Open
Scenes from a Friday night…

We started at @littleblackbirddc a new wine bar in Cleveland Park where we had great food, drink, and conversation into the evening. We then headed down the street to @atomicbilliards for a whole different experience and to keep the conversation going. I treasure my friendships with @sylviacolella (who had a birthday recently), @districtofchic, and @blonde_inthedistrict they’re the real deal 🥰

My dress is @adamlippes borrowed via @renttherunway and Cheetos with Sauvignon Blanc is a really fun pairing!
Open
Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jnDf #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style
Open
If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle
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For years I’ve trusted @somaintimates for the right bras and the right fit but it had been a while since I visited a Soma boutique to try on all the styles they currently have for a large bust. I must say I was impressed! Knowledgeable staff, extensive collection in larger sizes, and some of the most comfortable and innovative bras in up to H cups! Each body is different but what I loved:

- The Stunning Push-Up: targeted for the DD+ customer gives amazing lift and great shape under fitted knits.

- The Unbelievable Lift Scoop Balconette: sexy, supportive, and so lightweight!

- The Embraceable Wireless: I’ve recommended this wireless bra for large busts for years and was in need for a new one! 

- The Stunning Support Smooth Balconette: this is the perfect t-shirt bra for large busts with padded straps and disappears under knits

- The Stunning Starlet Multi-Way Strapless: recently improved for more support and more comfort, this wireless bra stays put and gives fab shape

I also picked up some of Soma’s iconic Vanishing Edge panties which keep you line-free. The whole Vanishing collection is genius. I loved being able to donate my gently used bras at my local Soma boutique to give to those in need. We all deserve a lift and Soma strives to achieve that. It’s why I’ve been a fan and customer for years and am honored to partner with them. Soma is the perfect fitting bra solution. Visit the link in my bio to shop and to find your local Soma boutique! #SomaPartner #SomaBraFit #SomaStartsWithMe
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If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle
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It was so funny and so quick I couldn’t not share! I bought this @hulkenbag a year ago and use it all the time. Carting shoot supplies, groceries, packing for road trips, and carting donations. This weekend @thenewdealcafe in @cityofgreenbelt hosted a community clothing swap so I made sure my family and I went through our summer wardrobes to gather that which we no longer needed or fit.

This wasn’t the first clothing swap and folks in town know my style (and my job) so there were some waiting for my arrival. Look how fast I cleared out this big bag! Speaking of the bag one other swap attendee said she got herself a Hulken after seeing mine in action!

It’s so great to know our old clothes are getting a good life and this bag makes carting them to the cafe so easy! I got my Hulken on Amazon, it comes in other colors and sizes too: https://amzn.to/48iTY4Y yep the bag is as great as all those ads you see on social media, I’m a big fan!
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I had to see… I asked my husband how often he thinks about the Roman Empire, and then asked our 14-year-old 😂
Open
#ad Go through my archives on Wardrobe Oxygen and one thing is clear: my family and I are a fan of @bombas socks! From their no-slip no-show socks to their iconic crew socks, Bombas makes great socks for the whole family while having a great heart.

Socks are the #1 requested article of clothing from homeless shelters. For every item purchase from Bombas, one is donated to someone experiencing homelessness. 

Save 20% on your first purchase at Bombas with my exclusive promo code: WARDROBE20

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4ipHy #bombas
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Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️
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Fashion Advice · May 16, 2012

Ask Allie: I’m a Guest at a Wedding, What Should I Wear?

This article may contain affiliate links; if you click on a shopping link and make a purchase I may receive a commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. 

Could you please make some suggestions for appropriate guest attire for a wedding? I have a few this summer and fall and have no idea what to wear. Also, is black appropriate for a wedding? Thanks!

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Each year I buy myself a Little Black Dress (LBD) to have on hand for such events. For the past couple of years, it has been a sleeveless matte jersey dress from Ann Taylor with a seamed waist and surplice neckline. I pair it with long pearls and D’Orsay heels for an evening wedding at a hotel ballroom, with gold heels and chandelier earrings for one at an historic mansion, with pink heeled sandals and a wrist of bangles for a day affair in a garden, with a colorful silk shawl and pumps for a church ceremony, with metallic flat sandals and big hoop earrings for a ceremony on the beach. The key is to find a versatile fabric – silk or a silk blend, matte jersey, crepe, gabardine are all fabrics that can dress up or down with ease. A classic sheath is a great choice, I also like the silhouette of this dress from Lands' End and this dress from Kate Spade.

Black has become acceptable for MOST weddings, however some are very traditional or religious and find black to still be inappropriate.  If you believe the couple or their family to be traditional or religious, there's no harm in contacting a member of the wedding party or a close relative to the bride or groom and ask their opinion.

My friend is having a destination wedding in Aruba this fall and I have no clue what to wear. It will be on the beach but she’s having six bridesmaids and is wearing a ballgown with a veil. Do I dress for the location or the dressiness of the bride?

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Both? While the wedding party will be in formal attire, I can bet that there will be a few in too-casual attire. It’s best to find something that hovers nicely in the middle; for such an event, I would suggest a maxi dress. A maxi can look dressier, but it’s also beach-friendly. If you choose a fabric like matte jersey, it will be ready to wear straight from the suitcase, won’t get soggy if your hem touches the surf, won’t have sand cling to it, and you can look as glamorous as the bride but still fit in with everyone else who decided that destination = Hawaiian shirts and shorts. Consider this the NSLBD (Not So Little Black Dress). I have a black matte jersey maxi dress from Calvin Klein I wore when I was Matron of Honor at my best friend’s elegant outdoor wedding. A few months later I wore it with metallic flat sandals and dangly earrings to another friend’s outdoor garden wedding in Charleston. I will be attending a destination wedding in Key West later this year and am seriously considering the same dress for the event.

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Such a dress does not have to be black, but a deeper shade will be more versatile and can pass for being formal more easily than a pastel or bright. This dress from Donna Morgan would be a great choice, as would this one from BCBGMAXAZRIA.

I'm 51 years old and about the same size and shape as you are. I will be attending a casual “country wedding” in early September and have no idea what to wear. I live in California and it's typically blazing hot at that time of year. I've been told the wedding is BBQish with S’mores for dessert instead of cake. Any creative ideas you have would be much appreciated.

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That sounds like such a fun wedding! However, I bet the majority of the guest list will be just as confused on the dress code as you. If I were attending, I would wear a cotton sundress or skirt with a knit top and wedge or flat sandals so I wouldn’t sink into the grass. Since it’s outside and you can’t be sure of the In fact, since it is a theme wedding, feel free to don chambray, tie a western shirt over a sundress, or pair your frock with cowboy boots. This is the type of affair where the classic LBD is surprisingly NOT appropriate.

My coworker is getting married this summer and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR! He’s very colorful and flamboyant and his husband to be is just as wild and fun. I know there will be hats and masks for us to wear and a live band and he mentioned he’s spending a lot on lighting for a dancefloor. I have never been to a wedding like this and I don’t think my navy silk dress will be right. What do I wear so I look fun but also look like a respectful wedding guest and still look like myself?

Honestly, you could wear that navy dress if you like – it sounds respectful and like something you feel comfortable in. You could jazz it up with the addition of brighter lipstick, a fun necklace or heels, or you could just go as-is and have a blast on that well-lit dance floor. I promise you, the couple will not care what you are wearing – as long as it doesn’t upstage them they will be thrilled just for your attendance and well-wishes.

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Or, if you desire (and your budget allows), you can use this opportunity to have a bit of fun with fashion. Kick it up with a festive bright color, a few more baubles, a pair of statement heels. This is the type of affair where you could rock that fascinator that has been collecting dust since Kate & William’s wedding, wear those hot pink sequined pumps from New Year’s Eve, or try out false lashes. You don’t want to upstage the couple or their wedding party, but a bit of color and whimsy would be well appreciated at such an event and wouldn’t be seen as disrespectful.

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Do know that whimsy and flamboyance doesn’t mean sexy or slutty. I never feel it is appropriate, no matter how alternative or creative the wedding, to wear skintight, super low-cut, or super short clothing. A bodycon dress is the equivalent of wearing white to a wedding – it is disrespectful and losing sight of the point of the event – the couple. You are a guest, a person privileged to attend and help celebrate this union and not the main event.

For more wedding attire advice, check out:

  • Ask Allie: Wedding Guest Attire
  • Wardrobe Oxygen: Dressing for the Occasion
  • Wardrobe Oxygen: Dress for Respect

All photos from Offbeat Bride – a fabulous site for less-than-traditional weddings

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Comments

  1. Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

    May 17, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    Yes Andie, I loved that dress so much I knew I HAD to feature it! Thank you for the heads up on the sizing, and ladies go check it out – great price and silhouette!

    Reply
  2. Andie325 says

    May 17, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    I love that you wrote this post after I tweeted you about my dress drama on friday! LOL BTW, I went to put on the lands end dress and it was too big! Apparently that dress runs big- so for anyone who also likes that lands end silk flare dress- know that it runs really big! (like I usually wear a 14 and I would need a 10 in it) 

    I am about to go to my third wedding of the year and this one is SUPER casual (my SIL) as she is getting married on the front porch of her country house and having the “reception” in the 2000 SF shed/barn at her house. So I’m wearing a cotton dress with flat sandals, as you recommended (i’m glad I selected that BEFORE you posted… that lets me know I am doing something right! LOL)  

    Great post, Allie! 

    Reply
  3. Mrs.M in MI says

    May 17, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    I’m afraid I disagree with you on this, at least personally.  I never wear black to weddings, and I encourage my family and friends not to, either.  I would much rather wear a bright or pastel or jewel tone, depending on the season, and always with fun, festive accessories and styling.   J.Crew bridesmaid dresses on super-clearance and Nordstrom Rack are my go-to places for inexpensive, colorful wedding guest attire.  My mother-in-law likes Dress Barn for simple but pretty sheath dresses that don’t bust her budget.

    Then again, I also believe that you should not match the bridesmaids, you should not wear flowers in your hair or on your person, and you should never bare your shoulders or back in a church.  So I might just be a big ol’ fuddy-duddy.

    Reply
  4. Alison Santighian says

    May 17, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    Allie, think this does a great job of summing up how to manage a whole slew of wedding types with just a few pieces – that we all hopefully have some variation of in our closets or can put there for little money. also, love the pics from the weddings! How fun!

    Reply
  5. Vyque @ Fasshonaburu says

    May 17, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    I have so much more trouble with a LBD than anything else! It’s easy to look good in one, but so hard to look standout great! Though I have found that adding a pair of red pumps helps 😉

    Reply
  6. Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen says

    May 17, 2012 at 10:21 am

     I guess my post does sound as though I am pushing black dresses, but I actually agree with you!  A wedding is a happy occasion and a great opportunity to wear happy colors (exclusing bright red and white) and fun silhouettes.  I suggest the LBD for budget and small closet purposes only, but have been known to wear purple, hot pink, and emerald green to weddings and think it makes the celebration even more joyful 🙂

    Reply
  7. Eleanorjane says

    May 17, 2012 at 8:04 am

    Just for myself, I disagree! I *love* dressing up for weddings and formal events. Since I was a teenager going to school balls (formals, proms) I never wore black or dull dark colours ‘cos I knew everyone else would be.

    The world is *full* of lovely semi-formal dresses and very often you can get them at amazing discounts on sale. I don’t know how many weddings you get asked to, but for me it’s a special occassion and I enjoy getting new accessories or a new dress (not spending heaps of money).

    I had a dark purple silk dress with a crossover bodice and swirly skirt that I wore with different accessories to lots of different events. For a daytime wedding in the country I went a bit 1940’s with a ladylike navy polka dotted dress, pearls and red lips and shoes. I’ve got a cobalt blue dress similarish to the one Catherine Middleton wore to annouce her engagement (but no sleeves) that I wore with gold n black heels and gold hoop earrings to the most recent wedding I went to. 

    I’d say have fun, enjoy colour and don’t stress! As mentioned, the bride n groom will only be pleased that you’re there (unless you make a really major faux pas).

    Reply

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Swimwear for Large Busts and Soft Bellies

Since 2005, Wardrobe Oxygen has offered real-life style advice for grown-ass women. With years of experience as an apparel visual merchandiser and personal shopper, Alison Gary provides advice on how to achieve personal style no matter your age, size, or budget.

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Sep 26

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Scenes from a Friday night…

We started at @littleblackbirddc a new wine bar in Cleveland Park where we had great food, drink, and conversation into the evening. We then headed down the street to @atomicbilliards for a whole different experience and to keep the conversation going. I treasure my friendships with @sylviacolella (who had a birthday recently), @districtofchic, and @blonde_inthedistrict they’re the real deal 🥰

My dress is @adamlippes borrowed via @renttherunway and Cheetos with Sauvignon Blanc is a really fun pairing!

wardrobe_oxygen

View

Sep 23

Open
Night and day…

Met three dear friends for an early dinner that went on until after the sun set. Great food and conversation with some great women!

The dress is @adamlippes and I borrowed it from @renttherunway. The bag is @jcrew and a splurge but I regretted not buying it the last time they offered this bag and this color is SO me. I mean, look how great it is with these many years old suede heeled sandals? Meant to be!

This color combination makes me so happy, and this dress was comfy even after a decadent meal. We all deserve to experience comfort and joy with our wardrobes! 💛🩷

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jnDf #ltkplussize #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #over40style

wardrobe_oxygen

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Sep 21

Open
If @thechicks are in town you can bet @debbiefaye78 and I will be there! So when we heard they were coming to @merriweatherpp we were so excited. And their concert did not disappoint. As always, a phenomenal show! If The Chicks come to your neck of the woods I highly recommend you go!

Okay I know you want to know about what we’re wearing! 

My sister’s caftan is from @anthropologie (bought this summer so maybe you can find on resale sites).

I’m wearing a @bananarepublic dress also from this summer with the @universalstandard denim chore jacket and a hat I got from a @madewell collab a year or so ago. I glammed it up with some gold chains and gold drop earrings, but kept it comfy for a night of standing and dancing with @birkenstock sandals.

This was my first big outing since my eye surgery, and with a pocketful of eye drops I felt good (and grateful we splurged for good seats!).

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4jcBL #ltkmidsize #ltkover40 #midsizestyle #genxstyle #usinthewild #concertstyle

wardrobe_oxygen

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Sep 19

Open
If I close my eyes you can’t tell one is still bloodshot 😜

Still recovering from my eye surgery but feeling more myself. Getting dolled up helps me feel me. Bright colors and bold jewelry have been signature Alison since I was a kid! 

Sweater: @favorite.daughter 
Earrings: Amazon
Necklace: @_jennybird (old)
Ring: @realmfinejewelry 
Bra: @lovebravissimo 
Lipstick: @glossier 
Pins as “cufflinks”: vintage

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4j0LM #ltkmidsize #midsizestyle #over40style #ltkover40 #genxstyle

wardrobe_oxygen

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Sep 11

Open
Happy gotcha day, Oscar! Four years ago he came into our life and we are so happy to have in our family!

Oscar was a rescue and came with some… quirks. Over the years we have come to understand him and he has come to trust us. He’s a diva, a snuggler, he could play catch for hours, and he’s my husband’s shadow. 

We’ve never had a small breed dog before and it’s a whole different experience. But we adore Oscar and couldn’t imagine our life without him! Thank you for coming into our life Oskie McGoskie! 🐾❤️

wardrobe_oxygen

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Sep 8

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I can see clearly now…

Actually I can’t, but things after my retina surgery are much improved! My next appointment is in a month and I’m cleared to get back into the world (with some restrictions to protect my eye).

With a sclera buckle, it changes your eye shape and now I am nearsighted again (I had lasik a few years ago). Once the eye is stabilized I can get glasses or contacts but until then I’m 20/20 in one eye and right now 20/60 in the other. But the eye is healing beautifully and I feel positive!

And I could see clearly enough to fall for this poppy-colored cotton jumpsuit from @pistoladenim. It comes in a few colors but this one is my favorite. I went with XL (im@a 14, sometimes 16) and likely could have sized down but I enjoy the relaxed fit and the drawstring waistband to create shape. And hello zipper closure making it super easy to get on and off!

My husband took this photo right after my eye appointment, I think it reflects my positive attitude and feeling of hope! 🧡

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
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Sep 5

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I’ll be a bit quiet on here and other channels because I had eye (retinal) surgery this past weekend. I was having what I thought were ocular migraines but come to find out I was experiencing lattice degeneration, which is thinning/holes in the retina. I had surgery Saturday for my right eye and later on they’ll work on the left eye, which isn’t as bad and can be remedied by laser, in office.

I share not because I’m Mrs. Frizzle meets Iris Apfel as I recuperate at home, but because this whole thing has been a lesson on trusting my gut. And I want to remind you to do the same.

As we get older our bodies can feel like strangers. Things are constantly changing and it’s easy to just assume your annual physical will catch anything wrong. But if you slow down and listen to your body you’ll know when things are just a sign of aging and life and what seems unusual. That nagging issue may be something more serious.

And if you’re seeing flashing lights, floaters, spiderwebs or other odd eye things get checked out ASAP. It may be nothing but take it from me, it may actually be something. ❤️

Okay, going back to my big sunglasses caftan recuperation life!

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Aug 30

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Ladies who lunch…

While in Savannah, I made sure to get lunch reservations for me and E at @theoldepinkhouse she loves the color pink, historic homes, and ghost stories so it was a perfect choice! 

Built in 1789 on Reynolds Square, there are stories of guests seeing ghosts, cutlery and wine bottles moving along with an elegant and truly delicious dining. 

While we didn’t see any apparitions, we did have a lovely lunch with impeccable service and after toured all floors of the home. I highly recommend a visit if you’re visiting Savannah!

My dress is from @cosstores (no longer available); hat is @furtalk and bag is @talbotsofficial (no longer available).

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Aug 29

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Scenes from a week in Savannah… 

The three of us (and our dog Oscar!) had a warm and humid but wonderful time exploring Savannah, Georgia earlier this month. Our daughter visited this gorgeous city last summer with her @girlscouts troop but wanted to return to experience more. We let her choose our adventures and play your guide and it was awesome. We cannot wait to visit again, though next time it won’t be August 🥵

For more of our trip check the “Savannah” highlight on my profile page!

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Aug 28

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Stripes are always right…

Y’all know I love stripes and when @universalstandard came out with their Breton-stripe dresses and tops I HAD to try them! As expected, the quality is stellar, the fit boosts my confidence, and I appreciate the range of colors (5 different stripes to choose from) and sizes (00-50). For reference, I’m wearing XS but preferred S for the top and I usually wear a 14 or XL in other brands.

The tote is @able and it’s a soft yet durable leather that just looks better with time. This color (cognac) is one that transitions nicely from summer to fall. 

Follow my shop @wardrobe_oxygen on the @shop.LTK app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!
https://liketk.it/4hkEF 

#usinthewild #bretonstripes #midsizestyle #midsizefashion #size14 #over40style

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