Picture-Free Friday

And it's too bad because I think I look cute AND it took forever and a day to get dressed.

I forgot my camera at work.

I am wearing my fuzzy gray shrug-like cardigan from Kenzie, my black scoop tee from Gap, Old Navy maternity jeans that reader Martha hooked me up with, my long ivory and wood bead necklaces from Limited, my black Chucks and silver cuff.

Hair is second day, sorta messy/shaggy/cute.

Makeup is pretty much exactly what I did yesterday.

Well on to the pregnant woman fashion drama…

Nothing fits you in the last month or so. These jeans are the type with the egg-shaped jersey part in front for the belly, plus stretchiness all the way around the waistband. Well the stretchy parts are not the same shape as my belly, so the seam digs in about an inch above my pubic area… where my very tender stretch marks are located. If I pull down the jeans to have the seam in the right place, the navy stretchy part peeks out under my shirt. I go to pull it back up… and tear out the side of the stretchy stuff. Excellent. This is the best pair I own right now. Secret Fit Belly jeans slide right down just from walking to the front door, Low-rise Belly is more painful than this seam on my stretch marks, Roll Panel is pretty useless without a Bella Band over it to hold it up (and wearing that much crap is just not comfortable), and Below Belly is NOT below belly on a petite woman.

So I have on clothing. Now I need to put on shoes.

The Creston flats from Naturalizer are comfortable, except that I have very thick ankles and no curvature near the Achilles' tendon so they slide right off with socks or else rub and cause blisters with bare feet. Murphy's Law – the brown Mary Janes from Sofft – I lost a heel cap yesterday. So it's either gold Crocs with Jibbitz or Chucks. Neither are work-appropriate, but at least it's Casual Friday. So I put on a pair of my thinnest trouser socks and try the Chucks.

For those who have not been pregnant, let me tell you what it's like to put on shoes when you are just a few weeks from your due date…

Take the shoes, and knot the laces right at the very end where the plastic ends are. This makes it easier so you don't have to try to tie your own shoes, and they are already sent to maximum width.

Sit down on the toilet (seat Closed). This is a good seat because you can sit with your legs wide apart, and it's not too high for petite legs. Breathe, because just getting to the bathroom with the shoes was a bit exhausting. Look down at the shoes, and will them to be cooperative.

Pick up one shoe and rest it on the side of the sink. Then grab the inside of your right pant leg and use it to hoist up your right leg. Rest your right ankle on your left knee and marvel at how puffy and enormous it is. Stretch out the shoe and try to wiggle it on your foot without having your foot slip from your knee and fall back to the floor (those never pregnant, image doing this if your leg had fallen asleep). When the foot does fall, pick up shoe, catch your breath, pick up foot and try again. When shoe is 95% on the foot, then stand up, put foot on top of toilet and bend down, trying to reach foot to get the last of the heel in and the shoe tongue straight. When finished, stand up, feel proud of yourself, catch your breath, take a sip of water and prepare to do the second foot.

Total time to put on two shoes – 17 minutes. Tears shed in frustration – several (thank you Maybelline UltraLiner for being waterproof!). Lady on Metro saying I am the cutest pregnant woman she has ever seen?

Priceless!

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18 Comments

  1. Madeleine
    November 25, 2008 / 11:18 am

    I just cried with laughter at your description of getting the shoes on, Allie. Thanks for that- am just back at work after 4 days of stinking head cold, and starting the day with a belly laugh helped ease the transition back to work!
    Can I just point out that you look better-put-together heavily pregnant than I do not? Your daily attention to hair and make-up is admirable and is a well-needed kick up the arse for those of us who are starting to realise that a lick of mascara applied on the bus to work every morning isn’t really cutting it…

  2. Kelby
    November 24, 2008 / 11:24 pm

    I am a long time reader and don’t comment very often, but this post made me. I think I am a couple weeks behind you and LOL’d at this post because it is me exactly. Have no lap so can’t get that leg up there to stay to get those darn shoes on. I wish I could wear flip flops every day, but am having foot problems, so I need more structured shoes.

    Anyways, I think that you look cute and I always look at you in amazement because you are much more put together than I am at this stage.

  3. November 24, 2008 / 2:44 pm

    Yep, have the Bella Band, but it still doesn’t help much with these crazy jeans! When I went to the salon on Saturday I wore the Motherhood Secret Fits that I scored for $9 off eBay, with the Bella Band over them to hopefully hold them up. Still hiking them up and feeling like a mess. But the Bella Band is a Godsend with most of the trousers I purchased earlier on in the pregnancy that just don’t fit well any longer.

    The days I am at home I chill out in yoga pants and a hoodie, and then I catch a glimpse of myself and feel even more fat and messy and slow than I did before. Though going to work is a real struggle these days, it at least forces me to put some care into my appearance, which does make the day far better and make me feel better about myself! 🙂

    Oh and these Old Navy ponte pants, I know they will not be going anywhere post-baby. So comfy, and so kind to the belly! 🙂

  4. Anonymous
    November 24, 2008 / 2:26 pm

    Hey, that last post was not helpful! I even came home from the hospital in a bathrobe. I saw women wearing shorts and jeans days after giving birth. Ha. When they came to get the last minute paperwork they were mad at me because they thought I wasn’t dressed to leave. I said I’m getting into a car and then going right into my house and getting into bed. Why would I get dressed?

  5. Anonymous
    November 24, 2008 / 12:31 am

    i loved, loved, loved being pregnant – however it was hot and summer, and so i lived in tank tops and skirts.

    have you tried a bella band? google them, if not – they are super helpful to getting pants to fit. i only bought a couple pairs of maternity pants, alot of my “normal” ones i managed with the bella band.

  6. November 23, 2008 / 6:00 pm

    I bet you ARE the cutest pregnant woman many have ever seen! 🙂

    In my case I was fortunate to work at a very casual place, so I wore the same black pair of Old Navy flip flops for the last couple months of pregnancy…and I’m just now starting to wear other shoes, 7 weeks since my daughter’s arrival. 😉

  7. November 22, 2008 / 11:01 pm

    I am right there with ya Allie. I love being pregnant, but my belly is already very big at 6 mos along with #5. I just broke down and ordered a coat, cause I”m freezing.

    The jeans issue is killing me! Cannot keep a pair up. The Motherhood Secret Fit pair is my favorite. The Gap is my least favorite – the denim hits me right at the bottom of my belly where the baby is.
    Underwear? Hahaha!
    Not sure who is designing maternity clothes these days…

  8. Anonymous
    November 22, 2008 / 7:55 pm

    I feel your pain…I’m 5’2″and small. Both my babies were 9 lbs even – my 2nd was 9 days early as well. I had issues! Good luck!

  9. laniza
    November 22, 2008 / 7:22 pm

    I’m there with you! I’m about 31 weeks along and have literally 4 pairs of flats that I wear constantly. Don’t even get me started on pants or shirts for that matter! My biggest issue right now is winter coats!

  10. November 22, 2008 / 4:39 pm

    Hope you dont have too much longer to work!

  11. Anonymous
    November 22, 2008 / 3:10 pm

    This brings back memories!! My first was almost 15 years ago and my second just turned 12. With my second I was two weeks overdue and we found out she was at least 10 pounds! (She ended up being almost 11 pounds.) It was September and at least 5000 degrees!! I wore shorts and flip flops to work and double-dog dared anyone to say a thing!!

    You look fantastic!!

    Amy

  12. Maris
    November 22, 2008 / 4:48 am

    You’re a trooper for getting dressed and going to work. In my last month and a half of pregnancy, I told my manager I was working from home full time, no negotiation, it just HAD to be that way. I was exhausted and couldn’t deal with the commute.

    So I spent the last month and a half in men’s PJ pants and long sleeve tshirts and no shoes. Or if I had to wear shoes it was slip-on Birkenstock mules. (Boston is the style name, I think) Luckily I did not have the swollen ankle problem.

    Hang in there mama! 🙂

  13. TaraIncognita
    November 22, 2008 / 3:07 am

    Allie, we love you and are all cracking up (in a good way) at the stories of getting dressed. Anyone who has been pregnant applauds your efforts to be cute even when you want to tear your hair out (or, not. You probably are happy with your hair, unless you’re like me and it hurt so bad to stand more than 2 mins that I hated having long hair by the end of the pregnancy, shiny and thick though it was!)

    Good for that woman for sharing her compliment. So often people keep good thoughts to themselves out of shyness. I am sure you were darling!

  14. Anonymous
    November 22, 2008 / 1:53 am

    Honestly Allie, you will find the next pregnancy (if you decide to have more kids) to be much much easier. it is like the body is getting tried and tested that first time. I have gained less weigh, am much more flexible and agile and just dont have near the aches and pains I did last time. And I am fitting into clothes easier this time – it’s really not fair but I promise the second pregnancy is usually much much easier on the body!
    Hang in there – you look great and the reward will be worth it!

    Due in about a week myself 🙂
    -Grace

  15. Anonymous
    November 22, 2008 / 1:31 am

    LOL…thanks for the memories (12 years ago!). I still remember the stretchy black pants that I wore constantly the last 6 weeks (and, um, the first 6 months after the birth). You look great, regardless!

    — Grace in MA

  16. November 21, 2008 / 10:51 pm

    I feel your pain – with my second pregnancy I literally wore the same black flip flops (with SPARKLES! very fancy) to work every day for the last two weeks. That was all that fit and I just could not bring myself to buy any shoes that I would only wear for two weeks. Hang in there!

  17. November 21, 2008 / 10:30 pm

    i remember how horrible it was clothing wise in my last few weeks. no one ever mentions that you will outgrow your maternity clothes!!

  18. November 21, 2008 / 8:29 pm

    I can sympathize! My baby is 6.5 months old and I am short too. The last 2 months of my pregnancy were MISERABLE! You finally get to the point where you just don’t care how you look, and if that navy stretchy part of your jeans shows under your shirt, you don’t care. Dressing and putting on shoes is a workout. I just started wearing slip on shoes that I could put on while standing. And I think I lived in crocs the last month. Good luck. It will all be worth it when you hold your bundle of joy!

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