soma boutique to try on all the styles they currently have for a large bust. I must say I was impressed! Knowledgeable staff, extensive collection in larger sizes, and some of the most comfortable and innovative bras in up to H cups! Each body is different but what I loved:

- The Stunning Push-Up: targeted for the DD+ customer gives amazing lift and great shape under fitted knits.

- The Unbelievable Lift Scoop Balconette: sexy, supportive, and so lightweight!

- The Embraceable Wireless: I’ve recommended this wireless bra for large busts for years and was in need for a new one! 

- The Stunning Support Smooth Balconette: this is the perfect t-shirt bra for large busts with padded straps and disappears under knits

- The Stunning Starlet Multi-Way Strapless: recently improved for more support and more comfort, this wireless bra stays put and gives fab shape

I also picked up some of Soma’s iconic Vanishing Edge panties which keep you line-free. The whole Vanishing collection is genius. I loved being able to donate my gently used bras at my local Soma boutique to give to those in need. We all deserve a lift and Soma strives to achieve that. It’s why I’ve been a fan and customer for years and am honored to partner with them. Soma is the perfect fitting bra solution. Visit the link in my bio to shop and to find your local Soma boutique! #SomaPartner #SomaBraFit #SomaStartsWithMe
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If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle
Open
It was so funny and so quick I couldn’t not share! I bought this @hulkenbag a year ago and use it all the time. Carting shoot supplies, groceries, packing for road trips, and carting donations. This weekend @thenewdealcafe in @cityofgreenbelt hosted a community clothing swap so I made sure my family and I went through our summer wardrobes to gather that which we no longer needed or fit.

This wasn’t the first clothing swap and folks in town know my style (and my job) so there were some waiting for my arrival. Look how fast I cleared out this big bag! Speaking of the bag one other swap attendee said she got herself a Hulken after seeing mine in action!

It’s so great to know our old clothes are getting a good life and this bag makes carting them to the cafe so easy! I got my Hulken on Amazon, it comes in other colors and sizes too: https://amzn.to/48iTY4Y yep the bag is as great as all those ads you see on social media, I’m a big fan!
Open
I had to see… I asked my husband how often he thinks about the Roman Empire, and then asked our 14-year-old 😂
Open
#ad Go through my archives on Wardrobe Oxygen and one thing is clear: my family and I are a fan of @bombas socks! From their no-slip no-show socks to their iconic crew socks, Bombas makes great socks for the whole family while having a great heart.

Socks are the #1 requested article of clothing from homeless shelters. For every item purchase from Bombas, one is donated to someone experiencing homelessness. 

Save 20% on your first purchase at Bombas with my exclusive promo code: WARDROBE20

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4ipHy #bombas
Open
Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️
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I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4idXm
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Health and Wellness, The Business of Blogging, Wellbeing · March 22, 2018

Caution, Steep Grade Ahead

This article may contain affiliate links; if you click on a shopping link and make a purchase I may receive a commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. 

steep grade aheadI love this text exchange between me, my sister, and my mom. It really sums up who we are, our relationship, and our attitude about life. Things go wrong. Things get sad, or bad, and dark. We fall into pits of despair. And then dammit, we find a way to crawl out. Sometimes we need help, but once we realize we're in that pit, we do everything we can to get out.

I really thought quitting my job would solve things. I'd walk out of my company and walk right out of that pit. The thing is, I thought the pit wasn't that deep but I was wrong. Quitting my job helped me get up to a ledge, but not to the top. So I've been looking for other tools to help crawl out.

Working out has definitely been one of them. I started training with Elite Technique at the beginning of December. I have committed to go every weekday, and also committed to not judge my worth by any number on the scale or my jeans. Since the focus is on strength and not weightloss, this hasn't been so hard. I can remember how much I'd beat up myself and self-sabotage when on diets; when going to the gym every day the only way to self-sabotage is to not go. So I Instagram Story after every workout, to hold myself accountable. But working out has helped me sleep better, cut down on cravings and binge eating, improved my skin, I don't snore any more, and well, I look better. I feel as though I am reclaiming my body. I didn't realize how disconnected I was from this body, and it makes me realize how I pretty much have been since having Emerson. I was an incubator, then a food source, a pillow and security blanket, a transportation vehicle… everything but an individual. And while she's grown to not need most of those things (I'm going to treasure being a security blanket/comfort as long as she'll let me), I never regained my sense of self. Starting each morning building muscle and pushing myself farther than I ever have is such a powerful way to rebuild the relationship with my body and help me get out of the pit.

But that hasn't been enough. Working out brought me up to another ledge in the pit. I can see the sky, but I'm still surrounded by dirt.

Sometimes I feel as though I am driving a truck down a mountain. The road winds around, sharp turns, on the edge of the cliff. I feel I have control, I take the curves like a champ. But the weight of the truck and the grade of the mountain is making it tougher and the brakes aren't working. I'm gripping the steering wheel and using the techniques my dad taught me when I learned to drive to take these curves but I feel I am right on the edge of losing control. It's thrilling and terrifying and I can visualize a crash coming.

When I was 21, this feeling was exhilarating. I'd write amazing papers at 3am after drinking for hours. I'd kiss dangerous boys and go to underground clubs and smoke pot and dance until dawn in my bra and then go to work and impress my boss with my dedication. I'd crash every so often, drop out of a class or miss life for a week, but I'd be back better than ever. This feeling is not fun when you're 43.

My mind never shuts off. I lie in bed for at least an hour after Karl has fallen asleep, thinking of things, thinking of everything. Replaying the day, or even a situation from two years ago in my head. How I should have handled it, how it could have been improved, how I messed it up. I'd wake up at 3am with a start, and not be able to get back to sleep. Smartphones and social media hasn't helped. I'd wake up and immediately check my email, then Instagram, then Facebook, then Twitter. As I brush my teeth before I go to bed I scroll through my phone. When I'm in line, waiting for a friend, someone leaves the table at a restaurant to use the bathroom I'm on my phone. In my car I'm listening to podcasts, when I'm waiting for water to boil I'm playing 1010. I've tried to meditate. I got the apps, listened to the YouTube videos, bought the books to no avail.

I had heard about Transcendental Meditation, but figured it was just another trendy thing celebrities did. Then I read a profile on David Lynch in GQ and it piqued my interest in TM. I started saving my money, either for going on a silent retreat somewhere or TM or something that would force me to learn how to quiet my mind. A few weeks ago, I decided to use that money on Transcendental Meditation classes.

You go to an intro session, and if it sounds good to you, you sign up for four days in a row of 90-minute training. The first day is a one-on-one session, then three days of group lessons. It's so simplistic you may feel the first day as though you got screwed over by the price. But even with serious Googling you can't truly learn TM without the in-person lessons. I know, I tried. A week later, you have a check-in, and then a week after that (my second check-in is today).

The class had military veterans, a surgeon, a stay at home mom, a professor, a grad student, a retiree. They all seemed to get it better than I did. They discussed how easy it was, how they instantly felt better, more energized, better able to handle stressful situations. I struggled just to stay awake in class, even though it wasn't late in the evening and I drank coffee on the ride over. It was like my brain was fighting against meditation, wanting to stay busy 24/7.

With TM, you're not forcing your mind to stop thinking; in fact, all sorts of thoughts may come up and you just let them happen and move on. And boy did thoughts come up, thoughts of my difficult years in high school where I let gossip and jealousy damage friendships. College where my crazy truck down a mountain mentality had me doing mean and risky things and the consequences from them. Day 2 of TM, after class, I met a friend from high school for coffee which was awesome, but reminiscing combined with these thoughts made me a complete mess. That day I also wrote some spiteful replies to comments on my blog in response to some mean-spirited and some innocent questions. My inbox was full of rejection, criticism, and frustration. Day 3 started waking from a nightmare that starred High School Allie. I went to the gym, and it's like with sweat out came these emotions. I went on a rant on InstaStories. That afternoon I received an email from a casual friend asking me to volunteer for an activity. I forwarded it to my sister, complaining about how people think since I don't “have a real job” I suddenly have all this free time. She replied, and I replied to her, totally venting about all the issues I have with this project and the people associated with it. I didn't send it to my sister, I accidentally sent it back to the friend. My truck just careened off the side of the cliff. I was spiteful, gossipy Allie of my teens and I was devastated. I didn't even really believe all I wrote, but I showed my true colors. I'm the same bitch I've always been. Lucky for me, that friend is a really amazing and decent human being and after a phone call apologizing she agreed to pretend the email never happened. Day 4, I saw in my analytics that I was being discussed on three different message boards and forums, discussing my Botox and my rant. It put me in a bit of a tailspin. I wondered if TM was healthy for me considering what a mess it was making me. But I continued to meditate twice a day. And each time I meditated, things got easier.

I find myself losing my phone, leaving it in a coat pocket or next to my bed. I've started reading books again instead of scrolling through blogs and online articles. I read half a novel on my train commute to NYC this week, and even meditated on the train.

Sometimes 20 minutes of meditating goes by like a flash, more often I struggle to get through. Sometimes I'm not sure if I fell asleep. The thoughts still come but I rarely remember what I was thinking about when the session is over. Twice I've had moments where I have felt… IT. Calm, serene, below the fray. I feel the more I practice, the more likely I'll have IT.

I was chatting with a friend about being this age, dealing with stress and sadness and pain of work, relationships, and life. She said she missed the vigor she used to have and wishes to have it again. I've realized we'll never have that vigor we had a decade ago… but that's not a bad thing. With each moment in life there's a different goal. Right now, at 43, my goal is peace. I don't want to live a life that feels like I'm driving a runaway truck. I want to feel peace with my decisions at the end of the day when I rest my head on my pillow. I think I'm heading in the right decision, but I realize it's not going to be instant or easy. But I'm up for the challenge, and seeing the benefits of this journey.

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In: Health and Wellness, The Business of Blogging, Wellbeing

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Comments

  1. Julia S. says

    March 23, 2018 at 6:16 pm

    I figured your angry responses to the Botox/ptosis comments were born out of exhaustion and overwhelmedness. Honoring you for acknowledging that, but especially for taking steps to dig yourself out of that mental space.

    My therapist calls what you describe as your earlier-life habits “overfunctioning”, and one of the lessons I’ve learned from chronic illness is that that can be a dangerous place to be. All my support for your decision to find other ways to be in the world.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:14 pm

      Thank you Julia!

      Reply
  2. Chris says

    March 23, 2018 at 12:24 pm

    When I was 21 did I feel better, more energetic, less pain than today? No, not really. How about 11 or 7. No.

    I often wonder if it is worse to remember a time when a person felt good and then lament its passing. Or is it worse to have always felt awful so there is no contrast. I can’t answer that. I don’t feel much worse than I ever did.

    When did I feel the best? Not good, mind you, but better? That was when I was spending 10 hours a week in the gym and walking 25 miles a week.

    I support anything you can do to make your life better physically, mentally, spiritually. It’s great to hear that you are going to the gym often and now you are meditating,

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:15 pm

      Much love to you Chris

      Reply
  3. Margaret says

    March 23, 2018 at 9:14 am

    I appreciate your honesty and openness. All these changes you are making are hard work but so helpful. I’m 54 and on the other side of menopause and having strategies in place before perimenopause began would have been very helpful to me. I had no idea about how the hormonal ups and downs would effect me. I had so much general anxiety and insomnia and creeping weight gain that I’m still getting over now. I hate to be a debbie downer when you are doing these positive things but I had no idea much perimenopause would effect me and that it was such a lengthy process. I wish someone could have given me a heads up so I could have known more about what to expect.

    Reply
    • Jacquie says

      March 24, 2018 at 4:19 pm

      I second what Margaret is saying, peri-menopause slammed me to the ground and I had no idea what it was. I had just had a baby at 40 yrs of age, menopause was a decade away, right? Hormones were off because of late life pregnancy, right? NO! No one told me about peri-menopause. Women, older women need to be more open about sharing what might happen. I wish my mother had, but she had already passed. It’s part of life, part of being a phenonomenal woman. It shouldn’t be a secret no one tLks about.

      Reply
      • Alison Gary says

        March 26, 2018 at 7:19 pm

        I definitely plan to share once it happens, and I know it’s right around the corner. Thank you for sharing this Jacquie!

        Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:17 pm

      No, I am glad you’re sharing this and it’s something I think about and know is around the corner. I plan to share my experience. I think of all the times I felt I was the only one or abnormal and then I’d find personal stories shared on the internet and know that even those these people were strangers, I wasn’t alone. Thank you for sharing.

      Reply
  4. Fran says

    March 23, 2018 at 6:44 am

    Allie, I rarely comment, but I really admire you. I will just say “ditto” to all the earlier comments, since they were so well said. Thank you for this blog!

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:18 pm

      Thank you Fran!

      Reply
  5. LindaR says

    March 22, 2018 at 8:10 pm

    Allie,
    Your honesty and courage are the main reason I follow your blog. It’s not all about fashion but about a life journey with your family and friends. I understand very much how you feel. Past mistakes and heartache can linger over the years. Why do we beat ourselves up over the past? Self-double can cripple our forward movement. Even at age 66, some days, I feel like a great pretender, an imposter at work with colleagues and students. Then a positive comment from another can part the clouds. Be gentle with yourself, Allie. You’ll find your new rhythm in time.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:20 pm

      Thank you Linda <3

      Reply
  6. Sacha says

    March 22, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    Your vulnerability on the blog is amazing. Thank you for sharing all you do with us. Give yourself the grace I’m sure you have for others (these incidents aside).

    Also, don’t say “gypped”. Most people don’t realize it’s offensive but it is. I know you didn’t intend offense, which is why I’m sharing this with you: https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2013/12/30/242429836/why-being-gypped-hurts-the-roma-more-than-it-hurts-you

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 22, 2018 at 7:09 pm

      THANK YOU FOR THIS. I will update it immediately.

      Reply
    • LindaR says

      March 22, 2018 at 8:16 pm

      Sasha,
      Thank you for educating us on the origin of this word. I didn’t know until now.

      Reply
  7. Tiffany says

    March 22, 2018 at 6:13 pm

    Another amazing post. Your honesty is inspiring. But I’m also with the others who say you’re way too hard on yourself. We’re all fallible; we all have days or even weeks when we’re not our best selves … And meditation is incredible. I did a 10-day silent meditation course a couple of years back and it completely changed my life.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:20 pm

      That sounds like an amazing experience!

      Reply
  8. Dawn says

    March 22, 2018 at 6:06 pm

    Thank you for posting this today. Knowing I’m not alone helps so much, and your words and the comments make that so clear. I started meditation last year when things reached a tipping point in my life and it’s helped so much. I use the Calm app and also something called Yoga Nidra for Healing Trauma by Molly Birkholm and it all helps so much.

    Reply
    • Dawn says

      March 22, 2018 at 6:10 pm

      Wow, using my phone to comment and posted before I could finish or edit—lol. Anyway, I wanted to add that I’m thinking of you and truly appreciate your raw honesty here. You are helping me, and I’m so grateful!

      Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:21 pm

      My husband teaches yoga and incorporates a bit of yoga Nidra. I’ll have to check out that book, thank you for these suggestions!

      Reply
  9. bubu says

    March 22, 2018 at 3:40 pm

    Wow. I don’t know you at all and yet I feel like I “get” you – or you get me, or maybe, like so many of your readers, we are all in some ways all just trying to walk the path. I have been meditating for years (not TM) and reading Buddhist writings and it has helped me process so much, and also given me tools to help handle stress and emotions and a sometimes hair-trigger sharp tongue and anger reflex. Keep at it. Exercise too – I started doing it regularly in the last few years, and I agree with all the improvements you mention — mood, sleep, skin, etc.

    I’m very curious to hear more about your TM experience. I happen to have taken out a couple library books on it by the same author who wrote the definitive book on SAD (which, if you think you might be suffering too, read WINTER BLUES by Norman Rosenthal and if it resonates at all, I tell you, tone of those light lamps was a GAME CHANGER for me this year). Anyway, his books make clear you really have to try it, not just read about it, and I can’t help wondering how or whether it is so much better or different than other kinds of (free) meditation.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:27 pm

      I don’t think TM is necessarily better than any other form of meditation, just a different route to take to the same goal. And YES to those light lamps! I got one when I was working in a windowless office that was painted brown. I now use it in my home office!

      Reply
  10. Julia says

    March 22, 2018 at 3:40 pm

    I did TM for a while. I didn’t go to any classes, I just got the info on how to do it online. I got into the habit a while ago and then got out of it for various reasons. I go back to it sometimes, sometimes I do guided meditation podcasts, sometimes I do a little ten minute one on the headspace app, and sometimes I just sit quietly with some incense and concentrate on breathing. My point is – for your readers or anyone who might be intimidated by TM or other meditation methods – is that there are all sorts of ways to go about meditating. You can get significant benefits from even just doing 5 or 10 minutes a day!

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:28 pm

      I fully agree! it’s amazing how just five minutes can make such a positive impact and have such lasting effects!

      Reply
  11. L H Carter says

    March 22, 2018 at 1:51 pm

    Yeah, being older does mean I have less vigor. That’s hard to implement a new behavior . It means I have to consider and choose where I apply my time and energy.
    I choose to pray rather than meditate. Your post today validated me even though we address our emotions, intentions, and actions in differing ways. Thanks for that and I appreciate how you share your insides and not just your outsides (makeup and clothes) with us. Please continue wardrobe oxygen in the same manner that you have since stopping your 9 to 5 job. I can’t wait to read your next post.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:28 pm

      Thank you LH!

      Reply
  12. Tgchi13 says

    March 22, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    All I have is this: Be kind to yourself, walk a dog daily and give/receive heartfelt hugs.

    Reply
    • Anastacia says

      March 22, 2018 at 8:26 pm

      Tgchil3, that is the best 3 pieces of advice I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you so much for that!

      Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:29 pm

      We’re looking to get another dog, have put in applications at many shelters and rescues and now we’re waiting! 🙂

      Reply
  13. Ginger says

    March 22, 2018 at 1:33 pm

    It’s all a journey isn’t it? And meditation isn’t for everyone. Have you heard of the bored and brilliant challenge? https://www.wnyc.org/series/bored-and-brilliant
    I did it last year and found it helpful – too much screen time or social media has a tendancy to shorten our attention spans and puts me in a downward spiral. You might enjoy the challenge and it’s also now a book I believe. A good book I recently read on meditation is Into the Magic Shop by James R. Doty MD
    You’re doing great – give yourself the same grace you’d give a friend going through the same 🙂

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:30 pm

      Thank you for this Ginger!

      Reply
  14. Jen says

    March 22, 2018 at 1:20 pm

    I have been going through something similar. I have been a Buddhist for 25 years, and done meditation for all of them, but still kept getting stuck by what Pema Chodron calls “the hook”. I highly recommend her book, When Things Fall Apart: https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1611803438 I had been waking up to have imaginary arguments with people, impulsively commenting in a angry way on FB posts, fretting about stressful things constantly myself. Partly what helped was reading the book “Boundaries”,which is Christian based but I found incredibly helpful in setting healthy boundaries in work and with friends and family without feeling guilt. I tried staying off social media, but found I had to take firmer measures, so I uninstalled Facebook and Twitter from my phone and turned off all notifications. I only check it twice a day when I am at my treadmill desk, and it has given me great breathing space.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:30 pm

      Thank you for these suggestions, Jen. I really appreciate it and will check them out!

      Reply
  15. Helen says

    March 22, 2018 at 11:50 am

    Hi Allie. I feel you. I have had a meditation practice on and off for a couple of years.. Some days are easier than others. So e days I get IT, some days not. I get your struggle with the pit, inner chaos and unacceptable feelings which cause outbursts of inappropriateness. Maybe that is why I follow your blog even though I too am older (in my 60’s) and we don’t have a lot in common, at least on the surface. I love your honesty, your humanity and your openness. Thank you for this post. Thank you for your blog. Let the critics natter on. We got your back with love and gratitude!

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:31 pm

      Thank you Helen!

      Reply
  16. Nancy says

    March 22, 2018 at 10:39 am

    I too, like another reader, started reading your post this morning and thought ‘she should try meditation’. Ha! I’m a newbie meditator myself, been doing it (not TM) for about 3 months and noticed a difference pretty fast – below the fray is a perfect way to describe it – like you’re tapping into the calm waters within you, that exist below the surface currents. The currents that yank us in 50 different directions constantly. All forms of meditation have that common thread I think – helping you tap into the calm that is within you, we’ve just gotten out of touch with it. I’ve been thinking hard about TM too, after hearing Bob Roth interviewed by Dan Harris. Got to start a TM fund of my own! 🙂 Thank you for sharing this.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:31 pm

      Thank you for sharing this Nancy! <3

      Reply
  17. Karen says

    March 22, 2018 at 10:24 am

    Thank you for another beautifully you post. .

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:32 pm

      Thank you Karen <3

      Reply
  18. DWJ says

    March 22, 2018 at 10:09 am

    When I started to read this post I thought, ‘she should probably try meditation.’ HA! Knitting is my form of meditation, it’s calming and soothing and shifts my focus. I’ve also been stepping away from my phone more, putting it on silent and reading books again or listening to audio books while I knit. Sometimes all that noise just makes us feel worse.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:32 pm

      Agree about the noise. And that is a big reason why Ive always wanted to try knitting!

      Reply
  19. Lee says

    March 22, 2018 at 9:52 am

    Just wanted to say I feel ya & I hope you’ll find some inner peace soon. I’ve been a worrier all my life & often have sleep problems b/c I wake up with my mind racing—thinking about a million different things at once! This sleep thing has gotten worse in my 40’s but like you, I notice exercise helps. So I’m good about it for a while& then I find excuses not to do it. It’s such a vicious cycle—so why do I keep doing it, right?? I think it’s just part of being a mom, a wife, a daughter, an employee, etc. Good luck & know that many of us understand & relate— and we certainly understand those moments in life when we say or do something that we later regret.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:33 pm

      Thank you for sharing Lee. It helps to know we’re not alone in our feelings <3

      Reply
  20. Mary says

    March 22, 2018 at 9:47 am

    Thanks again for being real. I feel like I am always having these moments where I regress and am not the person that I want to be, and it is just so HARD to try and start over each time I dip back into the person I don’t want to be to try and get myself back out of it. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever come easier, but it is comforting to know that other people struggle with similar things. Sending love your way, and know you are not alone!

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:35 pm

      Thank you Mary for sharing your story. It really does help to know we’re not alone!

      Reply
  21. Hope Cuevas says

    March 22, 2018 at 9:25 am

    Give God a chance. He will give you peace like you’ve never experienced before.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:35 pm

      Thank you.

      Reply
  22. Judy says

    March 22, 2018 at 9:15 am

    Allie, you are being waaay too hard on yourself. I haven’t seen all of your comments/rants but life happens. And your post about your ‘little ‘ eye & ‘hot ass’ issues made me laugh out loud- not because of your issues but because it was real & raw & ok – pretty funny. I’m 60+ but enjoy your posts because you put your fun, curvy self out there. And while your brain is busy, you introduce topics that don’t aren’t always on my grandma, retired horizon. So, take a breath or TM, and know you are ok.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:36 pm

      Thank you Judy <3

      Reply
  23. Trixie Ruby says

    March 22, 2018 at 8:35 am

    Allie, you are the best! So honest, authentic, real, and articulate. Allie, life is so messy. We never figure it out, and we never will. Keep on being you, and be easy on yourself. I am a multi-year reader, and a never comment-er, and I think you are too hard on yourself. Ignore the haters, they are jealous that you put yourself out there and keep on being Allie.

    Reply
    • Alison Gary says

      March 26, 2018 at 7:36 pm

      Thank you Trixie!

      Reply

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What I Wore: Bold Floral

Since 2005, Wardrobe Oxygen has offered real-life style advice for grown-ass women. With years of experience as an apparel visual merchandiser and personal shopper, Alison Gary provides advice on how to achieve personal style no matter your age, size, or budget.

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Sep 23

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Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

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Sep 21

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If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

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Sep 19

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If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

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Sep 11

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Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️

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Sep 8

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I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

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Sep 5

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I’ll be a bit quiet on here and other channels because I had eye (retinal) surgery this past weekend. I was having what I thought were ocular migraines but come to find out I was experiencing lattice degeneration, which is thinning/holes in the retina. I had surgery Saturday for my right eye and later on they’ll work on the left eye, which isn’t as bad and can be remedied by laser, in office.

I share not because I’m Mrs. Frizzle meets Iris Apfel as I recuperate at home, but because this whole thing has been a lesson on trusting my gut. And I want to remind you to do the same.

As we get older our bodies can feel like strangers. Things are constantly changing and it’s easy to just assume your annual physical will catch anything wrong. But if you slow down and listen to your body you’ll know when things are just a sign of aging and life and what seems unusual. That nagging issue may be something more serious.

And if you’re seeing flashing lights, floaters, spiderwebs or other odd eye things get checked out ASAP. It may be nothing but take it from me, it may actually be something. ❤️

Okay, going back to my big sunglasses caftan recuperation life!

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Aug 30

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Ladies who lunch…

While in Savannah, I made sure to get lunch reservations for me and E at @theoldepinkhouse she loves the color pink, historic homes, and ghost stories so it was a perfect choice! 

Built in 1789 on Reynolds Square, there are stories of guests seeing ghosts, cutlery and wine bottles moving along with an elegant and truly delicious dining. 

While we didn’t see any apparitions, we did have a lovely lunch with impeccable service and after toured all floors of the home. I highly recommend a visit if you’re visiting Savannah!

My dress is from @cosstores (no longer available); hat is @furtalk and bag is @talbotsofficial (no longer available).

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Aug 29

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Scenes from a week in Savannah… 

The three of us (and our dog Oscar!) had a warm and humid but wonderful time exploring Savannah, Georgia earlier this month. Our daughter visited this gorgeous city last summer with her @girlscouts troop but wanted to return to experience more. We let her choose our adventures and play your guide and it was awesome. We cannot wait to visit again, though next time it won’t be August 🥵

For more of our trip check the “Savannah” highlight on my profile page!

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Aug 28

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Stripes are always right…

Y’all know I love stripes and when @universalstandard came out with their Breton-stripe dresses and tops I HAD to try them! As expected, the quality is stellar, the fit boosts my confidence, and I appreciate the range of colors (5 different stripes to choose from) and sizes (00-50). For reference, I’m wearing XS but preferred S for the top and I usually wear a 14 or XL in other brands.

The tote is @able and it’s a soft yet durable leather that just looks better with time. This color (cognac) is one that transitions nicely from summer to fall. 

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#usinthewild #bretonstripes #midsizestyle #midsizefashion #size14 #over40style

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Aug 27

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The family that wears @printfresh together stays together 🥰

Use code wardrobe_oxygen for 15% off your order of size-inclusive organic cotton sleepwear, dresses, bags & more https://glnk.io/qk04/wardrobe-oxygen

I’ve been raving about my Printfresh pajamas for years, my family also wanted to try them. Thank you Printfresh for gifting these for our annual three generation girls’ getaway to Rehoboth Beach, DE. We had a great time and being all matchy matchy in our pajamas was a fun addition! 🐅🍃🥰

#printfresh #printfreshpajamas #printfreshpartner

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