I haven’t become athletic, I’m not on a diet, but I’ve changed what I eat slightly for health and wellness reasons and it’s changed my body a lot. I’m not pounds thinner or a different size but everything has shifted and all my spring and summer clothes from last year fit weird. So I’ve been shopping and here’s the results, hits and misses…
I love Halogen, it fits me great. I thought this would be a great alternative to a midi dress for summer. I loved that since it was a wide leg jumpsuit it would look like a dress, but prevent chub rub. I ordered an XL Petite.
This jumpsuit fits amazingly well, and the straps are placed nicely so I can wear a standard bra and they don’t show. And it does look a bit like a midi skirt and hit at a place on me that looked really nice with a pair of pumps or a nude heel. This is dressy looking, not something to throw on with sandals.
However, this was returned because there’s no way in hell I could pee. It’s so tailored on top, I needed Karl to zip me up. Then you have this long self-belt that wraps twice around your body. If you had to use the bathroom, it would take several minutes to undo everything, then you’d have to hold onto those straps so they didn’t drag on the floor or fall into the toilet, and then to get dressed again you’d need a full length mirror to get everything right, possibly a friend to zip you up, and you may want the ability to see the back view to ensure the straps are lined up. Come on designers, humans need to urinate on a regular basis, why make it so hard? Men don’t have trendy fashion that prevents their ability to eliminate. Why do we have do decide between hydration and fashion? Boo on you Halogen. Oh, and it doesn’t have pockets. So FAIL.
I bought this dress in black in large. Leith is hit and miss with me, but this looked like a perfect summer dress I could wear to work with a jacket or cardigan or for a summer evening with sandals or heels. And it is. It’s a heavyweight, tightly woven knit with a refined finish that could dress up or down nicely. Though I am short, the skirt ended at a nice midi length between knee and ankle. It drapes just like it does on the model. However, it’s low cut. Not so low cut that I can’t wear it, but low cut enough that I have only one bra in my collection that doesn’t show. If it was petite, that situation likely would be remedied (and if I like it enough I may get the straps shortened to accomplish this). The one thing that has me torn whether to keep or not is the pockets. While I love me some pockets, these sort of ruin the line and make it look more casual. They’re of the same heavyweight fabric and aren’t deep enough to drape nicely, so they sort of add a bit of puckering and are obviously pockets. I haven’t tried pressing them, and I only tried it on twice, so we’ll see. For now it’s in my closet with tags still attached. If you’re taller, this could be a super awesome dress as it’s only $68 but could pass for an over $100 dress. So… WIN? I’ll keep you posted…
I am putting both of these together because they are essentially the same top. I got both in Large. I returned both as soon as I slipped them over my head. I don’t know the online reviews are so darn positive but I thought these were really cheesy looking and cheap. The sleeves weren’t flattering, the top draped weird and hit at a strange length. I felt I looked like a bridesmaid that got in a bar fight. FAIL
I was slow to the bomber jacket trend, but was thinking how cute they look with a simple tank or tee and shorts or girlfriend jeans… or even over a little dress. Imagine an olive bomber over a striped tee dress with some slip-on sneakers, a great alternative to a denim jacket or cardigan. Anyway… I got this bomber jacket in a 12 (which supposedly fits like a 14). I could hardly fit my arms into the sleeves yet the body was huge and voluminous, and not in an oversized cool way. And see where the jacket hits on the model? On my 5’3” self it hit past the crotch. FAIL.
This is the kind of dress female corporate Americans desire. It looks polished and professional yet won’t cause you to overheat. I envisioned switching out the belt for one of leather, pairing with a blazer or cardigan when needed, and then rocking it on the weekend with a pair of tan flat sandals.
I think I’ve ordered a version of this dress from LOFT every spring and every spring I return it because it looks like a sack. I think this is a great dress if you’re slim or firm. But it’s a faux-silk sack with a few strategic pleats to remove any trace of body definition, and tries to bring it back with a thin cord that hits at an unnatural place on the torso. It’s a piece I could make work with the right belt and shoes and maybe a necklace… but summer clothing shouldn’t require so much effort. FAIL
Reviews said these were too big which meant they’d be the perfect size for big-earring loving me. Right? Wrong. These are not big, their meh size (maybe as wide as a quarter and about the height of a quarter and a dime) made them look dated. Seriously I think my mom rocked similar earrings in 1989. FAIL
This was on clearance and then 50% off so I can’t return it even if I wanted to. I got a Large Regular. This dress is fine. It’s not something that ‘sparks joy’ when I put it on, but it’s something that fits, is relatively flattering, and incredibly versatile. As I type this, I’m wearing it with my denim jacket and Clarks suede booties. And well, it was cheap as anything and doesn’t feel cheap (hello ottoman rib). It’s not too tight or short for work, it’s a good throw on with Birks and head to Target dress. So yeah, it’s not awesome but it’s still a WIN.
Another striped dress on clearance and even cheaper with a promo code. They didn’t have L so I got an XL. An XL is too big, it was gaping at the boatneck, the sleeves covered my whole hands, it’s tent-like and hangs below my knees. Ugh, and it was final sale. But washer and dryer to the rescue, it shrunk like most LOFT clothes do and now it’s super cute! The sleeves are longer than you see on the model, so I likely won’t wear this a lot (come on summer!), but it will be great in the fall. WIN.
I got this in petite large. It’s huge. It’s mid to bottom of knee, full enough to be able to wear second trimester. But I thought it was cute in a boho relaxed way and having it off the shoulder I felt balanced the volume. I slipped on some gold gladiator sandals, a couple gold delicate necklaces and my Panama hat and was like, Oh Em Gee I am totes wearing this as an outfit post and then to the farmers market!
Then Karl walked into the room and said, “Does that come with a belt?” So I tried it with my raffia and leather belt, my tan wrap belt, and both looked lame. I asked if it looked boho cool and he said, “Yes, if you’re pregnant.” I took off the hat and really looked at it. The fabric is crinkly, but it’s poly and I started thinking how it could be itchy and hot in the summer. The length was too long, if it hit top of the knee it would be better. A medium would be too tight in the top. So I returned it. I bet it would have looked smashing in an outfit post, but in everyday life bopping along the path between stalls at the farmers market I’d end up bumping into an old college friend who would end up asking me when I was due. So yeah, no thank you LOFT. FAIL.
Oh I dream of slouchy shirts, the sleeves pushed up carelessly but with such a chic effect. Linen, silk, washed chambray, tencel. Maybe one button too many unbuttoned at the collar, exposing a hint of cleavage and a cool necklace. The last buttons unbuttoned, just the ones done to keep me from exposing too much. Pair with skinny white jeans, half-tuck into some girlfriend jeans or denim cut-offs, wear alone with sexy bedhead while I drink coffee in a window seat. The reviews said this shirt was soft and longer than most chambray shirts, woot!
I dream of this look, but it rarely works on me. I am not willowy and I do not own a window seat. And this shirt didn’t accomplish this effect. It looked like something I’d pick up at Goodwill to wear when painting the house. The color was terrible, the wash was dated, it was not soft enough, slouchy enough. Looked more like part of a uniform. I know so many of you love J.Jill but I swear I’ve tried this same tunic on at their store and have seen many women over 40 wear it and look like they’re going to work on an assembly line while they likely feel they look as though they’re sipping coffee in a window seat. Women, we can do better. FAIL
This is one trend I wanted to adopt this spring. I so thought it would work with my current wardrobe, over Breton tops and band tees, with printed skirts and white jeans. I’ve now tried five different ones and they all look hideous. This one fits, but the chambray color isn’t interesting enough and just looks like a dull blue jacket. The cut is really basic and didn’t look cool or modern or flattering, just like something that I could have purchased at JC Penney in 1991. FAIL
I ordered a 32 in regular and petite. They may be cute but I couldn’t slip them over my calves so I’ll never know. FAIL
I’ve always had luck sizing up with shorts, less likely to ride up or get wonky in the crotch. Also with thicker thighs, it provides more breathing room. This was not a good choice with these shorts. I got a 16. Karl said they looked like the bottom of the suit Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman. Pretty accurate. They fit in the waist but ballooned everywhere else making me look frump da dump. I can’t even tell if they’d be cute in a different size, I doubt it would work because the waist would be too small. These also were surely too long for me (I'd do better with 5″). That being said the color is pretty (it's like a hot coral) whcih I felt would be fun with denim, chambray, and all my stripes… but these shorts were a big ass (literally) FAIL.
I have this shirt in silver and love it. When it went on mega sale I got this thinking it was like rose gold. It is not like rose gold. It is the same exact color as my skin, but sparkly. Call me Edward Cullen. This may be great if you have a darker skintone, but for me it’s a FAIL
I thought this shirt was this shirt on sale so I ordered in a different color combo. It is not the same shirt. This is stiffer, and far shorter. See how short it is on the model? It’s also that short on me. It was not cute. FAIL
Cotton/linen blend and cap sleeves seemed like a smart choice for my striped-obsessed self for the dog days of summer. I got an XL so I could wear it casually with shorts or knot it with a skirt. This is itchy and fit super weird and wasn’t light and breezy like other linen blend tees from J. Crew. FAIL
So yeah, this is a long post but as you can see, I only kept three dresses and none of them were anything holy grail perfect. So I’m still on the hunt. Have you had any success lately? Share in the comments, you may inspire me and other readers, or help us find exactly what we need to complete our wardrobes!