We're in scary times, and we all live different lives in different communities, affected in different ways by what is going on across the globe. I know many of us are affected financially by this, and I want to be sensitive to this fact. I know many are isolated and alone. Several are “at risk” due to one of many factors or have loved ones who are. Many can't stay at home, they have to work. Some of you have reached out letting me know that you or loved ones have it now. My heart goes out to all of you, and I want to be as sensitive as possible.
That being said, I also want to be a distraction. I am not a health expert, there is no point in me sharing advice when you have an entire internet where you can find far more accurate information from experts and those who have spent their life researching this topic. There is nothing I can share that hasn't already been shared so my goal is not to be a resource, but a distraction. Because we all need a break from the news cycle.
While I will be adding content that will be relevant to what is going on now in the world, I also plan to share “typical” content. I have some sponsored posts I'll be sharing that have been months in the works, but also fun things I've researched and written, and content that may not be useful to you now, but I hope will prove useful in a few weeks. I plan to share more day to day stuff on Instagram Stories: what I wear each day when working from home, at-home workouts, those sorts of things.
When under stress, it's normal to lash out. I encourage all to slow down and count to ten before criticizing others for how they are handling this. Some don't speak of it because it's weighing on them 24/7 and they need a distraction. Some don't speak of it because they know they aren't an expert. And some don't because they just don't know what to say. We're all learning as we go along, and the best way to learn is from kind yet constructive feedback and facts.
Friday, while our daughter was at school for the last day for at least two weeks, my husband and I sanitized and organized. It was a good distraction when I was overwhelmed by work-related projects and deliverables, I felt more productive than scrolling through Twitter. When our daughter came home, we had her shower and clean up, did her laundry including her backpack, and I powered off so we could talk about what is going on and how together as a family we will get through it. She could tell I was off and typical to many kids, took is personally and reacted by being extra clingy, extra chatty, extra attention-seeking. And I gave it to her, but by 9pm I was completely done. I left her room and went to mine and cried, but that short super quiet cry many of us perfect when living with others you don't want to freak out. I took extra care with my nighttime skincare routine, knowing that it was something I could do to make myself feel a little bit better and got into bed with my Kindle and a sparkling water. All the books I had were too heavy, so I downloaded The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, a book I remembered offhand was recommended by friends and on the Bad on Paper podcast. It calmed me, distracted me, and I was able to sleep through most of the night.
I already work from home, as does my husband so our day-to-day isn't radically different… yet. I can FaceTime my family, text with friends, and I work in a profession where so much of my social life is already virtual. I do worry about money, when you all are concerned about money it affects the blog. And that makes me feel guilty. I'm going to be working on finding a balance with the content. I do not want you to feel like this site is one big superficial shill, and I worry about looking hella privileged and clueless dancing around in dresses while so many of us wonder how we're going to get through the next week. But I know most of you see Wardrobe Oxygen not just as a shopping blog, but a lifestyle blog, a form of entertainment or at least distraction. And I create content not just for today but for the long run, and I do believe things will improve.
I feel really weird as I scroll through Facebook and between statuses from friends and families on how they are holding up I see ads for crap we don't need but is targeted to those of us feeling scared, alone, and prone to retail therapy. And updates from the Facebook groups I am in for bloggers, business owners, and influencers offering tips on how to write content that will encourage clicks. This is a business, I want it to be successful, but I don't want to be part of the problem. This weighs on me all the time, but even more so right now. I keep reminding myself at past Corporate America jobs I'd be thinking the same thing; what I am working on is so pointless in light of what is going on in the world. But now, having this as my job, I can decide how to react, and I can connect with others instead of just grinding away in a cubicle to pad the pockets of some man in another city in another state who wouldn't know who I am if I passed him on the street. I have the constant challenge to figure out how to do well while also doing good, and I can't think of a better challenge to work on.
I didn't do a February month in review post because this whole month has been really off. But I did make monthly donations. A portion of what I made in February went to Feeding America, Food & Friends, and Moveable Feast. As I learn, I will share ways that you can support small and local businesses to help others affected by this national emergency.
I know this post is all over the place, but my mind is all over the place. I am processing what is going on… sometimes. And sometimes I just freak out. And sometimes I just go numb and want to rewatch all the previous seasons of The Bold Type and eat potato chips. I wish I had a punching bag in my house because crunches and push-ups on my living room floor aren't stopping my desire to punch and hit and scream. I want to sleep all the time, but then I have insomnia. My hands are chapped, I bought nail brushes for all the sinks and showers in our home and will be taking off my pretty nails once they grow out and do my damndest to not chew what is underneath. I wonder if I have enough in my pantry, I worry about my neighbors. I worry about all of you. I scroll through my comments and wonder if names I see on the regular are okay; I may not know you but I do feel I “know” you, especially those of you who comment here, reply to Instagram Stories, and participate in the Facebook Group. I open social media and I'll see one great thing and then three things that just make me angry. I see a DM and it's someone else who is also angry. I watch the news, I shut it off because I am overwhelmed and angry and can't do anything about it. I scroll through Twitter and everyone is so angry because they can't do anything but type and hide out. I'm torn between shutting it all off and gobbling up every factoid I can thinking somehow it will provide me and my loved ones some sort of immunity. I am not perfect, I am going to say or write or do something that will piss someone off, and right now we're all so on edge I can't take always take it personally. I'm going to do my best, which is all we can do right now. That, and wash our hands.