And it's too bad because I think I look cute AND it took forever and a day to get dressed.
I forgot my camera at work.
I am wearing my fuzzy gray shrug-like cardigan from Kenzie, my black scoop tee from Gap, Old Navy maternity jeans that reader Martha hooked me up with, my long ivory and wood bead necklaces from Limited, my black Chucks and silver cuff.
Hair is second day, sorta messy/shaggy/cute.
Makeup is pretty much exactly what I did yesterday.
Well on to the pregnant woman fashion drama…
Nothing fits you in the last month or so. These jeans are the type with the egg-shaped jersey part in front for the belly, plus stretchiness all the way around the waistband. Well the stretchy parts are not the same shape as my belly, so the seam digs in about an inch above my pubic area… where my very tender stretch marks are located. If I pull down the jeans to have the seam in the right place, the navy stretchy part peeks out under my shirt. I go to pull it back up… and tear out the side of the stretchy stuff. Excellent. This is the best pair I own right now. Secret Fit Belly jeans slide right down just from walking to the front door, Low-rise Belly is more painful than this seam on my stretch marks, Roll Panel is pretty useless without a Bella Band over it to hold it up (and wearing that much crap is just not comfortable), and Below Belly is NOT below belly on a petite woman.
So I have on clothing. Now I need to put on shoes.
The Creston flats from Naturalizer are comfortable, except that I have very thick ankles and no curvature near the Achilles' tendon so they slide right off with socks or else rub and cause blisters with bare feet. Murphy's Law – the brown Mary Janes from Sofft – I lost a heel cap yesterday. So it's either gold Crocs with Jibbitz or Chucks. Neither are work-appropriate, but at least it's Casual Friday. So I put on a pair of my thinnest trouser socks and try the Chucks.
For those who have not been pregnant, let me tell you what it's like to put on shoes when you are just a few weeks from your due date…
Take the shoes, and knot the laces right at the very end where the plastic ends are. This makes it easier so you don't have to try to tie your own shoes, and they are already sent to maximum width.
Sit down on the toilet (seat Closed). This is a good seat because you can sit with your legs wide apart, and it's not too high for petite legs. Breathe, because just getting to the bathroom with the shoes was a bit exhausting. Look down at the shoes, and will them to be cooperative.
Pick up one shoe and rest it on the side of the sink. Then grab the inside of your right pant leg and use it to hoist up your right leg. Rest your right ankle on your left knee and marvel at how puffy and enormous it is. Stretch out the shoe and try to wiggle it on your foot without having your foot slip from your knee and fall back to the floor (those never pregnant, image doing this if your leg had fallen asleep). When the foot does fall, pick up shoe, catch your breath, pick up foot and try again. When shoe is 95% on the foot, then stand up, put foot on top of toilet and bend down, trying to reach foot to get the last of the heel in and the shoe tongue straight. When finished, stand up, feel proud of yourself, catch your breath, take a sip of water and prepare to do the second foot.
Total time to put on two shoes – 17 minutes. Tears shed in frustration – several (thank you Maybelline UltraLiner for being waterproof!). Lady on Metro saying I am the cutest pregnant woman she has ever seen?