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Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jnDf #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style
Open
If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle
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For years I’ve trusted @somaintimates for the right bras and the right fit but it had been a while since I visited a Soma boutique to try on all the styles they currently have for a large bust. I must say I was impressed! Knowledgeable staff, extensive collection in larger sizes, and some of the most comfortable and innovative bras in up to H cups! Each body is different but what I loved:

- The Stunning Push-Up: targeted for the DD+ customer gives amazing lift and great shape under fitted knits.

- The Unbelievable Lift Scoop Balconette: sexy, supportive, and so lightweight!

- The Embraceable Wireless: I’ve recommended this wireless bra for large busts for years and was in need for a new one! 

- The Stunning Support Smooth Balconette: this is the perfect t-shirt bra for large busts with padded straps and disappears under knits

- The Stunning Starlet Multi-Way Strapless: recently improved for more support and more comfort, this wireless bra stays put and gives fab shape

I also picked up some of Soma’s iconic Vanishing Edge panties which keep you line-free. The whole Vanishing collection is genius. I loved being able to donate my gently used bras at my local Soma boutique to give to those in need. We all deserve a lift and Soma strives to achieve that. It’s why I’ve been a fan and customer for years and am honored to partner with them. Soma is the perfect fitting bra solution. Visit the link in my bio to shop and to find your local Soma boutique! #SomaPartner #SomaBraFit #SomaStartsWithMe
Open
If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle
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It was so funny and so quick I couldn’t not share! I bought this @hulkenbag a year ago and use it all the time. Carting shoot supplies, groceries, packing for road trips, and carting donations. This weekend @thenewdealcafe in @cityofgreenbelt hosted a community clothing swap so I made sure my family and I went through our summer wardrobes to gather that which we no longer needed or fit.

This wasn’t the first clothing swap and folks in town know my style (and my job) so there were some waiting for my arrival. Look how fast I cleared out this big bag! Speaking of the bag one other swap attendee said she got herself a Hulken after seeing mine in action!

It’s so great to know our old clothes are getting a good life and this bag makes carting them to the cafe so easy! I got my Hulken on Amazon, it comes in other colors and sizes too: https://amzn.to/48iTY4Y yep the bag is as great as all those ads you see on social media, I’m a big fan!
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I had to see… I asked my husband how often he thinks about the Roman Empire, and then asked our 14-year-old 😂
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#ad Go through my archives on Wardrobe Oxygen and one thing is clear: my family and I are a fan of @bombas socks! From their no-slip no-show socks to their iconic crew socks, Bombas makes great socks for the whole family while having a great heart.

Socks are the #1 requested article of clothing from homeless shelters. For every item purchase from Bombas, one is donated to someone experiencing homelessness. 

Save 20% on your first purchase at Bombas with my exclusive promo code: WARDROBE20

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4ipHy #bombas
Open
Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️
Open
I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4idXm
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Lifestyle · April 22, 2013

A Conversation With Yourself

This article may contain affiliate links; if you click on a shopping link and make a purchase I may receive a commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. 

Close your eyes and think about your 15-year-old self. If you could go back in time and give her some advice, what would it be? It gets better? Don’t be so hard on yourself? Focus more on books than boys? You are beautiful, give it a year or two and the rest of the world will also see it? I bet it would be something along these lines.

My 15-year-old self felt she was too fat in her size 6 clothes, she was awkward, not nearly as pretty or as smart as her friends. She sacrificed school and opportunities because she didn’t believe in herself or was trying too hard to be cool or popular. She was so hard on herself, and I look back and see a gorgeous young woman who was so intelligent and had such talent. I wish she believed in herself more – knew she was beautiful, was smart, was talented. I wish I could go back and tell her to be kinder to herself.

What do you think your 80-year-old self would say to you right now?
What would your future self tell you to focus on, to ignore, to celebrate?

We don’t automatically gain self confidence when we finish puberty, and we’re still pretty hard on ourselves. If our present day selves can spout wisdom to our teenage selves, imagine what our 80-year-old selves would think of us, grown women, treating ourselves in such a manner?

Take a moment. Sit in a quiet corner, or maybe hit the snooze button for a few minutes of quiet solitude. Relax, close your eyes, and envision your 80-year-old self. Don’t focus on what you are doing, what you look like, what your life is like. But imagine your 80-year-old self thinking about you at your current age. See your current life through your older eyes. What do you think she would focus on? Would she remember the stretch marks or the dirty dishes; the frizzy hair or the failed presentation at work? Or would she remember the good friends, the times you laughed so hard your stomach ached, the love you had with your partner, the early morning snuggles with your children, the perfect spring days when you enjoyed a cup of tea on the patio or the road trip to visit your cousins.

Your 80-year-old self would likely tell you similar things that you would tell your 15-year-old self. That you’re too hard on yourself. That life is more than a dress size, and way bigger than your problems. That you don’t have that much time on this planet, and you should focus more on the good than the bad. And that you should listen to her, didn’t your parents teach you to respect your elders?

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Comments

  1. Rachel says

    April 25, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    Interesting! I actually think I might tell my 15-year-old self to be a bit harder on herself – a lot of the social anxiety problems I had as a teen are much worse now, and I wish I’d tried more to venture out of myself, learn to talk to people, gain some social graces, when it wasn’t nearly as terrifying as it is now. As a teen I was pretty willing to believe that nothing was the matter and to hide behind a certain amount of created ignorance.

    Reply
  2. Brynn says

    April 25, 2013 at 10:20 am

    I would tell my high school self to stop worrying about whether or not boys liked me, if I was too ugly to get married, etc. I would tell myself to assert my independence more and learn that it’s okay to not do things solely to please my parents. I would tell myself to stop paying attention to what the “popular” kids were doing and how could I be more like them…in a few years, I’ll be kicking butt and succeeding when many of them are living at home, working at Starbucks, and getting drunk every weekend with their high school friends.

    Reply
  3. Cassandra Westfall says

    April 23, 2013 at 11:38 pm

    Thanks for this!
    Sharing it on Facebook. 🙂

    Reply
  4. crtfly says

    April 23, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    I would talk to myself about an issue I’ve always struggled with. That is, fretting about everything too much, have terrible attacks of “What if?”, being stuck in my head. Appreciate who and what is immediate, right now. Don’t again miss out on all the interesting and beautiful of the here and now because of worrying about that report that is due, or that I look awful today.

    I am currently on a partly work/ partly vacation visit to Seattle. It’s a wonderful city with so much that interests and pleases me. I am doing quite well at just enjoying and appreciating my stay. I am very grateful that I have a job that allows me to travel a little.

    Chris

    Reply
  5. Marina Graham says

    April 23, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    Oh, boy did I need to read this today! New baby, not getting any job interviews, struggling to shift the weight and worrying about money … but do you know what? My family is gorgeous, and complete at two healthy, happy boys, and I am beyond fortunate in my gorgeous husband who loves me dearly.
    I’m doing okay. The things that matter, deep-down, are all in my favour.

    Thanks for this.

    Reply
  6. Heidi/FranticButFab says

    April 23, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Really lovely. Such a powerful idea. (Along those lines, have you seen this book? http://www.dearme.org/)

    It makes me think of the concept that we say or think harsh things about ourselves that we would never say or think about a dear friend.

    I’m also reminded of Havi Brooks’ Fluent Self blog because she often talks about the idea of having a conversation with your future (and past) selves. (Here’s an example: http://www.fluentself.com/blog/stuckification/a-love-letter-to-you-for-the-moment-in-which-you-become-an-adventurer/)

    Reply
  7. Elena says

    April 23, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Thank you so much for those words…I just realized how much I needed to read them…

    Reply
  8. issyme says

    April 23, 2013 at 9:59 am

    What a wonderful and touching post. Coincidentally, I do this in a less profound way. Whenever I look at pictures of my younger self, I think, I was so much cuter than I ever thought. So when I start to have a negative thought about myself now, I think that when I am 70 I am going to look back at myself and think, “Not bad, I should have appreciated myself more. “

    Reply
  9. Tabitha Dumas says

    April 23, 2013 at 1:51 am

    An excellent exercise and a great perspective to have! I’ll definitely spend some time on this when I journal tomorrow morning. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  10. Jodi Truscott says

    April 22, 2013 at 10:29 pm

    Beautiful, just beautiful. 🙂

    Reply
  11. CA_Powell says

    April 22, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    Reading this while on the bus. Got a little teary-eyed. Lovely and worthwhile thoughts.

    Reply
  12. Karina says

    April 22, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    Great advice.

    Reply
  13. Jennifer says

    April 22, 2013 at 8:03 pm

    I really needed this today. I’m at a real crossroads. Mainly, I want my 80 year old self to look back and say, “Wow, I was brave and I made the right decision.”

    Reply
  14. Thrift Store Mama says

    April 22, 2013 at 7:44 pm

    I love thinking about this. I’m 39 and have a good friend in her 60s and a couple good friends in their 50s, so it’s easy to think about what my 65 year old self would say to my 39 year old self, but harder to think about what my 80 year old self would say. I think she might say to be more patient, kind, and yet still firm with my husband. This will be the topic for my head for my next 40 minute commute !

    Reply
  15. Trystan L. Bass says

    April 22, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    Damn. It’s so easy to look back from now to then, but I find it much harder to look back from the future to now. I’m going to think about this tho’ bec., yeah, it can’t be *that* different.

    Reply
  16. Hems for Her, a.k.a. Katie says

    April 22, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    I am absolutely going to do this tonight!

    Reply
  17. Nicki Bishop says

    April 22, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    Fantastic post. Wise words.

    Reply
  18. Delusions of Grandeur says

    April 22, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    This is beautiful, Allie – and I really needed to read this today.

    Reply
  19. suzanne says

    April 22, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    I loved this. Really puts your life into perspective when you think that far ahead. A good reminder and a good mantra for every day living.

    bisous
    Suzanne

    Reply
  20. Eleanorjane says

    April 22, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    It’s an interesting thing to think about. Rachel from Grasping for Objectivity did a “Impressing my 17 year old self” post which inspired me to give it a go too. Results here: http://birdybegins.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/after-impressing-my-seventeen-year-old-self/

    Reply
  21. SarahMikayla says

    April 22, 2013 at 3:00 pm

    What a powerful thought!

    Reply
  22. Morgan Rudder says

    April 22, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    I kind of just teared up at that. That was really really beautiful, and I don’t say that lightly.

    Reply
  23. ShenDove says

    April 22, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    This is a good reminder on this Monday! It’s good to remember to be a little kinder and compassionate to ourselves. Life is way to short, and every day we have on Earth is a blessing.

    Reply

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Since 2005, Wardrobe Oxygen has offered real-life style advice for grown-ass women. With years of experience as an apparel visual merchandiser and personal shopper, Alison Gary provides advice on how to achieve personal style no matter your age, size, or budget.

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Sep 23

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Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jnDf #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style

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Sep 21

Open
If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle

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Sep 19

Open
If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle

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Sep 11

Open
Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️

wardrobe_oxygen

View

Sep 8

Open
I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4idXm

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Sep 5

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I’ll be a bit quiet on here and other channels because I had eye (retinal) surgery this past weekend. I was having what I thought were ocular migraines but come to find out I was experiencing lattice degeneration, which is thinning/holes in the retina. I had surgery Saturday for my right eye and later on they’ll work on the left eye, which isn’t as bad and can be remedied by laser, in office.

I share not because I’m Mrs. Frizzle meets Iris Apfel as I recuperate at home, but because this whole thing has been a lesson on trusting my gut. And I want to remind you to do the same.

As we get older our bodies can feel like strangers. Things are constantly changing and it’s easy to just assume your annual physical will catch anything wrong. But if you slow down and listen to your body you’ll know when things are just a sign of aging and life and what seems unusual. That nagging issue may be something more serious.

And if you’re seeing flashing lights, floaters, spiderwebs or other odd eye things get checked out ASAP. It may be nothing but take it from me, it may actually be something. ❤️

Okay, going back to my big sunglasses caftan recuperation life!

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Aug 30

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Ladies who lunch…

While in Savannah, I made sure to get lunch reservations for me and E at @theoldepinkhouse she loves the color pink, historic homes, and ghost stories so it was a perfect choice! 

Built in 1789 on Reynolds Square, there are stories of guests seeing ghosts, cutlery and wine bottles moving along with an elegant and truly delicious dining. 

While we didn’t see any apparitions, we did have a lovely lunch with impeccable service and after toured all floors of the home. I highly recommend a visit if you’re visiting Savannah!

My dress is from @cosstores (no longer available); hat is @furtalk and bag is @talbotsofficial (no longer available).

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Aug 29

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Scenes from a week in Savannah… 

The three of us (and our dog Oscar!) had a warm and humid but wonderful time exploring Savannah, Georgia earlier this month. Our daughter visited this gorgeous city last summer with her @girlscouts troop but wanted to return to experience more. We let her choose our adventures and play your guide and it was awesome. We cannot wait to visit again, though next time it won’t be August 🥵

For more of our trip check the “Savannah” highlight on my profile page!

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Aug 28

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Stripes are always right…

Y’all know I love stripes and when @universalstandard came out with their Breton-stripe dresses and tops I HAD to try them! As expected, the quality is stellar, the fit boosts my confidence, and I appreciate the range of colors (5 different stripes to choose from) and sizes (00-50). For reference, I’m wearing XS but preferred S for the top and I usually wear a 14 or XL in other brands.

The tote is @able and it’s a soft yet durable leather that just looks better with time. This color (cognac) is one that transitions nicely from summer to fall. 

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4hkEF 

#usinthewild #bretonstripes #midsizestyle #midsizefashion #size14 #over40style

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Aug 27

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The family that wears @printfresh together stays together 🥰

Use code wardrobe_oxygen for 15% off your order of size-inclusive organic cotton sleepwear, dresses, bags & more https://glnk.io/qk04/wardrobe-oxygen

I’ve been raving about my Printfresh pajamas for years, my family also wanted to try them. Thank you Printfresh for gifting these for our annual three generation girls’ getaway to Rehoboth Beach, DE. We had a great time and being all matchy matchy in our pajamas was a fun addition! 🐅🍃🥰

#printfresh #printfreshpajamas #printfreshpartner

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